Tag Archives: Emotional fitness

How To Beat The Everyday Blues

Daily life is like the weather: full of highs and lows, sunny days and rainy days, blizzards and hurricanes. Weathering life’s storms is a learned skill.

Tips for finding contentment


New to Emotional Fitness Exercises?  Start with these four easy ones. But also read the following. Emotional Fitness Training’s exercises are neither therapy,  the Ten Commandments, nor miracles that fall in your lap against all odds.

EFTI’s exercises are research based power walks to add strength to your emotional intelligence. Some exercises  and tips work for some people, but not all.

As is said in many similar  programs “It works if you work it.”  That means just doing it. When it doesn’t work more is needed. More might mean, less stress, better goals, more support and outside help.

Try an EFTI program for six weeks.  Life cannot always be good, but it should be good or okay most days; when it is not, get help. Add support and that might mean  therapy or medication. You deserve to be the to star in your life and that is possible for all.


Visit my Parents Are People Too Blog for advice to help you and your child live good lives.  As I learned as a foster parent and director of mental health crisis teams, in NYCity before, during, and after 9/11, if you cannot handle your emotions, you cannot expect others, particularly children to handle theirs.


Remember sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Didn’t like it?  Comment and tell me why and how to improve.

Thank you.


POST INSPIRATION not from this Daily Posts Prompt but fits with it. Coming To a Bookshelf Near You: Write a summary of the book you’ve always wanted to write for the back cover of its dust jacket.

I’ve written lots of books. What I really want said on the next one? Another best seller by Katherine Gordy Levine. Realistic advice that rivals Oprah, Dr. Phil, and all other self-help gurus.

Following the daily prompts and seeing how they fit a post I am writing, is one of my personal emotional fitness exercises. Makes me think a bit and that is always good exercise particularly for an aging brain. Often I write the post first, but sometimes I start with the prompt.



If the news of the day was still going out in smoke signals, truth and justice would still be in the hands of the powerful, but there is progress. Do you agree?
Truth and justice


Don’t give up the fight, but don’t slip over the line that divides seeking good for all from revenge. When one is hurt, our hearts and feelings command us to fight back or run away.  There is a middle ground: staying safe and working in every way in your power to right the wrong of oppression any way you can.

Parenting tip: Teach your children both manners and the basics of self-defense. Here is the best self-defense approach for doing both:  Peace DoJo International. And a quote:

 “A Peace Dojo engages in rigorous and deliberate training practices to develop the capacity for skillful, healing action and the courage of heart needed to face the fear and violence in oneself and in the world.”

If you live in the New York City area seek out Bill Leicht 212-228-0980 for information about programs near you. Most are reasonably priced and scholarships are available.


Remember sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Thank you.


POST INSPIRATION not from this Daily Posts PromptCurrent events and the war between good and evil engendered there in. However,  I did make it fit a bit in the following:

Here is the prompt:   Your Life, the Book:From a famous writer or celebrity, to a WordPress.com blogger or someone close to you — who would you like to be your biographer?

My blogging is my auto biography and as for a celebrity to take it on as a biography? Well, Oprah was the first name that came to mind. I was on her show once as an expert in the audience and she brought me down.

View the video and watch her body language. She was not happy with me although I think my advice was good and we are more alligned then not. But she was worried about her image. Here right, and I do understand that. So she need not do a book, maybe just comment nicely on my obituary.  That would be my version of Restorative Justice

Restorative Justice is a movement that started in South Africa.  Here is a quote about the problem of justice which is world wide.

Over-representation of minorities in the criminal justice system is a problem around the world. It raises questions about the fairness of the justice system itself and of how larger social justice problems influence the justice system.



How To Be A Victor, Not A Victim

Victims of things like earthquakes who pick up the shattered shards of their lives and go on are victors. Victors vacate the land of  Victimhood as soon as possible .









Emotional Fitness Thoughts and Tip

Victim is most broadly defined as …”a person who suffers from a destructive or injurious action,”   but the definition extends often to mean mostly when the suffering act is created by  another person.

Victimhood  most potent brew is mixed when the suffering comes because of the actions of more powerful others target members of a group suffering from the ills of poverty, racism, or religious persecution – witness  protests surrounding the police or solders whose efforts to serve and protect lead to the death of a civilian or many civilians.

When trying to thinking about victims, here another quote is worth thinking about; this one by   S. I. Hayakawa, “If you see in any given situation only what everybody else can see, you can be said to be so much a representative of your culture that you are a victim of it.”

