Author Archives: Katherine Gordy Levine

Don’t Deprive: Help You and Others Thrive. How To Tips

Reminder of what matters

Remember what the sages knew and what the researches have found true: When you give to others, you not only give to another, but to the world. Moreover, kindness helps you thrive. Kindness creates good karma.

Emotional Fitness Tips

Tip one: Practice kindness constantly, randomly, not randomly. any way you can, as often as you can.

Tip two: Practicing kindness does not demand being Pollyanna happy all the time.  Desperately seeking happiness  is denying reality, but we can work to handle the bad times better.  When my last nerve is under someone’s foot, and being kind is not  possible at that moment, I try to “Suck it up, Ms. Buttercup.” and minimally not turn cruel.

Tip three: Know that every act of kindness, may contain cruelty somewhere and to someone.  Act kindly anyway. You will make a difference in the smaller things where you can be almost certain, the kindness outweighs any cruelty. At the same time do not neglect trying to be kind in the wider world, but do so thoughtfully. Particularly when others are speaking passionately about an issue or playing on emotion.

Tip four:Remember your mission. Staying kind is easier when you know why you are here and what you want your life to stand for.

Consider buying my eBook: Know Your Mission So You Can Reach Your Goals, it is  available on Amazon.com. It costs less than a Baskin and Robbins Hot Fudge Sundae and you can always revisit it for seconds.

Tips For Parents

Tip one: Teach teaching children about kindness as soon as they can walk and talk.

Tip two: Start by being kind and surrounding all children with kindness.

Tip three: Teach manners. Not the kind about what forks go where, but the ones that honor and acknowledge others.

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting is practicing kindness and kindness keeps me going

Katherine

This post was inspired by the Word Press  Daily Post Prompt “Deprive”

I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.

Not sure  how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has  taken others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (www.emotionalfitnesstraining.com
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

Do Not Voyage Blindly – Know Your Mission Then Set Your Course

Mission quotes

Life is a voyage into the unknown. Not all that happens is yours to control. That said having a mission and some goals betters your chanced of doing things your way.

When did you last ask yourself what you wanted your life to stand for? Have you faced your own mortality yet? That is when most of us wonder what our lives have added up to.  So the first step in thinking about your mission is to contemplate your death.

Emotional Fitness Training Tips

The purpose of thinking about dying is to help you clarify your personal life mission meaning what you want said about you after you are gone.

Tip one: Remember what matters most  and that means trying to make your part of the world a bit kinder for all you meet. That is what EFT calls The Mission.

This is not just a bit of do good dogma. Doing good is karma, kindness is karma. All the studies show that the Golden Rule of treating others as you want to be treated as taught  across the centuries in all cultures leads to not just a good life, but a longer  life, greater happiness,  better relationships, and adds to the presence of  peace on earth.

Tip two: Think about dying tonight, a year from now, three years from now. Many gurus ask what you would do if you knew you were going to die the next day. Only marginally useful for it allows no time to focus more strongly on what matters. Thinking  of a year from now and three years from now empowers you more.

Tip  three: Take the time to write a personal mission statementDoing so is not as hard as your think. When you have written yours print it up and hang it where you will see it regularly.

Tip four: Create a mission statement slogan.  “Remember what matters” is one. “Doing good for me and others” another; “Practicing kindness pays” a third. Use one of these or find your own.

Tip five: Act daily on your mission. This means practicing deliberate kindness.  As this Poster Coach show doing so is easy.

Ways to practice kindness

When I walked the streets of New York I loved complimenting strangers.  Made two days:theirs and mine.

Tip six is for parents: Start teaching children about kindness as soon as they can walk and talk. Begin with teaching manners. Not the kind about what forks go where, but the ones that honor and acknowledge others.

Also consider buying my eBook: Know Your Mission So You Can Reach Your Goals, it is  available on Amazon.com. It costs less than a Baskin and Robbins Hot Fudge Sundae and you can always revisit it for seconds.

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting is practicing kindness and kindness keeps me going

Katherine

This post was inspired by the Word Press  Daily Post Prompt “Voyage”

You can do the same.This post is a replay of a previous post prompted by  today’s WordPress DAILY PROMPT  “Voyage.”

I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.

Not sure  how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has  taken others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (www.emotionalfitnesstraining.com
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

Commercial: Know Your Mission So You Can Reach Your Goals, an Emotional Fitness eBook is available on Amazon.com. It costs less than a Baskin and Robbins Hot Fudge Sundae and you can always revisit it for seconds.

Katherine

Awe Shucks – Six Plus Tips to a Good Appology

How to apology

Big tip: read the above and do it right.

Emotional Fitness Thoughts

Why do so many find it so hard to apologize when an apology is at the top of the list for healing hurt and maintaining relationships?   Two reasons:

Reason one: The pain of being imperfect: fear of being shamed, seen as weak, or making a flaw known.

