Daily Prompt: Invisibility. Shame makes us want to be invisible. Emotional fitness or what others call #EmotionalIntelligence, keeps shame in its place. First a little laugh then a bit about keeping shame in its place..
Moral of this cartoon, all people are invisible at some level and what is seen is only the tip of the person’s nose at the start of a relationship. The more we see of the person, the more we might wonder what we saw in them. But we also need to think about what we showed of who we were and why we were attracted. On to some thoughts about shame.
EMOTIONAL FITNESS Thoughts and tiPS ABOUT shame
Shame is a powerful emotion and primarily designed to keep us from doing the unforgivable. When shame failed Cain killed Abel. When shame fails, children are sexually molested, humans are enslaved, tortured, or murdered.
Shame is a useful emotion, but comes with a huge problem. Feelings, particularly strong ones, are nature’s way of promoting your survival or your species survival. So the need to feel some shame is important. But feelings are not good at determining what matters so every strong feeling sounds a 911 alarm whether and emergency exists of not. Shame does this big time.
I have talked a bit about my learning disabilities which are Dysgraphia and Dyscalculia. I read with speed, and understand what I read a bit better than the average Pooh Bear. However, I was the kid who stood at the blackboard trying to learn to correctly spell some words, punctuate, or solve some math problems while the other kids were romping on the playground. A major source of shame and trauma that repeats even as I creep toward my eighth decade.
This morning I was shamed when I opened yesterday’s post and found an error, not in the body of the post, but in the Poster Coach relating to the post. See if you can spot the error? Click here to see that post. Let me know if you spotted the error and be rewarded with my 12 Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises.
The error is not a huge error and probably missed by most, but discovering it set me cursing inwardly, made my cheeks redden, and my self-confidence dip. Just writing about it produces more of the same.
What to do when shame does this to you? It is a three step process:
Step one: Reality check? Am I doing something unforgivable? Probably in the eyes of the super hero and heroines of the grammar world, but nowhere else. Most people won’t see the error and those that do will not equate it with child abuse or murder of anything but the English Language.
Step two: OMM. For those of you not in the Emotional Fitness Training know that means One Minute Meditation. Here is the poster coach related to OMMing.
And you can get that one at the EFTI Store. DOWNLOADED IT FREE THROUGH DECEMBER 7, 2013. As far as I can see it is error free. All posters posted on my blog can be obtained at the EFTI Store. Many are free.
To use as a Poster Coach to strengthen your Emotional Intelligence, post it where you will see it often throughout the day. Today’s reminds you to practice OMMing. Back to defeating shame.
Step three: Continue to do what shame thinks you should not do. As long as you are not harming anyone ignore shame. Not easy, but I am so passionate about sharing knowledge, particularly about emotional fitness, I put the shame aside and share. It hurts when I stumble, but hurts more when I let shame push me around for then I give up my dreams.
Remember shame is only useful in keeping you from harming others. Otherwise, smile as often as you can, be grateful, practice kindness, share and care what you find helps you get and stay emotionally strong. I hope if you will find my posts of value, you will practice internet kindness liking, rating, or sharing.
Thank you for all you do and as always work to stay strong, not always easy, but worth while.
Links and articles of interest
- Shame (en.wikipedia.org)
- The Daily Prompt
- Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
- Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (emotionalfitnesstraining.com)
- The EFTI Store (eftistore.com)