Become Obsessed With Kindness

As Aldous Huxley put it, “It’s a little embarrassing that after 45 years of research & study, the best advice I can give people is to be a little kinder to each other.”

Reminder of what matters

Emotional Fitness Tip

Experiment.  This weekend add five acts of kindness to your to do list. These need not be elaborate acts.  Moreover, small acts often matter most to people.  Here are some suggestions.

  1. Smile and say “Good morning” to everyone you pass on the street.
  2. Hand out compliments to total strangers.
  3. Always thank any one who does something for you.
  4.  Say please if you are asking someone to do something.
  5. Pack an extra sandwich in your lunch, or buy an extra cup of coffee, and give it to a homeless person.
  6. Give up your seat to someone in greater need on a bus or train.
  7. Send postcards to the children in your family.
  8. Call a friend or relative you haven’t spoken to in a few months.
  9. If someone is struggling, for example a parent trying to get a child’s stroller  up some stairs, help.  If someone has an arm load of packages and drops one, pick it up for them.  If a child is having a temper tantrum, sympathize with how hard it is to be a parent.
  10. Offer to pick up groceries for someone who is housebound.

Now here’s the big trick, attitude matters. Do any of the above, grudgingly and you will not get good from being kind.  You want to genuinely connect.  Not easy but possible.  Try each of the suggestions to find those that work for you.

STAYING EMOTIONALLY FIT

Another Emotional Fitness Training Exercise is called Indulge.  This one calls for being kind to yourself by indulging in a healthy pleasure.  Food tops the list for many, a power nap works for me, and yes, chocolate.   I suggest at least one indulgence daily, but actually the more healthy indulgences the better.  Keeps us strong for getting to our goals and furthering our mission.

For more about finding your mission, you know I want you to buy my newest eBook.  Know your Mission So You Can Reach Your Goals, has been published on Amazon as an eBook.  This is possibly the most important book I have written. I hope you buy it; it is life-changing.  moreover, as I keep noting, it costs less than some of your favorite things – a Big Mac, for example and will nourish your soul, not just your body.

I don’t often make promises, but I do promise if you buy this one, read, and follow the path I’ve laid down, you will live the good life – you will not always be happy, but you know contentment and peace with who you are. 

Thank You For All You Do

Thank me by remembering sharing is caring; so is liking, or commenting. Your caring keeps me going.

Also, if you did not find it helpful, comment and tell me what might have made it more useful.

Katherine

This post was inspired by this WordPress Daily Prompt  Obsession  

Go here to learn more about the Daily Prompts.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

 

How To Avoid the Dangers of Surface Thinking? Six Tips

Examples of fallacies or twisted thinking.

First or surface thoughts are almost always driven by primitive survival needs; moreover, the stronger the feeling, the more it calls for you to act without thought. Acting without thought is encouraged by those who tell you to “Follow Your Heart.” Okay in many situations, but if you end up doing things you regret, hurting others unintentionally, or getting in trouble with the law, you need to think more deeply, be for acting.

Emotional Fitness Tips

Tip one:  Make a list of those times you get in trouble because you act too quickly or without thinking a bit.  Do not forget the times good feelings lead you astray.  

Tip two: Look for the feelings behind strong feelings that create trouble for you. Four feelings are at the root of most feelings

  1. Pleasure
  2. Pain
  3. Fear of pain
  4. Uncertainty which is often fear of pain, particularly of  psychological pain such as a loss of self-esteem or a challenge to cherished beliefs.

Tip three: Beef up your self soothing skills so you can think  first and then act, more wisely and  instead of reacting in ways you regret. EFTI’s eBook Self-Soothing To Create Calm In Your Life is a best buy at under $3.00 and more calming than a latte.

Tip four: Beef up your awareness of how thoughts get twisted.  Start by thinking more deeply when someone is trying to sell you something; that something could be a new car, who to vote for, or when to have another drink.

Tip five: The experts agree, acting wisely in the face of a strong feeling is best done by doing the opposite of what the feeling suggests. Anger wants you to fight; making peace is wiser. Fear wants you to run, standing up to fear is wiser; Pleasure wants more; moderation and less is wiser. Pain seeks release, useful but thoughtful release is best, not mindlessly downing another pain pill.

Tip six: As always, Remember what matters. 

Thank You For All You Do

Thank me by remembering sharing is caring; so is liking, or commenting. Your caring keeps me going.

Also, if you did not find it helpful, comment and tell me what might have made it more useful.

Katherine

This post was inspired by this WordPress Daily Prompt  Surface  

Go here to learn more about the Daily Prompts.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

 

“Maybe” Thinking Equals Better Relationships

Quotes about opinion vs facts

Emotional Fitness Tips

Tip one: Most of what you think you know you is a matter of opinion, not fact.   

Yes, there are what some call “Brute facts.” These, however, are not necessarily scientific truths. Think of the solid paths we walk across  without thought:  floors, cement, hard packed dirt, rocky cliffs. What seems solid might be anything and could in a second cast you down, cover you with lava, or pull you into a pit of sand.

Tip two: Spend sometime training yourself to think “Maybe.”

Maybe I’m wrong.

Maybe s/he’s right.

Maybe ii is a matter of opinion.

Maybe it is both true and false.

Maybe we can come together on one thing of another.

Maybe we can look for agreement not argument.

Tip Three: Maybe its a Gotcha War.

A Gotcha War is not about right or wrong, but who can make the other person seem crazier. Gotcha War

Tip four: Become a No-Gotcha Warrior

How to win a Gotcha War with a teen

Tip five: Beef up your self soothing skills so you can think, act, instead of reacting in ways you regret. EFTI’s eBook Self-Soothing To Create Calm In Your Life is a best buy at under $3.00 and more calming than a latte.

Tip six: Remember that the stronger your opinion, the more likely it is opinion, a maybe,  and not a fact. 

Thank You For All You Do

Thank me by remembering sharing is caring; so is liking, or commenting. Your caring keeps me going.

Also, if you did not find it helpful, comment and tell me what might have made it more useful.

Katherine

This post was inspired by this WordPress Daily Prompt  Maybe  

Go here to learn more about the Daily Prompts.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)