Reason two: Blind to having hurt another

Emotional Fitness Tips

Tip one: All are flawed. We may be made in God’s image, and maybe God is  or was flawed. Sacrilegious? Maybe, maybe not? Who knows. What is known is that humankind is flawed.

Tip two: We think too much about what other people think about us. Most people are too busy thinking about themselves to think much about others.

Tip three: Apologizing is a sign of strength. Thinking otherwise is true weakness.

Tip four: When a person claims a hurt, immediately ask: “What can I do to make things better?”   Usually, just asking is enough; when it isn’t do what the person asks if it is reasonable. Not reasonable? Admit, “That’s not possible, what else can I do to make things better.”

Tip five: Learn about Gotcha Wars.  Refusing to accept an apology is a battle strategy. Buy my parenting eBook When Good Kids Get You in a Gotcha War. Kids are not the only ones who try to make you the bad guy.  It is on special for 79 cents and will help you avoid being wounded.

Tip six: Remember the only road to the good life is to practice kindness as often and anyway you can. Apologies are a bridge on that road that carry you safely across troubled waters.

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting also keep matter as your caring keeps me going.

Katherine

This post was inspired by the Word Press  Daily Post Prompt “Awe”

Probably not what the prompter was looking for, but where my wandering mind took me. And the right apology can be awe-inspiring.

I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.  You can do the same.

Not sure  how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has  taken others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

 

Empty of Sound – Speaking to the Hard of Hearing

I am hard of hearing and slowly going completely deaf. As the video shows being deaf is a terrible, empty, and lonely life. But sign language is the way out of despair.

I am grateful for captioning, for the internet as both help me be with others. Being with others is one of the corner stones of emotional health. Fact: I am becoming lonelier and lonelier as I hear less and less. Joining conversations is difficult, others find trying to communicate with me pain, all too often I think I understand something and speak out to be met with confused looks that tell me I did not get what was said. Painful.

Emotional Fitness Thoughts

Thought one: Every child should be taught signing starting in pre-school and continuing through college. Signing needs to be credited as a second language.

My grands and I learned a bit before they learned to speak. Signing Time Tapes were a blessing. I got mine at Goodwill, but the library also carried them. The problem comes when the child learns to speak. Talking is so much easier interest in signing wanes. Having it being taught in their preschool onward would have kept them going.

Thought two: The various signing languages need to be made one globally accepted language. No American Sign Language or French Sign Language, just sign language.

Thought three: All movies and videos need to be captioned. 

Thought four: Hearing aids should be available on a sliding fee scale. Mine cost $3000 dollars and last only three or four years. No way I can replace it on my current income.

Emotional Fitness Tips

Tip one: Get hearing tested regularly particularly as you age.

Tip two: Do not put off getting a hearing aid if the audiologist says you need one. When you hear poorly, you lose sound recognition and improved hearing once you get a hearing aid does not bring that back.

Tip three: Find and take a Signing Course, get your significant other to take it with you.

Tip four: Educate you significant others on how to talk so you can hear. Give them this Poster Coach. Remind that following these rules is an act of kindness and Practicing Kindness, an Easy Emotional Fitness Exercise, improves their Emotional Intelligence.

How to speak to a deaf person

And to lighten things up a bit: here is a hearing aid joke:

Hearing aide joke

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting also keep matter as your caring keeps me going.

Katherine

This post was inspired by the Word Press  Daily Post Prompt “Empty”

I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.  You can do the same.

Not sure  how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has led others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

 

Find Your One and Only True Companion

Poem by #johnciardi

You marry for one reason, and in time might wonder what you were thinking.  Probably, you weren’t thinking, but that is another story.

I found this poem when struggling with marital conflict. It made me think hard about what I wanted and how to get it. That was over thirty years ago. Still married to the same man, still struggling at times, but no regrets, none.

Emotional Fitness Tips

Tip one: You are the one; your needs are your responsibility.  No way around this one. The needs are yours and you cannot expect another to meet them better than you can.

Tip two: You need a help mate.  As the poet Elizabeth B. Browning noted: “I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me you bring out.”

Tip three: You have to give in order to get.  Relationships take nurturing. You need to give what the other needs to get what you need.

Tip four: Laugh and play together as often as you can.  John Gottman, researcher on relationships, found that the ones that lasted were the ones where good times were present five more often than bad times.

I often think Johnny Carson saved my marriage. We had a tv in the bedroom and never when to sleep without watching his monalogue and sometimes the whole show.

Tip five: Get away from each other. Doing your own thing on your own or with your friends meets the need to be you, just you.

We took separate vacations as well as family vacations. We also had nights off, time off both meaning time alone.

Tip six: Remember what matters. End short term relationships quickly if yours and the other’s needs are out of sync.  End physically abusive relationships immediately.

