Tag Archives: Fitness

3 Tips for Being You – A Matter of Style

Are you a slave to fashion? Do the retailers love you? Or are you you? What’s your uniform.

Quotes about style

I was something of a freak during my adolescence. Mainly because my growth spurt took me to 5′ 11″ and 1/2 inches by the time I entered sixth grade. Moreover I was skinnier than Twiggy at a day and age when Marilyn Monroe was the fashion Icon. I towered over all the boys and a few of the male teachers. Not pleasant.

When I complained to my mother about being asked repeatedly “How’s the weather up there?” she told me to “Spit in their eye and tell them its raining.”

She knew I was too shy and well mannered to do  that, but it did become my inner voice’s response to such remarks. Helped lots.

Emotional Fitness Training Thoughts and Tips

We all wear uniforms. Even the poorest of the poor have one, not one of their own making, but of poverty’s making. Why is this? Because we are social creatures. Also because we have a deep-seated need to be who we are. But another reason is that we rank each other.

Ranking ourselves would be fine if we ranked our behavior more than our outer trappings.  But that tends to get lost in the fashions proclaiming our riches or our status. Think Kings and Popes, Queens and Generals. Crowns, Metals, and Jewel.

What to do?

Emotional Fitness Tip one: Remember What Matters. What matters is always how you treat others for that is the reflection of who you really are. Practice kindness.

Emotional Fitness Tip two: Be Grateful for All You Have Been Given. You are truly among the privileged class if you can afford to follow fashion. Two thoughts.

The first: Do it in your own way and because it speaks to you and not just the fad of the day.

The second: Do it within your means. Lots of money? Do not be a bargain hunter. The people who work in the fashion industry need you to buy at the highest possible price.

On a limited income: Go for the discounts, the consignment shops, the thrift stores.  That is where I do more and more of my shopping.

Emotional Fitness Tip three: Practice imperfection. My hair is now a lovely silver, but that did mean enduring a period of mousiness when the brown was turning gray.

Coehol's story of Narcissus

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Please Practice Kindness by sharing all you find of value on the internet including this post.  All here crave recognition.

A like says “Thank You.”

Comments say you have read and thought about the post.

Sharing is a gift to three people: the blogger, the people you share with, and you for your kindness bless you.

Stay strong, it is not always easy.

Katherine

This post was inspired by this   Word Press Daily Post Prompt:  Style Icon -Describe your personal style, however you’d like to interpret that — your clothing style, your communication style, your hair style, your eating style, anything.

Too varied to describe, but then that does bespeak my style. Natural in the sense of no make-up, no dying my hair, and no plastic surgery. Prefer jeans or pants to dresses, tops that show a bit of bosom but worn with a shirt of some sort to camouflage e my weight. See I do have my vanities. I also dress for the occasion so have a number of modest shirts and tops to wear to shul or other places requiring a bit of modesty.

I have a friend, I admire most for her uniform is very simple and very much her. Always black shirt, black pants or skirts. Always the same timeless style.  I try for that, but David dear wants more color and more variety and has an aversion to all black.  Takes me back to Nina Garcia’s quote. Here are a more.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

 

How to Use Memories to Stay Strong

Memories serve to keep us safe. As Mark Twain noted no cat sits twice on a hot stove — that also means no cat sits on a cold stove.  More to think about:

Quotes about memories

Emotional Fitness Training is designed to keep negative feelings from controlling. Memories trigger feelings, some good, some bad. Looking for the lessons  found  in your bad memories marks you as emotionally fit,  what others call Emotional Intelligence.

Memory books strengthening  your ability to find the lessons bad times bring. Here is a quick Emotional Fitness Training look at Memory Books.

WHO SHOULD MAKE A MEMORY BOOK?

Everyone and parents in particular.

If you are a parent, try to make a family memory book.  Start with creating your own book and encourage your child’s other parent to do the same. Build on those two as you create a Family Memory Book.

Some parents start their child’s memory book, but as soon as the child can, he or she should be part of creating his own memory book as well as contributing to the larger family memory book if one is being kept.

