Fill Life’s Journey With Small Pleasures.

Quotes about small pleasures
          Soon you be able to go here to buy any of our Poster Coaches or other products

As has been noted by many, it is the journey matters more than the destination. One way to enhance yours is to practice Emotional Fitness Training’s Be With Beauty Exercise as you journey. Here it is:

First, find beauty anywhere. As the sage Confucius  noted, “Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.”

One trick, when beauty is not immediately visible,  is to narrow your focus. Find a picture in a museum unappealing? Focus on what you do find appealing. Perhaps that is a color, the way a line swirls, or a form takes shape.

When you find beauty, take a slow calming breath,  hold while you enjoy the beauty for a moment, then breathe out while smiling and sayng a silent “Thank You.”

Also surround  yourself with what you find beautiful so you can practice this exercise off and on throughout the day. Use pictures, beautiful music, flowers, sea shells or even rocks to create beauty spots wherever you sit.

Visit my Be With Beauty Pinterest Board. If you want to be a Be With Beauty photographer, let me know at emotfit@live.com and I will send you details about how to share your Being With Beauty pictures with others.

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting is practicing kindness and kindness keeps me going

Katherine

This post was inspired by the Word Press  Daily Post Prompt  Journey

I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.

Not sure  how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has  taken others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (www.emotionalfitnesstraining.com
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

Family, Friend, Guest, or Enemy?

quotes about guests

We are guests in this world and in each others lives.  Home is often where we behave more like enemies than family or friends. Not good. Perhaps if we treat our family members like honored guests we would bring peace on earth.

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting is practicing kindness and kindness keeps me going

Katherine

This post was inspired by the Word Press  Daily Post Prompt  Cowardice

I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.

Not sure  how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has  taken others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (www.emotionalfitnesstraining.com
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

Turn Cowardice into Courage – Tips

Quotes about cowardice

We the people are designed to go with the flow, to get along, to say nothing if we cannot say it nicely.  Good advice must of the time, but not always.

Emotional Fitness Tips

Tip one: Remember what matters. Standing up to hate and violence. Practicing kindness, being generous, sharing and caring. 

Tip two: Stay safe. Rashness, as Cervantes notes, is not courage, but the denial of danger.  

Tip three: Defeat fear with small steps. Each day do three small things that take you out of your comfort zone. Want some examples? If you are shy, say hello to a stranger. Afraid of going against the flow? Post something unpopular on your Facebook page. Some one telling a mean joke? Frown instead of laughing.

Strong self soothing skills help defeat fear. Buy my eBook Self-Soothing to Create Calm in Your Life. Soothes more than a latte, costs less, and lasts longer.

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting is practicing kindness and kindness keeps me going

Katherine

This post was inspired by the Word Press  Daily Post Prompt  Cowardice

I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.

Not sure  how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has  taken others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (www.emotionalfitnesstraining.com
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

False Expectations Appearing Real – Six Tips To Get Real

violence

The roots of violence are deep and tangled, but mostly grounded in pain. We survive pain by fighting, fleeing, or enduring.  Pain can be physical or emotional. False expectations create emotional pain. When the following  facts are not recognized false expectations grow.

  1. Life is not fair. Good people often suffer and bad people reap goodness from bad acts.
  2. We all suffer.
  3. Some suffer more than others.
  4. Minorities suffer more.
  5. The weak suffer more.
  6. The odd or different suffer more.
  7. The more privileged we are, the blinder we are to other people’s suffering.
  8. The more privileged we are the more we want to keep our privilege
  9. The more we suffer, the more we hurt; the more we hurt the more we crave revenge. Revenge feels good, but does no good.
  10. Step out of victim-hood. Victims blame others, to avoid taking responsibility; blame  fuels the flames of revenge.

Emotional Fitness Tips

Tip one: Be clear about what you do not control.  The “Just Do It” mantra says we control all. False. We do not control the weather, the gifts or deficits bestowed upon us by our genes, the culture that surrounds us, the traumas that come our way, or other people.

Tip two: Own what you do control. Mostly we control  our behavior.  Note the word mostly, because when we do not control our behavior it is usually a sign of immaturity – children have temper tantrums, adults should not; or mental illness.

Tip three: If your behavior finds you doing things you regret, gets you into trouble with the law,  or  hurting yourself or others, get help

Tip four:  When you feel like a victim, work harder to change what you can change without blaming others. You can only change you and that is hard enough.

Tip five: Practice Radical Acceptance. Make one of your mantras “It is what it is.”

Tip six: Remember what matters, be grateful for the good you have been given practice kindness.

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting is practicing kindness and kindness keeps me going

Katherine

This post was inspired by the Word Press  Daily Post Prompt  False and the shooting of police in Dallas.

I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.

Not sure  how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has  taken others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (www.emotionalfitnesstraining.com
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

Hello Darkness My Old Friend – Tips For Finding the Light

Storm cloud picture and three quotes about darkness.

Darkness comes and storms invade. The blacker the storm, the longer  it pounds down, the harder to stay strong and keep going.

Emotional Fitness Training Tips

Tip one: Name the storm.  To name is to tame, but you need to find a name that  conveys the specific nature of the storm. Broken Heart. Crushing Illness, Fired, and Death Visits are samples of names people have given the storms of their life.

