Be With Beauty Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring – An Emotional Fitness Exercise

Picture and quote about beauty

Emotional Fitness Thoughts

Be With Beauty is one of the 12 Daily Emotional Fitness Exercises.  Two things are involved.  The first? Learning to find beauty every where you go. The second? To be fully aware of beauty when you find it.

Tip one: Learn to see beauty everywhere.  Beauty surrounds us, but whether we see it is  a matter of focus.

In the above poster coach, the gold, the sand, the sea are traditionally seen as beauty.  A slimy, salt encrusted, seaweed dripping piece of drift wood is by some as thing of beauty, by others not.

Focus on one grain of sand? Not likely to be viewed as beautiful. See it  viewed through under a microscope and a new spectrum of beauty opens up.

When beauty is not readily visible, usually it is most helpful to narrow your  focus. You can When beauty is not immediately visible narrow your focus. Find a picture in a museum unappealing? Focus on what you do find appealing. Perhaps that is a color, the way a line swirls, or a form takes shape.

Tip two: Cultivate the ability to be fully aware of beauty when you find it. All EFT’s exercises are most effective when practiced with full awareness.  Full awareness is achieved by using the One Minute Meditation or  OMM as you do the exercise. How to OMM for full awareness:

  1. Take  Calming Breath by breathing in slowly, holding your breath for a count of five, then breathe out slowly.
  2. Breathe normally.
  3. Focus  on the exercise.
  4. When your mind begins to wander, take another Calming Breath and refocus or end the exercise by taking another Calming Breathe, smiling gently and saying “Thank You.”

Tip three: Practice is a must.  K. Anders Ericsson the worlds leading expert on skill building  says it takes 10,000 hours of practice to develop the skills needed to become an expert or star performer in every field.

That may sound like bad news, but only if you are reaching for an Olympic Gold Medal or to debut at Carnegie Hall.  Being with Beauty requires much less practice. Still some is needed which is why this exercise as with all Emotional Fitness Training Exercises can be practiced in less than a minute.

One word of caution, as you begin to learn to Be With Beauty, practice mainly when you are reasonably calm. As your skill using this exercise builds, you can use it as a soothing exercise, but trying that too soon defeats its soothing power.

Tip four: Surround yourself with beauty. Practicing Being With Beauty is mega-easy when you surround yourself with what you find beautiful. At my desk I have a lovely seashell, some flowers, and on the wall a picture I love for the beauty I see when I glance at it. When stress builds or I want a quick mini break, I can be with one of these.

Tip five: Use a practice reminder.  EFT’s Poster Coaches are designed to be printed up and posted where you will see them and be reminded to practice. Add another practice reminder to the Poster Coach. When your phone rings, or during commercials.

Tip six: When you go out into the real world look for beauty and breathe it in and always remember to be grateful.  

Visit my Be With Beauty Pinterest Board. If you want to be a Be With Beauty photographer, let me know at emotfit@live.com and I will send you details about how to share your Being With Beauty pictures with others.

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting also keep matter as your caring keeps me going.

Katherine

This post was inspired by the Word Press  Daily Post Prompt “Summer”

I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.  You can do the same.

Not sure  how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has led others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

How To Stop Aimless Wandering That Gets You No Where

Quotes about missions

Wandering? wondering? Not happy with you or your life? Time to check your mission, set some SMART goals, and move on. Once you know who you want to be and where you want to go, then wander a bit, but only then.

Emotional Fitness Training Tips

Tip one: Take time to think about how you want to be remembered when you are no longer in this world.  Live to make that happen.

Tip two: Remember all the research shows and sages of the ages know that what matters and what leads to the good life is being kind, sharing what you have, and being grateful for all you have been given. That is my mission and I am proud of it.

Tip three: Learn more about Missions and Goals? Instead of getting a Latte, download my eBook, Know Your Mission So You Can Reach Your Goals. The $2.99 you spend will do you more good longer than a latte.

Tip four: Like to wander? Wandering teaches lessons. So include some wander time in your goals.

Tip five: Face reality. Life brings pain and joy, sadness and happiness to all but not equally; many suffer much and others little.  The stronger your self-soothing skills, to better you can move forward when life beats down on you.  Go here to learn four easy Self-soothing Skills. 

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting also keep matter as your caring keeps me going.

Katherine

This post was inspired by the traumatic shooting in Orlando, but also fits in with Word Press’  Daily Post Prompt “Aimless”

I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.  You can do the same.

Not sure  how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has led others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

Seeking Perfection? Try Good Enough Instead

How to practice imperfect.Perfection is probably not possible; moreover totally un-necessary as you wonder through life.

Here’s a question that some will see as heresy? God made us in his image and made us far from perfect; does that mean God also only strives for perfection?

My thoughts? Perfection is an end point and leaves no room for growth or change. Perhaps God is perfect and wanted human kind to know the wonder of growth or change. If so, I am grateful.

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting also keep matter as your caring keeps me going.

Katherine

This post was inspired by the traumatic shooting in Orlando, but also fits in with Word Press’  Daily Post Prompt “Perfection”

I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.  You can do the same.

Not sure  how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has led others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

How to Find Beauty in City or Forest

Picture and quote about finding beauty

Be With Beauty is one of the 12 Daily Emotional Fitness Exercises. The challenge is to find beauty where you are. Some find fear in the forest, others in the city. Early experiences working their way with you. Finding beauty diminishes the power of early fears.

Emotional Fitness Tip

Tip one: Whether in the forest or the city, finding  beauty is a matter of perspective and training your eye; for as Thich Nah Hahn notes, “If we look deeply at the rose, we see the garbage; if we look deeply at the garbage, we see the rose.”

