Tag Archives: Emotional Fitness Training Inc.

One Quick Way to Get Through Life’s Down Times

Life throws lots of stuff your way, this post is about getting past the small stuff, but will also help you survive life blows. An example? Day-dreaming.

chickenesc

Thank you friend Doug Savage for permission to use your Savage Chicken Cartoons in my posts.

Day dreams are like mini-vacations. Of course, as with almost everything, indulging constantly n day dreaming could get you fired, or if done while driving killed.

Laughs are another way to improve a bad moment. Which is why I follow, befriend cartoonists  and share laughs.

The point, however, is that to get through the mosquitoes and even the bee stings of life requires strong self-soothing skills and lots of different ones.   Why my Ebook   Self-Soothing to Create Calm in Your Life.   sells more than many of the others. The $2.99 price probably helps a bit.  Don’t have a Kindle. No problem. See the links at the bottom of the posts in order to  learn  get Amazon’s free application for reading their books without a Kindle.

Okay, commercial over on with the exercise. Start reviewing this EFTI  poster coach.

101 self soothing list

 

My advice: Do more of what works and try a few new ways.

Remember, not all stuff is small stuff. Moreover, the bigger or more ongoing “stuff” in your life the more support you will need and often good therapy is the answer; sometimes you might even need a bit of medication to stop sweating and getting on with life.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Remember sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Didn’t like it?  Comment and tell me why and how to improve.

Thank you.

Katherine

Links of Interest

HOW TO FIND THE GOOD LIFE BY PRACTICING IMPERFECTION

EMOTIONAL FITNESS training TIPS

Emotional fitness tip one: Practice imperfection. Think good enough, when obsessed with getting anything a bit more perfect.  Use “Good enough” as a mantra.

Emotional fitness tip two: Rate how near enough is good enough.  Here’s the Rating Scale poster.

Rating scale poster

Emotional fitness tip three: Improve your ability to see when perfectionism is playing a part in your life.  Challenge delusions of perfection on the media and in real life.  Look for twisted thinking in all media.  Look for people seeking perfection and say gently, “Good enough seem best in this situation” or something to that effect.

Emotional fitness tip four:  Continue to pursue the best you can be. We need goals and ideals are part of setting a goal. However, all goals must be based on a realistic picture of your abilities. If you sing off tune, you will not become the next Voice or American Idol.

Emotional fitness tip five: Focus on your life’s mission rather than the everyday goals that might not matter in the long run. Think about buying my ebook How to Know Your Mission So You Can Reach Your Goals. It will cost you $2.99 which is less than a latte and a bit more important in living the good life.

Parenting advice

Delusions of perfection are particularly painful because it taps into childhood’s reservoir of shame. According to  Jerome Kagan, human development specialist, children struggle with shame as they enter the threes. That is when children realize while  powerless over some things, they are quite capable of doing the unthinkable over younger or weaker beings.

For a three-year old the unthinkable is the desire to do away with the people who keep you from doing what you want.  The only ones you have power over at that age are younger siblings and small animals.  Kagan points out a strong counter emotion is needed to keep from acting on violent impulses which is why shame emerges at this particular age and stage.

Also at that age any failure to do something perfectly creates shame, not being good enough.  Shame is all about having to be perfect and fearing other people’s response when you are imperfect.

First parenting tip: Say “Good try” twice as often as you say “Try harder.”

Second parenting tip: If you child is engaged in competitive sports, counter The Winning is everything mentality with “Having fun is winning even when you lose.”

Third parenting tip: Teach rating scales early on.

Fourth parenting tip: With those moving into the changing thoughts of adolescence engage in conversations about what matters, sweating the small stuff.

Fifth parenting tip:  Children of all ages can be caught up in perfectionism.  Be alert to the possibility a child perfectionism is leading to the mental health disorder called  OCD. Here is a handout, I used when teaching a Challenging Children Course.

OCD quidelines

This is an information guide, if you are worried, about a child talk to a competent mental health professional, share this handout with him or her.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Remember sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Didn’t like it?  Comment and tell me why and how to improve.

Thank you.

Katherine

POST INSPIRATION from this Word Press Daily Post Prompt: Idyllic – what does your ideal community look like? How is it organized, and how is community life structured? What values does the community share?

