Author Archives: Katherine Gordy Levine

What the School of Hard Knocks Teaches: Tips to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

I attended an Ivy League School and taught at two. However, it was the traumas and life blows I survived that taught me the most.

QUOTES ABOUT TRAUMA

We all have endured some trauma or another; some others seem worse than ours, others trivial in comparison.

The truth? What shatters and shakes your world is a life blow no matter what anyone else thinks.

Here is  one that hit me when I was seven or eight.  That was when I realizing my mother had lied to me; she had convinced me Santa Claus was alive and did indeed travel around the world on a sleigh pulled by eight reindeer. When I discovered that was far from true, my faith in her fell apart.  Seems small and many children go through this type of life blow, but it did change me forever.

As the quote by Jodi Picoult on the above poster quote notes, you are not the same person after a life blow. Moreover, it does not matter how trivial that blow may seem to others.  You become a new you and need to adjust to a new you and a new view of life and people. The experts say you have to find a new normal.

Emotional Fitness Training Tips

Tip one: Know when a less recognized  trauma has visited you.  Depression and fear that interfere with you life are often symptoms of such blows. Think about events  creating major changes in your beliefs about the world and people.  Although rarely seen as such, these are often traumatic.

Tip two:  When a Life Blow hits follow the advice in this Poster Coach.

How to deal with chance gone wrong

Tip three: Practice a daily self-care program. My newest eBook Cross Train Your Brain with Twelve Daily Emotional Fitness Exercises is a good place to start.  Click here for a free download. Free offer extended to February 29th.

Parenting tipS

Tip one: Examine the traumas and disappointments of your life. Have you stayed on the side of kindness? If not, work on getting back there. It is the surest sign trauma has not defeated you.

Tip two: Do not trivialize lesser traumas when they visit your child. Listen, then ask, “How can you get past this blow?”

Tip three: When your child starts walking and talking teach rating pain and hurt skills. Learn to rate pain and hurt, then teach your children to do the same.  Start with rating the bumps and bruises that come with learning to walk.

rating hurts

Tip four:  Teach your children how to manage bad, mad, and sad feelings.  That means learning to think before acting and acting to make things better, not to hurt someone or indulge in payback.

PRACTICE KINDNESS

Thank you for all you do. Thank me by remembering sharing is caring; so is liking, or commenting on this post.

Your caring keeps me going.

Katherine

Thank you Word Press Daily Prompt Alma Mater fjor inspiring this post. You’ve been asked to speak at your high school alma mater — about the path of life. (Whoa.) Draft the speech. I would morph the above

I would morph the above into a speech.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

  1. Four Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (www.emotionalfitnesstraining.com}
  2. An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents (amazon.com)
  3. The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
  4. Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
  5. Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)

Thank you again for all you do.

Katherine

Cross Train Your Brain, 12 Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises

CROSS TRAIN COVER4

My newest EBook. Click here for a free download.  Free offer expires in two weeks. Please let me know if this does not work by commenting. Or if it worked, please like.

Please let me know if this does not work by commenting. Or if it worked, please like.When I  had trouble doing something my mother

When I  had trouble doing something my mother said “Gremlins are after you.”  Trying to get this book out to you fits that description well. But with the help of these Twelve Exercises, I kept trying, and if this does not work, I will try another

Trying to get this book out to you fits that description well. But with the help of these Twelve Exercises, I kept trying, and if this does not work, I will try another

Trying to get this book out to you fits that description well. The problem? My store shut down. Sigh. With the help of these Twelve Exercises, I have moved on  and hope this

With the help of these Twelve Exercises, I have moved on  and hope this work-around works, until I straighten out the problems with the store.

These exercises keep  me thriving when Gremlins are out and about.  I developed them as a foster parent caring for troubled teens, used them when directing mental health crisis teams in New York City before during and after 9/11, and currently  find them essential to practice as I struggle with the loss of my hearing and other problems of aging.

If you are a therapist, coach, or fitness trainer adding them to your practice gives added value to your clients. If you are a parent, these are essential and were first described in my book Parents Are People Too: An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents.

PRACTICE KINDNESS

Thank you for all you do.  Thank me by remembering sharing is caring; so is liking, or commenting on this post.

Your caring keeps me going.

Katherine

This post was inspired by wanting to publicize my book, and not by this Word Press Daily Prompt   Quirk of Habit.  Which quirky habit annoys you the most, and what quirky habit do you love — in yourself, or others.

My Twelve Easy Exercises help keep other people’s quirky habits from getting to me. But what I really thought when I read this Prompt, was I bet this Quirky Habit of including the Word Press Prompts in my blog posts annoys some people.

All habits are less annoying if you do not take them personally and understand that many are not within the other person’s control. This is a habit I control, so why do I do it? Three  reasons.

  1.  I get new readers from posting on Word Press Daily Prompt.
  2. It is a critical thinking exercise and so strengthens my aging brain.
  3. I enjoy doing it and reading other people’s thoughts about the prompt.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

  1. Four Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (www.emotionalfitnesstraining.com}
  2. An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents (amazon.com)
  3. The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
  4. Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
  5. Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)

 

 

Thank you again for all you do.