Hayakawa is talking about herd mentality which starts by hanging around with those who think like you do and that begins with your parents and their friends, those in your neighborhood, and when you move into your teens or early adulthood your peer group.

Teens are young adults are those most easily pulled into “wilding behavior.”  Wilding originally meant a cultivated plant that escaped its gardener’s control.  Fits well with the efforts of teens and young adults to escape the confines of family.

Emotional fitness tip one: Question the crowd, particularly your crowd, and your crowd’s interpretation of events.  Jerome Kagan, Harvard researcher of renown believes one of the things who we identify with is an important factor in how we act. Kids identify with their parents, but teens and young adults identify with their peers.

Emotional fitness tip two: Understand the perks of victimhood. Here’s a list of those perks. control. How can being victim make people feel like they’re in control?

  1. Victims  get attention.
  2. Victims escape responsibility as blaming someone is lots easier than taking  responsibility for your actions; if you are not responsible, you do not  have to change.
  3. Victims’ feelings get validated.
  4. Victims get permission to act out rage and anger.

Emotional fitness tip three; Understand the heavy price tag that goes with victimhood.  Here is a list what the researches say are the negative consequences of victimhood:

  1. Low self-esteem
  2. The constant burden of anger and resentment
  3. Social problems including distrust and stunted life skill development
  4. Feelings of powerlessness
  5. Vulnerability to predators

Emotional Fitness tip four: Act instead of reacting and that means thinking about what matters.  Humanities genetic inheritance as evidence throughout all the generations works to keep us safe. That means when we have suffered some pain, the pain gets strongly embedded in our brains and if threatened with a similar pain we flee or fight. In other words we act on instinct and without thought. Not useful. Even a few minutes thought before running or fighting can be  life saving.

Emotional Fitness tip five: Live in the now. Victims live in the past and many in their ancestor’s past. Doing so all too often carries fear, anger, and hate forward. Practicing the following Emotional Fitness Traning Exercises strengthens the ability to do so: Remembering What Matters and Practicing Forgiveness.


Parenting tip one:   Be alert to complaining – yours, your child’s, any and everyone else’s. Complaing promotes victimhood.

Parenting tip two:  Remember to value of rating.  When someone is hurt ask how hurt.

Parenting tip three; Boost self-soothing skills, you but particularly your childs. 

Parenting tip four: Give little attention to memories of past hurts. If the child brings such a hurt up, ask “What did that teach you?” or say, “That was then, this is now.”

Parenting tip five:  Teach you child right behavior early on. Four rules do it: Respect self, respect others, respect property, obey reasonable rules.  

Parenting tip six:  Promote thoughtful action to right wrongs. Rioting is not a thoughtful action. Peaceful protests are. Make sure your child knows the difference.


Remember sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Thank you.


POST INSPIRATION Came partly from this WordPress Daily Prompt: Fearful Symmetry: Pick a letter, any letter. Now, write a story, poem, or post in which every line starts with that letter.

I managed some symmetry, but not much. Life goes on.



I Will Be Back Next WeeK: Testing

Still feeling  like the lion and fox in this Savage Chicken Cartoon. However, things are slowly moving forward and will be posting again come next Tuesday.

lion and fox

Using this as a test post. You may have seen a similar one last week. Meanwhile Word Press Happiness Engineers have been hard at work help me transfer my old account to a business account.

Why have I done this? Two reasons. Hoping to make it easier for my readers to download Poster Coaches, Quick Start Programs, and my E-books.  Some will continue to be free, but I will be charging for most. Which is the second reason for using a business account. I don’t want or need much money, but I would like to get EFTI out of the red so it will live when I can no longer keep it going. Hope lives eternally.

t least I can still laugh.  When you cannot laugh about something, you need more help than I can give. The stress of trying to get my blog problems straightened out remains minor in terms of the things that really matter, but I am finding it harder and harder to laugh so here  some Emotional Fitness Tips for  me:

  1. Follow your own advice. OMM, Remember what matters. Try some Sloganeering. Do what self-soothes you best.
  2. Walk away.
  3. Laugh and play.
  4. Nap.
  5. Try again.
  6. Ask for help.
  7. Scream and shout
  8. Try chocolate.
  9. Try wine.
  10. Throw something.
  11. Repeat all of the above.
  12. Give up and stop blogging.

So I hope this reaches you.