Tag Archives: Emotional Fitness Training Inc.

5 Tips for Making Wishes Come True

“If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.”  as my mother often said. I hated hearing that, but she was giving me an important reality check.

Quotes about wishes

Wishing does not make it so, but wishing has it uses. Mainly it gives us hope. As the last quote states however, you need to do two things to make your wishes come true.

Emotional Fitness Training Tips

 Emotional Fitness Training tip one: Turn your wishes into SMART goals.

How to set SMART Goals

For more help with setting goals buy my eBook Know Your Mission So You Can Reach Your Goals.  It costs$3.01 and that is  less than a movie. Moreover I think you will agree has longer lasting value.

Emotional Fitness Training tip two: No matter how busy you are work toward your SMART goal six days a week.  Try to give at least an hour toward your goal, but fifteen minutes is better than none.  Read The War of Art by Steven Pressfield for inspiration.

Why six days and not all seven? We all need one day off from work even when trying to get reach our most heart-felt goal.

Emotional Fitness Training tip three: Do not let perfectionism hold you back. I have let that happen. Not helpful. Best to put something out there and perfect it as you go along.

Emotional Fitness Training tip four: Expect failure along the way. Keep going, but also at some point remember as I have found out, :”When a goal is not met, the wrong goal was set.”

Emotional Fitness Training tip five: Remember what matters. 

PARENTING ADVICE

Until a child is in the second or third grade and has learned to read, he who she tends to think wishing makes it so. That is part of the magic of childhood and adults encourage it.

Better to accept what the child believes, but to at the same time, label wishes and hopes and not all come true. The same with Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairy. Fun but not real. Your child’s pleasure will not be diminished, but when s/he does begin to doubt such things, you will not be seen as having lied. Moreover, you have been helping him or her code reality better. .

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Please Practice Kindness by sharing all you find of value on the internet including this post.  All crave recognition. A like says “Thank You.”Comments say you have read and thought about the post.Sharing is a gift to three people: the blogger, the people you share with, and you for your kindness bless you.Stay strong, it is not always easy.

Katherine

This post was inspired by a WordPress Daily Prompt – Three Coins in the Fountain. Have you ever tossed a coin or two into a fountain and made a wish? Did it come true?

Yes, sometimes, no other times.

LINKS OF INTERESTThese links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Tips for Combatting Prejudice – Yours and Others

I look out of my window, I see a dark skinned man wearing a hoodie looking back at me. Trouble? No he is just making a cell phone call and staring mindlessly in my direction.  But yes, I did know a moment’s fear.

#Quotes about prejudice

EMOTIONAL FITNESS THOUGHTS

When we label one person as a member of a group we are being prejudiced.Whenever you place one person in a group, you are making a generalization and that is prejudice. As defined by the social psychologists, “Prejudice is an unjustified or incorrect attitude (usually negative) towards an individual based solely on the individual’s membership of a social group.”

I am not saying labels don’t have some value, but I like labels to be seen mainly on files, and even then only if the label reflects what the file actually contains. I don’t think I am alone in the world when it comes to finding my files often contain items totally at odds with the label on the outside of the folder.

What has gotten me thinking about this? The recent political debates, but also a WordPress Post asking me what I saw when I looked out my window. The introduction to this post is what I saw.

Actually, this is a post I had started many weeks ago as a response to the fact that most conversations seemed to end up putting labels on one person or another.  This includes conversations heard or seen at the movies, on the TV, heard on the radio,  read on various email lists, discussed  over lunch or dinner with friends, and in daily conversations with my husband.

In a number of these conversations those who strongly disagree with me call me Baby-killer, Christian Conservative, Islama-phobic Jew, Racist, Nigger Lover, Radical, Bigoted Hillbilly, Reactionary, Pacifist, Conservative, Stupid, Card Carrying Republican, Card Carrying Democrat, Tea Party Girl Patriot, Member of the Moral Majority, Slut, Sinner, Communist, A Goody Two Shoes, Bleeding Heart and Ignoramus.

Contrarian would fit me best, for in most conversations I knee jerk defend whoever is being attacked. You will not be surprised to know that one of my mother’s nicknames for me was “Mary, Mary Quite Contrary.”