SOME EASY IDEAS TO GET STARTED

Start with a memory box. Use it to gather items that you think might  belong in a memory book (like party invitations, pictures, various reports, notes, etc).

Do not collect only happy memories. As Stephen Levine author of A Year to Live, noted “Simply touching a difficult memory with some slight willingness to heal begins to soften the holding and tension around it. (74)”

When going through a trauma put items in the box that can be used to make a memory page at some later date when the pain is less and you want to hold on to the good.

Establish a routine for making memory book pages.  Some devote one evening a month to sorting through the boxes and making one or two memory pages; others make it birthday, holiday, after a vacation or other special event activity

USING YOUR MEMORY BOOK TO STAY STRONG

 Review it off and on. When making a new page is a good time to flip through it quickly. Focus particularly on the good memories. Those are the ones you want to strengthen.

To so with full awareness.  That is done by meditating before and after the exercise.  Sound too difficult?  Not once you have learned and practiced  EFT’s One Minute Meditation.

Do not neglect bad times, particularly the  bad times  that have  you reeling and not able to do much but crawl ahead. While enduring a bad time try to call up a similar bad time you survived and hold it in your heart as tiy sat  “I am a survivor, and I will survive this.”

Once you can function a bit normally, write about this bad time and add it to your memory book. Doing so moves the healing forward.

However, do not dwell on the bad endlessly.  One of the problems with talk therapy is that it focuses often on just the bad stuff. Good for a time when the bad stuff first occurs.  Not good if not  used to learn lessons and reaffirm you strength and let you move on.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Please Practice Kindness by sharing all you find of value on the internet including this post.  All here crave recognition.

A like says “Thank You.”

Comments say you have read and thought about the post.

Sharing is a gift to three people: the blogger, the people you share with, and you for your kindness bless you.

Stay strong, it is not always easy.

Katherine

This post was inspired by this WordPress Daily Prompt: Memory on the Menu by Ben Huberman Which good memories are better — the recent and vivid ones, or those that time has covered in a sweet haze?

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

 

 

5 Ways to Combat Loneliness

Loneliness is a fact of life. Visits all – sometimes when we are alone,:often when with another.  How much it hurts is mostly up to you.

Ways to make the most of loneliness

Many things accentuate loneliness. Just being alone lots; being the odd person out in any group;  and saddest for all, not being heard or understood, particularly by someone you love.

Myths and media add to  loneliness’ pain. Believing “The Happy Every After” myth dooms one to loneliness when the bad stuff intrudes as happens in all relationships. The happiest of married couples find this out when one of them dies. That may explain in part why 50% of  long married spouses die within six months of each other.

The media inflicts its pain by reinforcing:The Happy Ever After” myth as it hawks images of happy people,  laughing or playing with at least one other happy, laughing playing partner.

My lonely times started when I was seven and had to change schools. I was the first new girl in my class and not welcomed. In time, I found friends. then in my teens also found my one true love which lasted four years, but when it ended the pain seemed at first to be a for ever after one.

In time, I moved on to other loves,  but remained unmarried until in my early thirties. That made me “an odd one out” at a time when women’s primary goal was marriage and motherhood.

Marriage and motherhood brought joy and wonder. Marriage and motherhood also brought times of great loneliness.

Now I am growing more deal by the day . The  loneliness of not being heard as well as not hearing once again makes me the odd person out and lonely, particularly in crowds.

As Kate Locke, deaf from childhood, noted “Many people don’t realize just how difficult deafness can be.  It is a hidden disability, an isolating disability, because it is one of communication.”

She describes a situation I am coming to know all too well; she was a college student at the time:   “… one day I really thought I had a relevent and interesting comment to make about a topic we were discussing. So I put my hand up, said my bit, and there was silence. The lecturer looked at me in a funny way, and said: “I just said that.’I was so embarrassed. I never made another comment or participated in that class again.”

She also thought seriously of committing suicide during her college years. I urge you to read her blog The Isolation of Deafness and Considering Suicide. 

Whenever I open my mouth thinking I have heard what is going on, I am opening my heart to “funny looks.”  Even among those who I know love me most get a look that says I am the odd one out. In public many are polite, but the hurt remains and so I grow more silent every day.

