How To Give Wisely and Strengthen Emotional Intelligence

ASL for giving

With Thanksgiving over and the push to buy, buy, for the coming of Christmas, this blog post focuses on  how to keep the joy of giving alive.  I was happy to step back from Christmas giving when I became a Jew. All too often, Christmas had left me poor financially and did not seem to make most of the people I gave gifts to happy.

That said, Practicing Kindness is a major Emotional Fitness Exercise and that is done by being giving.

Emotional Fitness Tips

Tip one: Give all the ways you can.  Giving can be as small as a smile and a complement particularly bestowed upon a stranger. It can be giving a cup of coffee to a homeless person, encouraging a child to keep trying, dropping some coins in the Salvation Army’s Kettle, volunteering in soup kitchens, tipping generously.

And yes, there are bigger ways: shopping at local stores, hiring independent repair people, gifting money to friends in need – the gift can be as a loan or a gift with the hope it will be passed along when things get better for the friend.

Tip two: Give money  to charities, but with awareness of that charities ranking.  Check up any charity you are considering with the following organizations: Charity Watch, Charity Navigator, or simply Google the charity by name. I did that for CAIRS, the Council on American Islamic Relations. Council on American-Islamic Relations  and thought by some to support terrorists.

Tip three:  Know what matters most to you. This means knowing your mission. Practicing kindness is mine. Not sure of yours? Get my eBook, Know Your Mission So You Can Reach Your Goals.  Buy it now for $3.o1. Cheaper than a latte and will do you far more good.

Thank you for all you do

Remember to share all you find of value on the internet.  All who post crave recognition. A like says “Thank You.” Comments say you have read and thought about the post. Sharing is a gift to three people: the blogger, the people you share with, and you for your kindness blesses you.

Stay strong, it takes some effort for life can be a painful struggle.

Katherine

Post Inspiration: This post was inspired  by the WordPress Daily  Prompt: Faded

Go here to learn more about the Daily Prompts.

Links of Interest

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Disclaimer two: Take all advice even mine, carefully.  Don’t just listen to your heart, but also think; don’t just think, listen to your heart.  Heart and head working together increase the odds you will find useful advice amid all the promises and hopes pushed at you be others.  As others have noted, take what seems useful, leave the rest.

Disclaimer two: Forgive my grammatical errors

If  you need perfect posts, you will not find them  here;  I will understand if you don’t follow, like or share what  like me.  Not only am I dealing with an aging brain, but all of my life I have been plagued by dysgraphia–a learning disability,  Some of my posts might be peppered with bad spelling, poor punctuation, and worse words that make no sense.  If  you want to hang in with me, thank you; you are kind. If a post doesn’t make sense or bugs you too much, stop reading, I will understand.

 

Act Wisely As You Protest Political Actions

How to act wisely on political issues

These are things I was taught way back when in Media High School. long before Civic’s Classes were  eliminated. As much a travesty as eliminating Art and Music.

The heart of Emotional Fitness Training is to act wisely on negative feelings. Doing any of the above is acting wisely. Ongoing hand wringing, condemnation of the opposition, and talking or acting violently are not wise tools for bringing about political change.

Emotional Fitness Exercise

Actually, if angst, fear, or sorrow continue to be your main response to recent political events, the second step in the Poster Coach needs to be your first step. Acting wisely, is not possible in the midst of angst and other strong feelings.

EFT’s One Minute Meditation (The OMM) is the gateway to calmness. Here is a brief recap:

  1. Breathe in slowly to a count of five.
  2. Hold your breath for a count of five.
  3. Breathe out slowly to another count of five.
  4. Breathe normally and simply observe how it feels to breathe in and out.
  5. If thoughts make their presence known,  observe them and continue breathing; the same with feelings.
  6. At the end of a minute, sooner if you want, take a deep breath in, hold it for a count of five.
  7. As you breathe out, say a silent “Ahhhhhh” or “Thank you” and smile softly.
  8. To strengthen its effect as a calming tool, after the first breath, add a two or three word calming mantra as you continue breathe in and out.  “Life goes on” works for some,   “Staying strong” for others/ Crafting your own often works best.

The  OMM needs mega amounts of practice to become useful in moments of acute stress. That was the thought behind its creation.

One of the ironies of teaching it as part of my many trainings and workshops was that people later complained that it wasn’t helpful when they needed it.

I asked those who complained, “How much did you practice it daily?”

Their replies, silence. blushing, or an honest,  “Not much.”

So if just learning it practiced  lots when calm, then bring it out against small stresses, keep practicing and in time it will help calm mega angst.

Thank you for all you do

Remember to share all you find of value on the internet.  All who post crave recognition. A like says “Thank You.” Comments say you have read and thought about the post. Sharing is a gift to three people: the blogger, the people you share with, and you for your kindness blesses you.