Obviously, I want an imperfect but good enough community that practices tolerance and is kind to all. Stay strong all and remember what matters.

 LINKS OF INTEREST

How To Beat The Everyday Blues

Daily life is like the weather: full of highs and lows, sunny days and rainy days, blizzards and hurricanes. Weathering life’s storms is a learned skill.

Tips for finding contentment

FOR THOSE NEW TO EMOTIONAL FITNESS

New to Emotional Fitness Exercises?  Start with these four easy ones. But also read the following. Emotional Fitness Training’s exercises are neither therapy,  the Ten Commandments, nor miracles that fall in your lap against all odds.

EFTI’s exercises are research based power walks to add strength to your emotional intelligence. Some exercises  and tips work for some people, but not all.

As is said in many similar  programs “It works if you work it.”  That means just doing it. When it doesn’t work more is needed. More might mean, less stress, better goals, more support and outside help.

Try an EFTI program for six weeks.  Life cannot always be good, but it should be good or okay most days; when it is not, get help. Add support and that might mean  therapy or medication. You deserve to be the to star in your life and that is possible for all.

PARENTING ADVICE

Visit my Parents Are People Too Blog for advice to help you and your child live good lives.  As I learned as a foster parent and director of mental health crisis teams, in NYCity before, during, and after 9/11, if you cannot handle your emotions, you cannot expect others, particularly children to handle theirs.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Remember sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Didn’t like it?  Comment and tell me why and how to improve.

Thank you.

Katherine

POST INSPIRATION not from this Daily Posts Prompt but fits with it. Coming To a Bookshelf Near You: Write a summary of the book you’ve always wanted to write for the back cover of its dust jacket.

I’ve written lots of books. What I really want said on the next one? Another best seller by Katherine Gordy Levine. Realistic advice that rivals Oprah, Dr. Phil, and all other self-help gurus.

Following the daily prompts and seeing how they fit a post I am writing, is one of my personal emotional fitness exercises. Makes me think a bit and that is always good exercise particularly for an aging brain. Often I write the post first, but sometimes I start with the prompt.

LINKS OF INTEREST

FIGHTING FOR TRUTH AND JUSTICE? THINK ABOUT THIS

If the news of the day was still going out in smoke signals, truth and justice would still be in the hands of the powerful, but there is progress. Do you agree?
Truth and justice

QUICK EMOTIONAL FITNESS TRAINING TIP

Don’t give up the fight, but don’t slip over the line that divides seeking good for all from revenge. When one is hurt, our hearts and feelings command us to fight back or run away.  There is a middle ground: staying safe and working in every way in your power to right the wrong of oppression any way you can.

Parenting tip: Teach your children both manners and the basics of self-defense. Here is the best self-defense approach for doing both:  Peace DoJo International. And a quote:

 “A Peace Dojo engages in rigorous and deliberate training practices to develop the capacity for skillful, healing action and the courage of heart needed to face the fear and violence in oneself and in the world.”

If you live in the New York City area seek out Bill Leicht 212-228-0980 for information about programs near you. Most are reasonably priced and scholarships are available.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Remember sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Thank you.

Katherine

POST INSPIRATION not from this Daily Posts PromptCurrent events and the war between good and evil engendered there in. However,  I did make it fit a bit in the following:

Here is the prompt:   Your Life, the Book:From a famous writer or celebrity, to a WordPress.com blogger or someone close to you — who would you like to be your biographer?

My blogging is my auto biography and as for a celebrity to take it on as a biography? Well, Oprah was the first name that came to mind. I was on her show once as an expert in the audience and she brought me down.

View the video and watch her body language. She was not happy with me although I think my advice was good and we are more alligned then not. But she was worried about her image. Here right, and I do understand that. So she need not do a book, maybe just comment nicely on my obituary.  That would be my version of Restorative Justice

Restorative Justice is a movement that started in South Africa.  Here is a quote about the problem of justice which is world wide.

Over-representation of minorities in the criminal justice system is a problem around the world. It raises questions about the fairness of the justice system itself and of how larger social justice problems influence the justice system.

Other LINKS OF INTEREST