The following tips, while not magic, help me.

Emotional Fitness Training Tip One: Examine your beliefs about loneliness, “The Happy Ever After Myth”  and what matters.  Doing so will reduce unrealistic expectations and keep you from “awfulizing” when lonely.

Psychologist Albert Ellis coined the term awfulizing. Awfulizing is a form of  twisted thinking that turns grains of sand into boulders blocking your path. Think of a teenager who won’t leave the house because of a pimple no one else notices.

I am not suggesting a Pollyanna solution. Loneliness is painful. Nonetheless, your thoughts, beliefs, and actions have the power to worsen or relieve that pain.

Emotional Fitness Training Tip Two: Have a life mission.  Mission statements are big in the business world, and where I first encountered them. However, once I thought about my personal mission, my life acquired a focus that gave  me a better sense of who I am, what I stand for, and how I want to be as a person.

As one poet  said, “I have to live with myself and so I want to be good for myself to know. ”

If you like who you are, being alone moderates loneliness.

Emotional Fitness Training Tip Three: Set SMART goals. Your mission defines who you are, but goals are the smaller way stations of life. SMART Goals are also a business tool, but again, one that works for individuals also.

How to set SMART Goals

Emotional Fitness Training Tip Four: Get a hobby, in fact get two.  Make one of your hobbies something that takes you totally out of yourself into another place or world. The hypnotists call this a trance state.  Reading page-turning books do this for me. A good novel or well crafted mystery and I am involved with the characters and, so for the moment,  forget all but the most horrendous of life pains.

Make the second of your hobbies, creating something. Obviously, blogging does that for me, but so does crocheting. Both give me a sense of purpose. Crocheting has an added value as it has a  meditative, soothing quality; and finally in time I end up with something concrete that I can take pleasure in having created.

Emotional Fitness Training Tip Five: Practice some Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises. In fact practice all Twelve.

12 Easy Emotional Fitness Exerciises

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Please Practice Kindness by sharing all you find of value on the internet.  It is easy and lifts the poster’s spirits. All here crave recognition.

A like says “Thank You.”

Comments say you have read and thought about the post.

Sharing is a gift to three people: the blogger, the people you share with, and you for your kindness bless you.

Stay strong, it is not always easy.

Katherine

This post was somewhat inspired by this WordPress Daily Prompt.  Futures Past – As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? How close or far are you from that vision? (Thank you, mirakraz and tori23, for inspiring this prompt!)

Not that I followed the post, but it did prompt my thinking about growing as a human being.  Here is a direct answer about  my first dream of what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was taken to the movie National Velvet when I was eight years old. From then on all I wanted to be was a jockey.

By the time I was 11 years old, I was 5’8″ and still growing. Despairing, I spent quite a few evenings sitting in bed after lights out, with a huge dictionary on my head, hoping to keep the inches from piling up. Hurt my neck and I gave up that dream.

Then I wanted to be writer, but had dyslexia and when college was done the only job I could get was as a Social Worker. Lucky me that was my true vocation.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

 

1 Mega Tip for Thinking More About What Matters –

Read this story and then think about what matters.

Rod Steiger Story

“We grow too soon old and too late smart” Dutch Proverb

A Mega Emotional Fitness Training Tip: The more you think you know, the more your heart pushes your beliefs, the more you need to think more about what matters; the more you must think and think and think again.  

As the sages of the ages often note, “Love is blind.” When love of anything has you following your heart and your desires thoughtlessly, you out of touch not just with what matters, but with reality.

Heart, intuition must be linked to thought in order for you to act wisely and safely.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Remember to share all you find of value on the internet.  All here crave recognition. A like says “Thank You.” Comments say you have read and thought about the post. Sharing is a gift to three people: the blogger, the people you share with, and you for your kindness bless you.

Katherine

This post was inspired by this Word Press Daily PromptS/he Said
by Michelle W. Pause whatever you’re doing, and ask the person nearest you what they’re thinking about (call someone if you have to). Write a post based on the results.

I moved on thinking I wouldn’t post today, but then read this story about Rod Steiger and there you are. Thank you Dr. Mardy’s Quotes for the story.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.