Tip two: Finding beauty is the first step, Being With Beauty is the second. That means taking a calming breathe by breathing in slowly, holding you breathe for a moment, then breathing out and breathing normally by focusing on the bit of beauty you have found. When you are ready to move on, take another calming breathe; as you breathe out, smile and say “Thank You.”

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting also keep matter as your caring keeps me going.

Katherine

This post was inspired by the traumatic shooting in Orlando, but also fits in with Word Press’  Daily Post Prompt “ City”

I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.  You can do the same.

Not sure  how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has led others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

Trauma Changes You – Open Yourself to the Change and Grow

Quotes about change

Recovery from trauma means the ability to move on leaving hate and despair behind. How can you do that? Look for the lessons, remember what happens, embrace the good that remains.

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting also keep matter as your caring keeps me going.

Katherine

This post was inspired by the traumatic shooting in Orlando, but also fits in with Word Press’  Daily Post Prompt “ Open”

I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.  You can do the same.

Not sure  how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has led others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

How To Deal With The Feelings Created By Trauma – Six Plus Tips

Lits of feelings.Feelings are signals and strong feelings come when trauma visits.  At the time of the trauma the strongest are  fear, pain, and helplessness. However, numbness also visits during trauma, and is necessary to endure the fear, pain and helplessness.

Continuing numbness, however, slows recovery.   Emotional health involves experiencing a wide range of feelings.   The following  tips will help you move beyond pain, fear, helplessness, and numbness.

Emotional Fitness Training Tips

Tip one: Accept every feeling as natural and necessary. 

Tip  two: Expect confusion and conflict. Happy to have survived, shamed at being happy; safe and scared; compassionate and angry; forgiving and revengeful, weak and strong.

 Tip three: Manage all feelings wisely. Here’s how:

EFTskill summary

Tip four: Know when more is needed. Here’s a quick look at the major signs that suggest you are  suffering from a trauma reaction that needs mental health treatment:

  1. You have difficulty sleeping or have nightmares.
  2. You have flashbacks – feeling like you are back at the trauma in full force.
  3. You are always fearful or feel in danger.
  4. You cannot trust others.
  5. You feel numb most of the time.
  6. Your often sad  and sometimes think of ending your life.
  7. You have angry outbursts, physically hurt or even kill others.
  8. You experience little contentment or happiness.
  9. You think you might be going crazy.
  10. You feel physical ill or weak: have low energy, stomach complaints, or dizzy spells where you feel you might faint.
  11. You do not expect to have a happy or future or even to live long.
  12. Sometimes, particularly during flashbacks,  you hear or see things that other people do not.

Tip five: Know where to go for help.  Start with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline ‘1-800-273-TALK (8255) . The operators are trained to help you figure out what you need and can tell you have to go about getting help.  You need not be suicidal. If not say, you are struggling and do not want to get to the point of killing yourself.

Tip six: Find the help that is right for you.  The quality of help varies, trauma treatment often starts with debriefings, but should eventually move on helping you sort out thoughts, changes in your belief system, and strengthening your coping skills. Just going over and over the trauma and the feelings it created is not useful

First and before you start talking to a therapist use the SMART goal format to set your goal. My book Know Your Mission So You Can Reach Your Goals tells you how. A briefer introduction can be found on this blog post.

Then use this form to evaluate each session.

Therapy rating session

No therapist should object to setting a SMART Goal or evaluating sessions. Some may not be familiar with doing so, but all should be willing to learn.

Decide after six sessions if you are making progress.  The higher your score, the more useful the therapy.

Thank You for All You Do

If the therapist does not want you to evaluate your sessions, seek a new one. If that is not possible, keep the form yourself.

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting also keep matter as your caring keeps me going.

Katherine

This post was inspired by the traumatic shooting in Orlando, but also fits in with Word Press’  Daily Post Prompt “Natural.”  I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.  You can do the same.

Not sure  how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has led others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

When Trauma Visits the Struggle Begins

Inforgram on surviving trauma

I made the above Infogram to give people a quick understanding of trauma and its after effects.  I am somewhat of an expert in dealing with trauma for I lived and worked in New York City before, during, and after the Twin Towers fell. I was the mental health director of mobile crisis teams whose main purpose was to keep people from committing suicide or murder. My teams worked primarily with families and children.

Our team was also located in the most poverty ridden and violent sections of the South Bronx. I have lectured here and abroad about what is needed to combat the ill effects of trauma.

Emotional Fitness Tips

Tip one; Read the above. Knowledge is power.

Tip two: Understand that trauma starts  pumping two chemicals  designed to keep you safe into your body. First you are numbed so you can endure the fear and pain.  Secondly, your adrenaline is increased into so you are strong enough to fight or flee.

Danger exists in this action because the numbness interferes with clear thinking and you might fight when it would be better to run or run when it might be better to fight. Even taking a few moments  to think before acting keeps you safer.

Tip three: You might suffer from the trauma even when the traumatizing event is long past. Severe traumas change your brain  so that you are both more numbed to danger and at the same time more likely to act without thinking when the danger overcomes the numbing. The mental health experts call that Post Traumatic  Stress Syndrome

Tip four: The stronger you are emotionally, the more you are buffered against the long-lasting effect of trauma. Why I developed Emotional Fitness Training and its Twelve Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises.  Get in the habit of practicing them daily.

12 Easy Emotional Fitness Exerciises

Think of buy this book Twelve Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises for more information about these exercises. The book makes a good gift for anyone stressed or dealing with trauma. It costs less than a latte and has a longer lasting impact.

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting also keep matter as your caring keeps me going.

Katherine

This post was inspired by the traumatic shooting in Ordando, but also fits in with Word Press’  Daily Post Prompt “Struggle” for letting me pontificate. I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.  You can do the same.

Not sure about how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has led others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)