Katherine

 

Valentine Reality: Love is Blind. Think a Bit When Giving Away your Heart.

How many times has a forever love broken yours heart? Something to think about as Valentine Day approaches. True love survives but only with nurturing.

#Quotes about how to keep love alive.

The inspiration for this post belongs to Dr. Mardy and his story of finding lasting love. After several heart breaks, a  failed marriage and subsequent divorce, he found a love thathas  lasted for nearly  25 years. But he also found that keeping love alive required lots of work.

Emotional Fitness Tips of the day: Remember what matters, be grateful for what you have been given, practice kindness, live now, and forgive all.

These are the most important Emotional Fitness Training Exercises and are more fully discussed in my newest eBook Cross Train Your Brain, Twelve Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises. This is free at the moment.

PRACTICE KINDNESS

Thank you for all you do.  Thank me by remembering sharing is caring; so is liking, or commenting on this post.

Your caring keeps me going.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

  1. Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (www.emotionalfitnesstraining.com
  2. An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents (amazon.com)
  3. The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
  4. Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
  5. Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)

 

What’s In a Name? Does Yours Fit You?

Caring parents put a lot of thought into names for their expected children. Fact: how the child feels about the name may not be what the parents planned on.

names-fi

Today’s Word Press Prompt  Say Your Name suggested this: Write about your first name: Are you named after someone or something? Are there any stories or associations attached to it? If you had the choice, would you rename yourself?

As a therapist and  the founder of Emotional Fitness Training, Inc. I ask people to tell me about their names.  Also, I  and long ago created the above What’s In Your Name Poster Coach before Word Press asked its questions.

Names, for better or worse, shape our identity and awareness of who we are or are not. The more self-awareness, the stronger our emotional intelligence.

Emotional Training Tips

Tip One: Answer the questions on the Poster Coach.

Tip Two: If you don’t know the story of how your parents chose your name, find it out if you can. I was named for my mother who wished she had been called Vaughan.  Moreover, there was also a family tradition of naming the first-born son for his father, so she morphed that into naming me for her.

Tip Three:  Rate your happiness with your name. 1 is hate it, 2 is it is okay, 3 happy with it.

Tip Four: If you hate it, try changing it. I switched from Vaughan to  Katherine when I started graduate school and no one knew me by Vaughan. That morphed into Kathy which wasn’t my preferred name. I say Kathy as a petite and cute blond, not a gangly, mousy-haired woman of just okay looks. But I was extremely happy to be rid of Vaughan, so Kathy was okay.  Eventually, I became Katherine professionally and mostly Kat among friends.

Tip Five: Changing your name is not always successful, and as the Poster Coach notes, I have learned to be called by many names and no longer mind. In fact, I even like Vaughan lots more than when I was growing up. What matters is liking yourself, not  what you are called. And I have aged into liking me. Hope you do the same.

Parenting tips

Tip One: Pick a child’s name carefully. My family picked a common first name and a family name as the middle name. That allow an easier choice if the child wanted to change what s/he was called in adulthood.My brother John was known as Hamilton in our family, but he made sure the rest of the world called him John.

Tip Two: Make sure the child knows why you picked their name.

Tip Three:  Make it clear a name is just a name and as Shakespeare noted, “A rose by any other name smells the same.”  That is the first step in protecting you child from the slings and arrows of name-calling.

SMART GOAL SETTING UPDATE

If you have been following my Goal Setting Posts, you know I am in the midst of trying to decide what to do with the rest of my life.  As I will be 80 next year, time significantly reduces long-term planning.

I want to leave some part of EFTI behind, when I cannot nurture it, The SMART goal exercise made me facc the fact that the best place to put my efforts was in publishing more eBooks and paperback books. I hope to get a new book out each month starting in March.

I have spent revising and formatting January my 12 Easy Exercise book in PDF format.  Here is the cover, and it will be published tonight or tomorrow. I will offer it as a free download for two weeks.

CROSS TRAIN COVER4

As I have worked on this one, I developed a template that makes rewriting or organizing books easier or so I am hoping.

February, I  plan to learn how to format my books for Smash Words and Amazon. March will be formatting a book for Create Space or a similar paperback producer. Wish me well.  the lottery all this would be easier, but as working on stuff like this keeps me feeling productive and useful, I am grateful. .

Winning  the lottery  would make all this easier, but as working on stuff like this keeps me feeling productive and useful, I am grateful.

I was also reminded to look at what I wanted life to be like. Family and friends matter most to me, in the long run, then comes EFTI.

What does this mean?  In terms of my blog, I am  posting less as I work harder on getting eBooks out.  I will work to post at least once a week and possibly more. I am tryin to figure out how to get a post up using some of my Poster Coaches in an hour or less.  If you have subscribed to my blog, you will get an update when I post.

PRACTICE KINDNESS

Thank you for all you do.  Thank me by remembering sharing is caring; so is liking, or commenting. Your caring keeps me going.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (www.emotionalfitnesstraining.com
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)