WHAT CAUSES PREJUDICE

At the heart of all this labeling is the ancient brain’s fear when faced with the contradictory or unknown;  want an easily understood and predictable world. To have a sense that is the real world, our brain loves categories.

As children we tend to believe “what is is normal.” It takes the expanding mind of the adolescent to begin thinking that was is “normal” actually might not be what should be. This probably is as much a factor in the turmoil that some adolescents experience, as the confusion created by raging of hormones.

Moreover, the more another’s beliefs contradict something held dear to your heart, the more your world of beliefs de-stabilizes. Your whole internal world shakes when you start to doubt your beliefs.

Jerome Kagan, Harvard researcher, says uncertainty distresses us particularly uncertainty about our strongly held beliefs. He also notes that one way to get rid of the distress is to blame the person making us uncertain. We get angry instead of frightened. For many anger feels better than fear.

We handle fear of the unknown by clinging to the known. That explains why many of us gather in our own tribes and clans and  avoid getting to know those in other tribes.

At our primitive brain level we are all prejudiced. What varies, or which prejudice operates most strongly, is what we  learn and that often depends on what our parents or others in our surroundings teach.

The fact that the content of our prejudices is learned is cause for hope. Learned behaviors can be unlearned. We owe it to our children and all children to take active steps to unlearn our conscious and unconscious prejudices. Here are some tips for reducing the prejudices that try to control or boss you.

Emotional Fitness Training Tips

Tip one: Know the beliefs dearest to your heart. These are the ones that will probably lead to anger or righteous indignation on your part. I’ll admit, it works that way for me. Knowing that at least keeps me somewhat more open to trying to understand another person’s point of view.

Tip two: Open your eyes a bit to the less savory elements of your heart-cherished beliefs. Rather than responding with an either/or approach, try thinking yes/and …  Yes, religion is useful for teaching some values but religion can also be a tool for feeling morally superior to others. Yes, the United States can behave just as badly as many tyrannies, and the United States also is more religiously tolerant and more devoted to freedom of expression than those same tyrannies.

Tip three: Speak out against obvious prejudices. You will not always be heard but some will think more about what matters

Tip four: Practice kindness in your everyday interactions with every one you meet.

HERE ARE SOME ADDITIONAL TIPS FROM THE SOUTHERN POVERTY’S LAW CENTER Web page

Their belief is that the main way to fight prejudice is to increase your personal knowledge of other people and cultures. Here are some of their suggestions for doing that:

  1. Attend services at a variety of churches, synagogues, mosques and temples to learn about different faiths.
  2. Shop at ethnic grocery stores and specialty markets. Get to know the owners. Ask about their family histories.
  3. Learn sign language.
  4. Make it a point to break bread with a member of another ethnic group.
  5. Attend a play, listen to music, or go to a dance performance by artists whose race or ethnicity is different from your own.
  6. .Take a conversation course in another language preferably one that is spoken in your community.

There is a personal benefit to be gained by following any of these tips. You will reducethe stress of uncertainty  and you might make a new friend or two.

PARENTING ADVICE

Too many openly or quietly teach hatred. Do not join them. All children need a safer and more tolerant world to become the best s/he can be. Hatred diminishes all.

If you practice the tips above, you will be teaching them to your children.  As they age talk more openly about prejudice and how it can boss us.Finally, take them with you when you follow the Southern Policy Center’s Tips.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Please Practice Kindness by sharing all you find of value on the internet including this post.  All here crave recognition.A like says “Thank You.”Comments say you have read and thought about the post.Sharing is a gift to three people: the blogger, the people you share with, and you for your kindness bless you.Stay strong, it is not always easy.

Katherine

 LINKS OF INTERESTThese links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

3 Tips for Being You – A Matter of Style

Are you a slave to fashion? Do the retailers love you? Or are you you? What’s your uniform.

Quotes about style

I was something of a freak during my adolescence. Mainly because my growth spurt took me to 5′ 11″ and 1/2 inches by the time I entered sixth grade. Moreover I was skinnier than Twiggy at a day and age when Marilyn Monroe was the fashion Icon. I towered over all the boys and a few of the male teachers. Not pleasant.

When I complained to my mother about being asked repeatedly “How’s the weather up there?” she told me to “Spit in their eye and tell them its raining.”