Katherine

Post Inspiration: This post was not inspired  by the WordPress Daily  Prompt: Culture, but resonates with it as our political beliefs are partly cultural.

Go here to learn more about the Daily Prompts.

Links of Interest

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Disclaimer two: Take all advice even mine, carefully.  Don’t just listen to your heart, but also think; don’t just think, listen to your heart.  Heart and head working together increase the odds you will find useful advice amid all the promises and hopes pushed at you be others.  As others have noted, take what seems useful, leave the rest.

Disclaimer three: Forgive my grammatical errors

If  you need perfect posts, you will not find them  here;  I will understand if you don’t follow, like or share what  like me.  Not only am I dealing with an aging brain, but all of my life I have been plagued by dysgraphia–a learning disability,  Some of my posts might be peppered with bad spelling, poor punctuation, and worse words that make no sense.  If  you want to hang in with me, thank you; you are kind. If a post doesn’t make sense or bugs you too much, stop reading, I will understand.

Generalizations Cloud Reality – An Exercise to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

Six blind men felt up an elephant and described what  they  personally felt this.

An generalization image

Commonly known as the False or Hasty Generalization, Lonely Fact Fallacy or  Statistics of Small Numbers, the blind men drew their conclusions based on a partial sampling of the whole. When you draw a conclusion based on a small sample you are distorting reality.

We all generalize, and as Mark Twain said, “All generalizations are false, including this one.”

We need to generalize and are programmed to do so. We put things in categories just as we put socks in one drawer and undershirts or bras in another; milk in the refrigerator and bread in the bread box. Makes life and decision-making easier.

Also makes for prejudicial thinking. Here’s a personal example. When I was five I was punched in the stomach by a ten or twelve-year-old redhead. I didn’t know why and didn’t know the kid who punched me. But it certainly influenced my thoughts about red-heads for a number years. Had a few more punched me out, I might have been set against red heads for life. Not useful.

Let me tell you another personal story. For a number of years I lived and worked in all white Vermont. I rarely saw a person of color. Then on a trip home I got off the train in midtown Philadelphia and headed for the subway. When the doors opened the car was packed with people of a dark color. My heart stopped briefly, but I realized my moment of fear was truly a False Expectations Appearing Real and climbed in kept on my way home.

Both stories explain a bit about prejudices. The bulk arise in situations like my early encounter with the red-headed bully.

A BITTER FACT: Personal experiences tend to make you identify with those who seem to be suffering a similar hurt. Think of the killing of a student protester at Kent State. Students seeing that image will be horrified.  Stories of rape or even groping will horrify rape victims.  Dissed by a cop and you will be disposed to think of cops as bullies.

The second source of prejudice arises from our genetic programming to be wary of strangers. The known is much safer than the unknown.Which is why those seeking to build tolerance suggest getting to know those who are not like you.

Combine the two and prejudices grow.  There is however, a third factor. Our personal experiences and beliefs are strengthened by the voices of authority surrounding us as we grow. We either identify with those voices or stand against them.

Emotional Fitness Exercise

First: List your prejudices. Love Hillary? Hate Trump? Love Your Religion? Hate those who believe other wise? An Atheist opposed to all religions? Live in an all white neighborhood and don’t want its coloring to change? Think Black Lives Matter? All Italians are Mafia owned? Southerners Rednecks? Northerners Yankees? All Blacks are lazy? All Whites Black oppressing? Love Cops? Understand Criminals? Think Cuba is great? The USA terrible?

Next: Sort out what personal experiences are involved in your prejudices: How many bad experiences have you had.

Then: think about which of your prejudices  are based on not knowing many people of the kind you distrust or do not interact with.

Then: Note which of your prejudices are reinforced by the people in your family, the friends you seek, the news you watch, the generally culture surrounding you.

Finally: Pick on prejudice and work to reduce it. Just knowing the roots helps, but also exposing yourself to beliefs that run counter to yours and doing so with an open mind is required to rid your heart of false generalizations about people.

Thank you for all you do

Remember to share all you find of value on the internet.  All who post crave recognition. A like says “Thank You.” Comments say you have read and thought about the post. Sharing is a gift to three people: the blogger, the people you share with, and you for your kindness blesses you.

Katherine

Links of Interest

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Be With Wild Things

Being with nature

Image by Steve Blankenship  via Colorado Photography

Emotional Fitness Exercise

Take a minute to breathe in this picture and to reflect on the quote. Nature teaches. Nature can be peaceful. Nature can be violent. Enjoying the peaceful strengthens you to better endure the violent times of your life.

Thank you for all you do

Remember to share all you find of value on the internet.  All who post crave recognition. A like says “Thank You.” Comments say you have read and thought about the post. Sharing is a gift to three people: the blogger, the people you share with, and you for your kindness blesses you.

Katherine

Links of Interest

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.