Tag Archives: Health

HOW TO BECOME A CRITICAL THINKER

Thich Nan Hahn tells us “The rose is in the garbage, the garbage is in the rose.” He wants us to think outside our usual either/or boxes.

Beauty rocks and roots (2)

EMotional Fitness Thoughts

The purpose of the Be With Beauty Exercise is to have you exercise the ability to find  beauty in uncommon places.   Beauty soothes, but finding it off the ordinary path strengthens you emotional intelligence.

As Thich Nah Hahn says whether you see beauty or ugliness depends on how you define or think about beauty. He disputes  the human  tendency to think in dualities, what is commonly called “Either/or thinking.”

Either. or thinking limits options. Mostly, you hold to past ideas.   Looking for beauty in garbage or rocks or roots, on a crowded subway. or in the squalor of a slum  pushes you to think beyond what you know and so  strengthens critical thinking.

Emotional fitness tip

Add one word to the end of yours or someone else’s thoughts is another easy way to expand everyone’s thoughts. That word? And.  Said as if asking a question , that one word usually leads the other person to

It can also be away of introducing a different idea. “And, I think a bit differently.”

Works far better than a “But” or a “No.”

PARENTING TIP

Using “The And Word” works great with kids. Kids, want to talk and want to feel you are listening. Using “The And Word” invites more conversation.

BLOG POSTING SCHEDULE CHANGE

Aging slows one down a bit. Another birthday is rolling around and I am greteful to still be able to blog.  Although I mght blog every day, but Shabbat, I am not only promising to get an EFTI blog out every Tuesday and Thursday. Wednesday will be a Parents Are People Too blog

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Remember’s sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness now is to share this post with someone who will find it inspiring.  Thank you.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

 FREE POSTER COACHES 

Like any coach, EFTI’s poster coaches inspire, teach, motivate, and reinforce thinking about what matters.  To use, print up in color and post there it will be seen often.  Poster Coaches can also be used at  Family Meetings to start a discussion about what matters.

DAILY PROMPT

32 Flavors Vanilla, chocolate, or something else entirely?

“The And Word” leads to more flavors and that is the subject of this blog post.  Cheerio.

 

CHOOSE KINDNESS AND YOU ALWAYS WIN

Life is hard and not matter how much we are given, we all know pain and struggle. Surviving those times is easier than you think.

vfrankel

Vickor Emil Frankl lost his wife, father, mother, and brother  during the Holocaust. He survived to became a major force in the development of  existential therapym  which stresses facing reality, but choosing what you can, and noting that the best choice is always kindness.  He  is most remembered for his book Man’s Search for Meaning, from Death Camp to Existentialism. 

Emotional Fitness exercise of the day

Practicing Kindness is one of the Twelve Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises. Make it your life’s mission and you will survive the worse. Do so, not for those you treat with kindness but for you.

Being kind to others almost always gets repaid with kindness.  Smile at someone and most of the time you will get a smile in return.  When you don’t, at least you have done the right thing.  Giving and getting kindness is essential to your health.

Parenting Tip

Kindness starts with respect for others and for children and that is the heart of good manners.  Manners can be taught as soon as your child starts walking and talking.

As Marion Wright Edelman, president and founder of the Children’s Defense Fund noted,  “Being considerate of others will take you and your children further in life than any college or professional degree.”

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Keep working to stay strong, I work hard to do the same . As noted above,  I am not perfect, no one is so see mistakes as an opportunity for learning.

Remember’s sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness right now is to share this post with someone who will find it inspiring.  Thank you.

Katherine

Links of interest

 FREE POSTER COACHES 

Like any coach, EFTI’s poster coaches inspire, teach, motivate, and reinforce thinking about what matters.  To use, print up in color and post there it will be seen often.  Poster Coaches can also be used at  Family Meetings to start a discussion about what matters.

DAILY PROMPT  Study Abroad  If you were asked to spend a year living in a different location, where would you choose and why?

Israel. Because I am a Jew. Because despite all the horrors of Jew hatred and the efforts to destroy Israel, Israel survives as a democratic. Because the heart of Jewish Law is to treat others as you want to be treated and that is the heart of practicing kindness.

 

 

DELUSIONS OF PERFECTION HOLDING YOU BACK?

What would you undertake if you know you would not fail?  More importantly how do you define failure? As perfection? Not good.

I was perfect, then I was born

Thank you doyletics.com  for this one.

Know when perfectionism has taken over.  Most often that happens to those with a diagnosis of OCD.  Here is a check list that says perfectionism is in charge.

OCD checklist

Emotional Fitness Training tip one: If this is you, do not let stigma keep your from getting professional help. Part of trying to be perfect means not thinking you need help, particularly professional help. Not helpful.

Emotional Fitness Training tip two: If you seek professional help, make sure you seek competent help. Not so easy.  For OCD you want someone who uses a cognitive behavior approach. You also want someone who is comfortable with medication and either can prescribe or is affiliated with someone who can.

Emotional Fitness Training tip three:  When dealing with any therapist, look for someone who has a feedback mechanism in place.

The best feedback at the moment comes for the International Center for Clinical Excellence.  Not many therapists use this group, however.  Another way to measure progress is to develop a SMART Goal for what you want from therapy and insist  the therapist will use that as a feedback mechanism.

PARENTING TIPS

Parenting tip one: Adopt the attitude that mistakes aid learning.