She knew I was too shy and well mannered to do  that, but it did become my inner voice’s response to such remarks. Helped lots.

Emotional Fitness Training Thoughts and Tips

We all wear uniforms. Even the poorest of the poor have one, not one of their own making, but of poverty’s making. Why is this? Because we are social creatures. Also because we have a deep-seated need to be who we are. But another reason is that we rank each other.

Ranking ourselves would be fine if we ranked our behavior more than our outer trappings.  But that tends to get lost in the fashions proclaiming our riches or our status. Think Kings and Popes, Queens and Generals. Crowns, Metals, and Jewel.

What to do?

Emotional Fitness Tip one: Remember What Matters. What matters is always how you treat others for that is the reflection of who you really are. Practice kindness.

Emotional Fitness Tip two: Be Grateful for All You Have Been Given. You are truly among the privileged class if you can afford to follow fashion. Two thoughts.

The first: Do it in your own way and because it speaks to you and not just the fad of the day.

The second: Do it within your means. Lots of money? Do not be a bargain hunter. The people who work in the fashion industry need you to buy at the highest possible price.

On a limited income: Go for the discounts, the consignment shops, the thrift stores.  That is where I do more and more of my shopping.

Emotional Fitness Tip three: Practice imperfection. My hair is now a lovely silver, but that did mean enduring a period of mousiness when the brown was turning gray.

Coehol's story of Narcissus

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Please Practice Kindness by sharing all you find of value on the internet including this post.  All here crave recognition.

A like says “Thank You.”

Comments say you have read and thought about the post.

Sharing is a gift to three people: the blogger, the people you share with, and you for your kindness bless you.

Stay strong, it is not always easy.

Katherine

This post was inspired by this   Word Press Daily Post Prompt:  Style Icon -Describe your personal style, however you’d like to interpret that — your clothing style, your communication style, your hair style, your eating style, anything.

Too varied to describe, but then that does bespeak my style. Natural in the sense of no make-up, no dying my hair, and no plastic surgery. Prefer jeans or pants to dresses, tops that show a bit of bosom but worn with a shirt of some sort to camouflage e my weight. See I do have my vanities. I also dress for the occasion so have a number of modest shirts and tops to wear to shul or other places requiring a bit of modesty.

I have a friend, I admire most for her uniform is very simple and very much her. Always black shirt, black pants or skirts. Always the same timeless style.  I try for that, but David dear wants more color and more variety and has an aversion to all black.  Takes me back to Nina Garcia’s quote. Here are a more.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

 

An Oppportunity to “Make Money Doing Good”

HELP WANTED: Need someone with advanced technical skills to take over the computer related part of Emotional Fitness Training as a profit-sharing venture.

EQ instagrom intro to efti

Would need to be knowledgeable with Word Press programming and skills as well as the ability to turn  eBooks into regular books via Create Space. Photoshop and marketing skills a plus.  All work would be paid for via profit-sharing.

I would like to work with a stay at home parent whose children are now entering school so the mother or father can begin to think about building a business they can operate from their computer, The person must be  financially secure enough to trade an immediate salary for future gains.

Contact me at emotfit@live.com to explore this further.

Not sure about what you want and where you are going? A bit interested in my offer. You might want to spend 2.99 for  this eBook to get a feeling for Emotional Fitness Training’s philosophy and way of working, but also to get clearer on what you want and how to get there.

MissionAndGoalsCover4

Available at Amazon and currently  costs 2.99 which is less than a lotte.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Please Practice Kindness by sharing all you find of value on the internet including this post. In general, a like says “Thank You;” a comment says you have read and thought about the post; sharing is a gift to three people: the blogger, the people you share with, and you for your kindness bless you.

In regards to this post, do share it with any stay-at-home parent with the kind of computer skills noted above who  wants to have a programming career.

Thank you.

Katherine

This post was not inspired by this WordPress Daily Prompt:  ______ is the new ______ Click over to your favorite blog, and pick out the 4th and 14th words (that aren’t “the” or “an”). Drop them into this phrase: “_____ is the new _____.” There’s your post title. Now write!

Here is what the title would read if aligned with this prompt.

Profit sharing is the new hope for building EFTI’s  legacy.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.