Tag Archives: Inspiration

3 Ways to Stay in Touch With What Matters

The media is on a relentless path to convince us things matter the most. Nonsense. People, all living creatures matter more than things.

Rules for the good life

The paths we all need to walk in order to bring peace on earth.

These are the things we need to teach all children. They form the basis for all the rules that matter.  Imagine if all followed them.

Emotional Fitness Training tips

Emotional Fitness Training tip one: practice this exercise daily. 

EFT stretch

We are part of a wonderous creation, that should keep us humble, but also make us proud for we are  connected to all  the grandeur that is.

Moreover, it should also connect us to the need for imperfection.  Thomas Lewis in his Lives of the Cell  makes the point that our DNA, the building blocks of who we are are designed to mutate – change. Without that power there would be no world as we know it. All would be rocks, water, green sludge. But because DNA mutates, apparently on its own, there are mistakes, wrongs.  Sad, but without the bad, there would not be the miracles that have brought wonder and life to our world.

One of the lessons for me in the fact that DNA produces imperfection remains the idea that, not even what some call God’s Stardust is always perfect. However, if you look at the world it is mostly good enough.  That is the goal to strive for. Do what you can as best you can. Mostly it will be good enough and when not it is the best you can do.

Emotional Fitness Training tip three: Practice forgiveness. 

Three steps to forgiveness

POST INSPIRATION from this Word Press Daily Post Prompt: Moved to tears: Describe the last time you were moved to tears by something beautiful.

Kindness always fills my eyes with tears. And the imperfections of the world make it possible. Here are some things that brought tears to my eyes this week.

The grandparents of three-year-old girl with a rare form of epilepsy have made a $33.7m donation to the University of Sydney to fund medicinal cannabis research.

Then there was this one: Danielle Jacobs’ video showing intimate footage of her being comforted by her dog while having a ‘meltdown’ due to her Asperger’s syndrome has been viewed nearly 2 million times.

And finally this one, love these kids and both their parents. This connected them to me, but also to the wonder of it all.

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THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Remember sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Didn’t like it?  Comment and tell me why and how to improve

Thank you.

Katherine

 

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Three Tools Used by Talented Procrasinators

How talented procrastinators turn “To Do’s” into “Done.”

Joking aside, knowing when and how to procrastinate keeps your “To Do” list from ruling you. Procrastination is a skill and skills are learned tools for living the good life.  The following emotional fitness tips highlight the best tools of the Professional Procrastinator: Knowing what matters, practicing imperfection, and having strong self-soothing skills.

Emotional fitness tip one: Know what matters. What matters most is doing your best to bring Peace on Earth. Not what the advertizers and sales people want you to believe. Dis-satisfaction creates sales opportunities.

However, working to make the world a better place is  what both the sages of the ages and the modern researchers know leads to  the good life. Doing so is what Emotional Fitness Training means by The Mission.

Using rating scales keeps you focused most clearly on what matters.  Anything and everything can be rated. Here is proof of that:

A Rating Scale

The simplest way to work toward Peace on Earth is to practice kindness and gratitude.  Every time you sincerely thank someone for what they do for you and others makes them appreciated and that is what all seek.

I make it a point to thank all the police, servicemen and garbage collectors I meet when  out and about. I also find something nice to say to those who serve me fast food or ring up my groceries, hold a door for me, or in any other way give me a gift of kindness.  The smiles I get in return warm me.

Emotional fitness tip two: Practice Imperfection.  This aids in holding to The Mission. No one person can bring Peace on Earth.  However, every person can bring a bit of peace to the bit of earth they occupy.   That requires thinking not perfect, but “Good enough” or “The best I can do right now.”

Practicing imperfection is easier if one takes the time to focus on the small acts that you can do easily and well enough to make a difference. Across all ages various sages have known and preached this:

Lao Tzu said: Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Then there was body builder Charles Atlas who said, “Step by step and the thing is done.”

Then along came Warren Buffet who made billions and noted, “I don’t look to jump over 7-foot bars: I look around for 1-foot bars that I can step over.”

Finally, more recently Thich Nhat Hanh also suggests the smallest step mattered, “Every breath we take, every step we make, can be filled with peace, joy and serenity.”

Worry not about doing things perfectly, just do what you can the best you can, but always with the greater good in mind.

Emotional fitness tip three: Strengthen self soothing skills.  Practicing Imperfection and holding to the Mission are not easily accomplished tasks.  EFTI’s eBook    Self-soothing, Creating Calm in You Life, is this blog post’s sale pitch.  Remember EFTI’s eBooks all cost less than a movie, most less than a latte.  Also remember you can get a tool from Amazon that lets you read any eBook sold there in a desktop or Ipad or cell phone.  Here is a free and  quick introduction to Emotional Fitness Training Easy Exercises.

Parenting tip

As usual practice all of the above, then teach each skill to your child as appropriate to her or his age and stage. The best way to start is teaching your child how to rate things as soon as s/he begins to toodle; then each hurtful fall becomes a teachable moment.  Go here for a related  Parents Are People Blog post.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Remember sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Didn’t like it?  Comment and tell me why and how to improve.

Thank you.

Katherine

POST INSPIRATION:  This  WordPress Prompt which was:  Those Dishes Won’t Do Themselves: What’s the household task you most dislike doing? Why do you think that is — is it the task itself, or something more?