Tip two: Measure the devastation. Just as earthquakes and hurricanes are measured, so life storms need to be rated. Being fired at twenty is not teh same as being fired at 50. A broken heart is not the same as a from a broken spine; the death of a beloved pet is not the same as the death of your only child.

Tip three: Remember what you have survived and call on the strengths that got your through past storms. 

Tip four: Look for the lessons. There are always lessons.  Even when you see no lesson, that  is a lesson. That lesson? You do not control all that happens to you or those you care about. Life is built on randomness which means good and bad things sometimes just happen.

As noted in Lives of a Cell by Lewis Thomas without randomness human life would not exist. Life would have stayed the green sludge found in stagnant ponds.

Use that fact to let go of self-blame when bad things happen or good things don’t. You have many choices, but not about all that happens.

Tip five: Do all the things your mother, best friend, and the doctors suggest doing to stay strong. Most of them are included in my Twelve Daily Emotional Fitness Exercises.  and that eBook costs less than a Starbucks Latte.

Tip six: Pick up the threads of your every day life as soon as you can. When hit by a major life storm, all normalcy gets blown away. You need to create a new normal. At the same time that begins with what was.

Start with what comforts you and work forward from there. One sign you are recovering is the ability to enjoy previous pleasures.

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting is practicing kindness and kindness keeps me going

Katherine

This post was inspired by the Word Press  Daily Post Prompt  Darkness

I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.

Not sure  how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has  taken others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (www.emotionalfitnesstraining.com
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

Forbidden Acts And Forgiveness

Quotes about what is forbidden

While  luxuriating in the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were told to enjoy everything except for one forbidden fruit. That fruit hung on the Tree of Knowledge . When they  did the forbidden, the knowledge gained was of evil and with that knowledge came temptation.

Of course, that is only one of many efforts to explain evil and to establish morality for the world. Jerome Kagan and Sharon Lamb in exploring the development of morality in small children, noted that all cultures wanted two things:

  1. Care  of the weak and elderly
  2. Justice meaning treating all fairly

So why is the world in such bad shape?  Because these two hallmarks of morality have been diluted by tribalism and the drawing circles about who is to be treated with care and fairness.

When times were more primitive, fear of the outsider was a survivor tool. Early survivor tools linger in our instinctual responses. Moreover, such tools can and have been used by many to gain power.

Religions are not necessarily interested in gaining power, but most want to gain converts many want to gain converts.  Why? The threat of opposing beliefs. Those who do not believe as you do, shake the foundations of your faith.

Christianity and Islam believe it is their duty to seek converts and thus save mankind from hell in the afterlife. Buddhists seek converts, but not with a believe or go to hell mentality.

Religions that do not encourage conversion include Hinduism, Jainism, Judaism, and Sikhism.

Here’s a side note. The only act the Jews believe their God will not forgive is  Killing in God’s name.  That means atheistic will be forgiven all their sins, not that it matters to them.

Sins are used by all religions to encourage what that religion sees as the moral life. Fear of punishment is a tool to force obedience.

Emotional Fitness Tips 

Guilt and shame are the reinforce-rs of moral behavior; both need critical thinking to distinguish the good from the bad.

Tip one:Make a list of the things that make you feel guilty or shamed.

Tip two: Cross off all sins but murder, physical abuse of others including animals, and theft.

Tip three: Reduce remaining guilt and shame by three steps:

  1. Forgiving yourself
  2. Making any amends that need to be made.
  3. Using strong self-soothing skills so useless guilt and shame have less hold on you.

One final thought. Many religions make thoughts the equivalent of actions. So if you “Lust in your heart” as Jimmie Carter says he did, he sinned. Think critically, for there is a huge difference between thoughts and actions.

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting is practicing kindness and kindness keeps me going

Katherine

This post was inspired by the Word Press  Daily Post Prompt  Forbidden.

I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.

Not sure  how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has  taken others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (www.emotionalfitnesstraining.com
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

The Many Layers of Truth

layers of truth

Truth is a many layered thing. What to do?

Emotional Fitness Tips

Tip one: Doubt what you most passionately believe in. Embrace the idea that passion twists the truth.

Tip two: Doubt the passionate beliefs of others. Again, passion twist truth.

Tip three: Doubt and at the same time look for the truths that partner with passion.

Tip four: Strive to improve your ability to think critically.  Critical thinking is a skill and can be improved. A quick and easy way to improve this skill is to watch TV ads with skepticism. How do they entice you to buy or watch? How do they try to speak to your passions?

Tip five: Speak the truth as you know it, but qualify your truths  as  beliefs or opinions.  It is better to speak the truth as you know it than to deceive others by false fronts or politically correctness.

True friends, worthy acquaintances are honest and can share what they see about you even when it makes you uncomfortable.

Tip six: Remember what matters: Do your best to make the world a better place for all. Fighting over beliefs, faith, and opinions promotes division and divisiveness is not the way to peace on earth. At the same time being silent in the face of obvious evil promotes evil.

How to judge something as evil? The sages and researchers agree: Do not do to others what you do not want done to you; treat others as you want to be treated.

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting is practicing kindness and kindness keeps me going

Katherine

This post was inspired by the Word Press  Daily Post Prompt “Layers”

I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.

Not sure  how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has  taken others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (www.emotionalfitnesstraining.com
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)