Hold on to and work the relationship when young children are involved or the relationship has survived many years. Facts show new relationships often turn out to have the same problem as old ones.

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting also keep matter as your caring keeps me going.

Katherine

This post was inspired by the Word Press  Daily Post Prompt “Companion”

I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.  You can do the same.

Not sure  how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has led others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

 

Be With Beauty Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring – An Emotional Fitness Exercise

Picture and quote about beauty

Emotional Fitness Thoughts

Be With Beauty is one of the 12 Daily Emotional Fitness Exercises.  Two things are involved.  The first? Learning to find beauty every where you go. The second? To be fully aware of beauty when you find it.

Tip one: Learn to see beauty everywhere.  Beauty surrounds us, but whether we see it is  a matter of focus.

In the above poster coach, the gold, the sand, the sea are traditionally seen as beauty.  A slimy, salt encrusted, seaweed dripping piece of drift wood is by some as thing of beauty, by others not.

Focus on one grain of sand? Not likely to be viewed as beautiful. See it  viewed through under a microscope and a new spectrum of beauty opens up.

When beauty is not readily visible, usually it is most helpful to narrow your  focus. You can When beauty is not immediately visible narrow your focus. Find a picture in a museum unappealing? Focus on what you do find appealing. Perhaps that is a color, the way a line swirls, or a form takes shape.

Tip two: Cultivate the ability to be fully aware of beauty when you find it. All EFT’s exercises are most effective when practiced with full awareness.  Full awareness is achieved by using the One Minute Meditation or  OMM as you do the exercise. How to OMM for full awareness:

  1. Take  Calming Breath by breathing in slowly, holding your breath for a count of five, then breathe out slowly.
  2. Breathe normally.
  3. Focus  on the exercise.
  4. When your mind begins to wander, take another Calming Breath and refocus or end the exercise by taking another Calming Breathe, smiling gently and saying “Thank You.”

Tip three: Practice is a must.  K. Anders Ericsson the worlds leading expert on skill building  says it takes 10,000 hours of practice to develop the skills needed to become an expert or star performer in every field.

That may sound like bad news, but only if you are reaching for an Olympic Gold Medal or to debut at Carnegie Hall.  Being with Beauty requires much less practice. Still some is needed which is why this exercise as with all Emotional Fitness Training Exercises can be practiced in less than a minute.

One word of caution, as you begin to learn to Be With Beauty, practice mainly when you are reasonably calm. As your skill using this exercise builds, you can use it as a soothing exercise, but trying that too soon defeats its soothing power.

Tip four: Surround yourself with beauty. Practicing Being With Beauty is mega-easy when you surround yourself with what you find beautiful. At my desk I have a lovely seashell, some flowers, and on the wall a picture I love for the beauty I see when I glance at it. When stress builds or I want a quick mini break, I can be with one of these.

Tip five: Use a practice reminder.  EFT’s Poster Coaches are designed to be printed up and posted where you will see them and be reminded to practice. Add another practice reminder to the Poster Coach. When your phone rings, or during commercials.

Tip six: When you go out into the real world look for beauty and breathe it in and always remember to be grateful.  

Visit my Be With Beauty Pinterest Board. If you want to be a Be With Beauty photographer, let me know at emotfit@live.com and I will send you details about how to share your Being With Beauty pictures with others.

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting also keep matter as your caring keeps me going.

Katherine

This post was inspired by the Word Press  Daily Post Prompt “Summer”

I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.  You can do the same.

Not sure  how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has led others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

How To Stop Aimless Wandering That Gets You No Where

Quotes about missions

Wandering? wondering? Not happy with you or your life? Time to check your mission, set some SMART goals, and move on. Once you know who you want to be and where you want to go, then wander a bit, but only then.

Emotional Fitness Training Tips

Tip one: Take time to think about how you want to be remembered when you are no longer in this world.  Live to make that happen.

Tip two: Remember all the research shows and sages of the ages know that what matters and what leads to the good life is being kind, sharing what you have, and being grateful for all you have been given. That is my mission and I am proud of it.

Tip three: Learn more about Missions and Goals? Instead of getting a Latte, download my eBook, Know Your Mission So You Can Reach Your Goals. The $2.99 you spend will do you more good longer than a latte.

Tip four: Like to wander? Wandering teaches lessons. So include some wander time in your goals.

Tip five: Face reality. Life brings pain and joy, sadness and happiness to all but not equally; many suffer much and others little.  The stronger your self-soothing skills, to better you can move forward when life beats down on you.  Go here to learn four easy Self-soothing Skills. 

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting also keep matter as your caring keeps me going.

Katherine

This post was inspired by the traumatic shooting in Orlando, but also fits in with Word Press’  Daily Post Prompt “Aimless”

I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.  You can do the same.

Not sure  how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has led others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)