The something more relates to this post which is the failure when I procrastinate of someone else – hubby for example, to step up to the plate and to it for me. My solution with it comes to many a house hold task is to practice imperfection and calming self-talk.

Links of INterest

 

 

 

 

HOW TO FIND THE GOOD LIFE BY PRACTICING IMPERFECTION

EMOTIONAL FITNESS training TIPS

Emotional fitness tip one: Practice imperfection. Think good enough, when obsessed with getting anything a bit more perfect.  Use “Good enough” as a mantra.

Emotional fitness tip two: Rate how near enough is good enough.  Here’s the Rating Scale poster.

Rating scale poster

Emotional fitness tip three: Improve your ability to see when perfectionism is playing a part in your life.  Challenge delusions of perfection on the media and in real life.  Look for twisted thinking in all media.  Look for people seeking perfection and say gently, “Good enough seem best in this situation” or something to that effect.

Emotional fitness tip four:  Continue to pursue the best you can be. We need goals and ideals are part of setting a goal. However, all goals must be based on a realistic picture of your abilities. If you sing off tune, you will not become the next Voice or American Idol.

Emotional fitness tip five: Focus on your life’s mission rather than the everyday goals that might not matter in the long run. Think about buying my ebook How to Know Your Mission So You Can Reach Your Goals. It will cost you $2.99 which is less than a latte and a bit more important in living the good life.

Parenting advice

Delusions of perfection are particularly painful because it taps into childhood’s reservoir of shame. According to  Jerome Kagan, human development specialist, children struggle with shame as they enter the threes. That is when children realize while  powerless over some things, they are quite capable of doing the unthinkable over younger or weaker beings.

For a three-year old the unthinkable is the desire to do away with the people who keep you from doing what you want.  The only ones you have power over at that age are younger siblings and small animals.  Kagan points out a strong counter emotion is needed to keep from acting on violent impulses which is why shame emerges at this particular age and stage.

Also at that age any failure to do something perfectly creates shame, not being good enough.  Shame is all about having to be perfect and fearing other people’s response when you are imperfect.

First parenting tip: Say “Good try” twice as often as you say “Try harder.”

Second parenting tip: If you child is engaged in competitive sports, counter The Winning is everything mentality with “Having fun is winning even when you lose.”

Third parenting tip: Teach rating scales early on.

Fourth parenting tip: With those moving into the changing thoughts of adolescence engage in conversations about what matters, sweating the small stuff.

Fifth parenting tip:  Children of all ages can be caught up in perfectionism.  Be alert to the possibility a child perfectionism is leading to the mental health disorder called  OCD. Here is a handout, I used when teaching a Challenging Children Course.

OCD quidelines

This is an information guide, if you are worried, about a child talk to a competent mental health professional, share this handout with him or her.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Remember sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Didn’t like it?  Comment and tell me why and how to improve.

Thank you.

Katherine

POST INSPIRATION from this Word Press Daily Post Prompt: Idyllic – what does your ideal community look like? How is it organized, and how is community life structured? What values does the community share?

Obviously, I want an imperfect but good enough community that practices tolerance and is kind to all. Stay strong all and remember what matters.

 LINKS OF INTEREST

FIGHTING FOR TRUTH AND JUSTICE? THINK ABOUT THIS

If the news of the day was still going out in smoke signals, truth and justice would still be in the hands of the powerful, but there is progress. Do you agree?
Truth and justice

QUICK EMOTIONAL FITNESS TRAINING TIP

Don’t give up the fight, but don’t slip over the line that divides seeking good for all from revenge. When one is hurt, our hearts and feelings command us to fight back or run away.  There is a middle ground: staying safe and working in every way in your power to right the wrong of oppression any way you can.

Parenting tip: Teach your children both manners and the basics of self-defense. Here is the best self-defense approach for doing both:  Peace DoJo International. And a quote:

 “A Peace Dojo engages in rigorous and deliberate training practices to develop the capacity for skillful, healing action and the courage of heart needed to face the fear and violence in oneself and in the world.”

If you live in the New York City area seek out Bill Leicht 212-228-0980 for information about programs near you. Most are reasonably priced and scholarships are available.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Remember sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Thank you.

Katherine

POST INSPIRATION not from this Daily Posts PromptCurrent events and the war between good and evil engendered there in. However,  I did make it fit a bit in the following:

Here is the prompt:   Your Life, the Book:From a famous writer or celebrity, to a WordPress.com blogger or someone close to you — who would you like to be your biographer?

My blogging is my auto biography and as for a celebrity to take it on as a biography? Well, Oprah was the first name that came to mind. I was on her show once as an expert in the audience and she brought me down.

View the video and watch her body language. She was not happy with me although I think my advice was good and we are more alligned then not. But she was worried about her image. Here right, and I do understand that. So she need not do a book, maybe just comment nicely on my obituary.  That would be my version of Restorative Justice

Restorative Justice is a movement that started in South Africa.  Here is a quote about the problem of justice which is world wide.

Over-representation of minorities in the criminal justice system is a problem around the world. It raises questions about the fairness of the justice system itself and of how larger social justice problems influence the justice system.

Other LINKS OF INTEREST