Parenting tip two: As there seems to be a strong genetic basis for perfectionism including OCD, if you are a perfectionist, your child might easily struggle with OCD.  At the same time, most children show some of the above signs.  The trick is always to decide how much perfectionism’s rules.

Parenting tip three: With a teen have him or her complete the above check list.  then discussion how the media seeks perfectionism.

 Parenting tip four: Use the media to discuss perfectionism’s down side. Making people feel less than perfect increases sales of many products.

Visit this  Parents Are People Blog Post for more tips.

IMPROVE YOUR CRITICAL THINKING

DAILY PROMPT – Too Big To Fail: Tell us about something you would attempt if you were guaranteed not to fail (and tell us why you haven’t tried it yet).

Need I say more than I have already said.

LINKS OF INTEREST

FREE POSTER COACHES 

Don’t think you can afford a life coach? Like a life coach, EFTI’s poster coaches inspire, teach, motivate, and reinforce thinking about what matters.  To use, print up in color and post there it will be seen often.  Poster Coaches can also be used at  Family Meetings to start a discussion about what matters.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Keep working to stay strong, I work hard to do the same . As noted above,  I am not perfect, no one is so see mistakes as an opportunity for learning.

Remember’s sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Thank you.

Katherine

HOW TO KNOW WHO REALLY CARES

You need caring people in your life to stay emotionally fit.  Do this EFTI Circle of Care Exercise to see who you can rely on for what. First some funny quotes.

Funny quotes about friendship

CIRCLE OF CARE EXERCISE

Everyone needs people in their lives willing to help when help is needed.  Some  have lots of people, some only a few, and very few feel no one is there for them. The people who are there fore you are best thought about as belonging in one of three Circles of Care

Here are the steps for figuring out your Circles of Care. 

1. Take a sheet of paper and draw three circles one inside the other like this:Use the whole sheet of paper.

Untitled

2. Fill out the circles according to the following ratings:

The first or inner circle is for extended supportive family members and friends.  These t can be counted on to be there with support and concrete help whenever and whatever support is needed that they can provide and to do so without hesitation.  Treasure these, they are few and far between.

The second circle is for those including family or close friends as well as neighbors, and  other people who offer support at a lower level than your inner circle. These might be friends who will always offer emotional support, but will not or cannot  lend you money or come to your rescue if your car broke down.

The third circle is for people involved with you because of an official role, and who the you feel are caring. Might include a teacher, the secretary in your doctor’s office, come of your doctors, coaches, bosses, co-workers, the cop on the beat, an auto mechanic.

Outside of the Circles are those people who cannot be trusted enough to go to help in any way. These include people from the family, the neighborhood, work, even your place of worship, and of course professionals you must interact with.

Why rate friends this way?  Because it keeps your expectations reality based.  On to the tips related to your Circle of Care:

Emotional Fitness tip one: You do not need a gang of people in your Inner Circle.  The mental health professionals think one or two are enough to keep you strong.  With the Second Circle the more the better.

Emotional Fitness tip two: Where did you put yourself? You need to make sure you care enough for yourself to be in your Inner Circle. No one else can do for you as much as you can do for yourself.

Emotional Fitness tip three:  Did you put God somewhere? For many God belongs in the Inner Circle. For agnostics in the Second Circle, for atheists not anywhere.  If atheist who do you rely on for spiritual and moral guidance.

Emotional Fitness tip four:  Some people put pets in their Inner Circle, they belong mostly in the Second Circle even  trained Service Dogs who  do take on some specific concrete tasks.

Emotional Fitness tip five: Treat all in your first two circles with kindness and care, doing so might even see one or two moving up to the inner circle.

Emotional Fitness tip six: The fewer people in the first two circles, the more you need to work to add some.  This might mean seeking therapy.  Shy and introverted people who have a hard time making friends would find Cognitive Behavioral Therapy useful. Another group of people who should think about therapy are the angry ones.  Therapy has a bad reputation, but a competent therapist is someone to add to your third circle of care.

PARENTING TIP

You are responsible for staying in your child’s inner circle of care, particularly during his or her growing up years.  This means patience, knowing how children feel and think, teaching manners, self-soothing exercises, practicing kindness, knowing what matters, and forgiveness of self and others.  Hard work, but worth the effort.

IMPROVE YOUR CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS

The heart of emotional intelligence is the ability to know what your heart tells you to do, but then partnering with your thinking skills so you make the best decision possible. I use Daily Prompts to help me think more critically.  Here’s today’s.

DAILY PROMPT  Circle of Five      A writer once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” If this is true, which five people would you like to spend your time with?

I had no idea what to blog about this morning.  Can you  see how this Daily Prompt lead to this post.

LINKS OF INTEREST

FREE POSTER COACHES 

Don’t think you can afford a life coach? Like a life coach, EFTI’s poster coaches inspire, teach, motivate, and reinforce thinking about what matters.  To use, print up in color and post there it will be seen often.  Poster Coaches can also be used at family, staff meetings, in classes to motivate or spark discussions.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Keep working to stay strong, I work hard to do the same. Like daily physical fitness keeps you strong, practicing some Emotional Fitness Training Exercises keeps you emotionally strong.

Remember’s sharing is caring and the easiest way to Practice Kindness (an easy Emotional Fitness Exercise is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Thank you.

Katherine