Author Archives: Katherine Gordy Levine

TAKING A GRATITUDE BREAK – 101 COURSE CONTINUES 12/4/2014

Show your gratitude by practicing deliberate kindness as well as the random kindness so often talked about. Both improve your Emotional Intelligence.

Go Beyond Random Kindness

Read on for the Daily Prompt that inspired this post, Links of Interest, and Free Stuff.  As always Thank you for all you to do share what I offer. Your likes, comments, and shares keep me going.

Katherine

WORD PRESS DAILY PROMPT: Leftovers Sandwich – Today, publish a post based on unused material from a previous piece –a paragraph you nixed, a link you didn’t include, a photo you decided not to use. Let your leftovers shine!

Have essentially been doing this all week.

FREE  STUFF FROM EFTI

All the handouts and poster coaches on this blog are being posted at the store so you can download them for free.

Apologies if you cannot find one.  I am a Jill of all in this business, so some things take longer than others.  If something used here isn’t posted yet, you will find lots of other offerings including inspirational quotes or more EFTI exercises. In time all will be posted.

And as always, thank you for all the ways you have supported me. May the good you do return a hundredfold.

LINKS OF INTEREST

As you go about life think about this: “Enough is a feast.”  Irish Proverb 

TAKING A GRATITUDE BREAK – 101 COURSE CONTINUES 12/4/2014

Emotional Fitness Training poster coach about gratitude #emotionalThose of us able to read this on a computer are among the very rich no matter what our income; be grateful for that, and for all the things

DAILY PROMPT  – Never Too Late  Is there a person you should’ve thanked, but never had the chance? Is there someone who helped you along the way without even realizing it? Here’s your chance to express your belated gratitude.

Always someone more to thank. Always.  When it seems too late, you can always use that as a lesson to remember to thank others. You can also contribute to a charity as a way to thank someone who has moved on.

FREE  STUFF FROM EFTI

All the handouts and poster coaches on this blog are being posted at the store so you can download them for free.

Apologies if you cannot find one.  I am a Jill of all in this business, so some things take longer than others.  If something used here isn’t posted yet, you will find lots of other offerings including inspirational quotes or more EFTI exercises. In time all will be posted.

And as always, thank you for all the ways you have supported me. May the good you do return a hundredfold.

Katherine

 

TAKING A GRATITUDE BREAK – 101 COURSE CONTINUES 12/4/2014

#EmotionalIntelligencePoster Coach Practice Gratitude quotes.

FREE  STUFF FROM EFTI

All the handouts and poster coaches on this blog are being posted at the store so you can download them for free.

Apologies if you cannot find one.  I am a Jill of all in this business, so some things take longer than others.  If something used here isn’t posted yet, you will find lots of other offerings including inspirational quotes or more EFTI exercises. In time all will be posted.

HOW TO OVERCOME PERFECTIONISM

Accepting imperfection aids in letting go, which is what this post is about.

Anti-perfection quotes

One of the steps to emotional fitness is dealing with the fact that no one is perfect. Painful because it taps into childhood’s reservoir of shame.

Children struggle with shame when they come to realize they are powerless over some things but quite capable of doing the unthinkable – between two and three. The unthinkable according to  Jerome Kagan, human development specialist, is part of the story of Cain and Abel.  Jealousy leading to murder.

For a three year old the unthinkable is the desire to do away with the people that keep you from doing what you want.  The only ones you have power over are younger siblings and small animals.  Kagan points out a strong counter emotion is needed to keep from acting on violent impulses, hence why shame emerges at this particular age and stage.

Also at that age any failure to do something perfectly creates shame, not being good enough.  Shame is all about having to be perfect and fearing other people’s response when you are imperfect.

What to do  Three tips.

First tip: Practice imperfection. Think good enough, when obsessed with getting anything a bit more perfect.  Use “Good enough” as a mantra.

Second tip: Rate how good any effort needs to be. Here’s the Rating Scale poster.

Third tip: Challenge delusions of perfection on the media and in real life.  Look for twisted thinking in all media.  Look for people seeking perfection and say gently, “Good enough seem best in this situation” or something to that effect.

And yes, however, you apply me advice when it works for you it is good enough although less than perfect all the time for all people. As some wise people note about advice “Take what you find helpful, leave the rest.”

 When professional help is needed. As with physcial fitness, emotional fitness exists on a continuum. Seeking perfection can be taken to an extreme. Two extremes that need professional help need to be recognized.

The first? Religious fanaticism.  If you feel less than perfect and deeply shamed by that fact, you often seek help controlling your imperfection in the practice of your faith.  You hope the more perfectly you pray or obey, the more your darker urges will be held in check.  As the revelations of priestly abuse fully demonstrate, religion does not always protect one from sinning.  When faith does not control baser instincts, professional help is needed.

Moreover, when we push our fanaticism on others it becomes a justification of hatred and violence. Another time professional help is needed and by not just people, but some  countries and cultures in our world.

Second extreme: Obsessive Compulsive Disorders (OCD).  Think handwashing that leaves your hands red and raw.  Think not being perfectly sure, you locked your car door and checking not once but hundreds of times.  Professional help is needed.

Parenting tips

First tip: Say “Good try” twice as often as you say “Try harder.”

Second tip: If you child is engaged in competitive sports, counter The Winning is everything mentality with “Having fun is winning even when you lose.”

Third tip: Teach rating scales early on.

Fourth tip: With those moving into the changing thoughts of adolescence engage in conversations about what matters, sweating the small stuff.

Fifth tip:  Children of all ages can be caught up in perfectionism.  Be alert to the possiblity a child is caught by OCD. Here is a handout, I used when teaching

OCD quidelines

This is an information guide, if you are worried, about a child talk to a competent mental health professional, share this handout with him or her.

DAILY PROMPT  – Calling Uncle Bob  Have you ever faced a difficult situation when you had to choose between sorting it out yourself, or asking someone else for an easy fix? What did you choose — and would you make the same choice today?

FREE  STUFF FROM EFTI

All the handouts and poster coaches for this course are being posted at the store so you can download them for free.

Apologies if you cannot find one.  I am a Jill of all in this business, so some things take longer than others.  If something used here isn’t posted yet, you will find lots of other offerings including inspirational quotes or more EFTI exercises. In time all will be posted.

LINKS OF INTEREST

NEXT UP

The Honor Your Strength Exercise a Letting Go tool to counter perfectionism.

PRACTICE KINDNESS

Please rate this material. Doing so helps me ratings. This is what your stars will mean to me. No stars – Not helpful; One star – Reinforced my knowledge –  Two Stars; New information –  Three stars;  New useful information; Four stars – Very good; Five stars – Excellent.

Thank you and work at staying strong until next time,. I work hard to do the same as life is often difficult but staying strong lets me find the good.

Katherine