Tag Archives: Katherine Gordy Levine

Two Old Men Thank Me

Yesterday’s EFTI post quoted  George Carlin , “…. the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids?”  #EmotionalIntelligence booster.

Picture of elderly couple and their dog.

The main man in my life, David not Punky, and me. The Punk is a teen; the humans have moved from the new old to the old stage. A bit shortened from yesterday.

This is a repost, shortened at one end and then expanded to cover what I learned from David’s unexpected visit to the ER yesterday afternoon. After I had bragged about how well we were doing. Ah well, pride plummets. Sometimes.

What I said yesterday.  I am pushing 80; it has taken years to get here.   And although  I would like the body, I had at 24, 34,  44 or even 64  I want that body only if I can  keep all I have experienced and learned from then to now. Will not happen.

Don’t think I am anti-young.  Never.  I love the young, the younger the better.  Love my grands, love the other kids in my life.  .I love flirting with the young men checking me out on-line at the food stores.  I like when I can make them laugh or blush with pleasure at the compliment I hurl at them.

I am delighted some of the “kids” I knew during my son’s growing up years, have friended me on Facebook.  Even more delighted when one of them likes something I say or actually comments on one of my posts.  The young give me hope, inspire, and often make my day.

That said, I get the  fear attached to aging.  I understand the difficulties of those approaching whatever years means they have passed from youth to middle age or  middle age to the new old or that age to old age and finally to frail old age.

I know when I look around while out and about, that I am  old and moving toward frail old.  Not happy.  However, denying reality is not the hall-mark of emotional intelligence and I do try to keep mine somewhat functional.

Nor is aging what bothers me most.  What I hate most is becoming invisible.  We humans thrive on the recognition of our kind.  Explains why as we age and those who knew us when and knew us best fade from our lives, some of us become cat ladies or dog men.  Sad, but the way life is in our youth oriented culture and we older folks start becoming invisible.

I do see as the boomers continue to age, the veneration of youth is hitting a slightly better balance. Love that Jamie Lee Curtis is displaying all her wrinkles.   Still the balance continues to venerate the young and dismiss the aging.

Have you noticed how many ads on television have  pre-schoolers lecturing parents and grand parents?  Scarier are the one that show the kindergarten set driving their daddy’s car with his approval.

To be balanced  we need the new visions of the young, but experienced wisdom of the old.

My decision to repeat this post was  inspired by this s Word Press DAILY PROMPT

Here it is.  Sudden Downpour “It was sunny when you left home, so you didn’t take an umbrella. An hour later, you’re caught in a torrential downpour. You run into the first store you can find — it happens to be a dark, slightly shabby antique store, full of old artifacts, books, and dust. The shop’s ancient proprietor walks out of the back room to greet you. Tell us what happens next!”

He recognizes me and reads my blog.  Fictional daydream of course.

He rushes to me, hugs me, and says, “Thank you, for blogging about the need to stand on the shoulders of giants and also for a bit of balance.  My name is “Atlas” and I need all the help I can get from the young people trying to hold up the world and keep it moving toward peace.

He smelled delightfully of Old Spice, conjuring up memories of the man who gave me my first sexy kiss, so I hugged him back and thought “Thanks for the memory.”

That was thank you number one.

Thank you number two came from my husband.  It was on our way back from a trip dehydration combined with diabetes had insisted he take to the emergency room.  He had served as a Marshall at Denver’s Rally Supporting Israel. And as I wasn’t there to nag him, had forgotten to wear his hat, forgotten to drink water then realized he was in danger and the good people he was with drove him to the emergency room.

As we were driving home, he said “Thank you.”

He also said, “I almost didn’t call you, and thought about taking a taxi.”

Well, that cranked me up a bit, and I said I would have sent him back to the ER if he hadn’t told me.

“What are we here for and still together if not to be there for one another at times like this.”

Of course, I knew two of his reasons for thinking about a taxi. First one: His earlier failure to listen to my “wifely advice. ( I hadn’t really wanted him to go to the rally, I had tried to get him to take it easy before going, and I reminded him to drink water.) He would have to admit some wrong, which like all men he hates doing.

Second reason; He doesn’t like to be a passenger when I am driving. In my defense let me say, I don’t like driving when he is in the car as he micro manages me almost more than I micro manage him.  But I am the one admitting to that source of friction. I’m such a Good Wife. Ha.

Anyway,  by the time I got to the ER he was ready to be discharged;  I tortured him a bit by asking the doctor sending him home to write on the discharge notes “Listen occasionally to your wife.”

He and the doctor had some funny things to say to each other about that and about wives. Of course.  Because of my poor hearing I didn’t get their jokes,and didn’t care. The point was made.

Learned something new, so here is an emotional fitness health tip for anyone aging and dealing with diabetes.  Filling up on water is not  the best strategy.  Contrary to what must advice columns advise; the latest research is a bit more balanced.

It was my asking how much water David  should drink that prompted the good doctor’s answer.  First, too much water for anyone thins the blood. But more worrisome is that  dehydration in someone with diabetes can trigger an electrolyte imbalance. Then water does not help. What diabetics should drink to stay hydrated are sugarless sports drinks as well as water.

How much water is too much water to drink?  My surfing has revealed this. Divide your weight in half.  That number reflects the amount of fluid you should consume each day.

Moreover, it need not be water. Other fluids substitute: milk is one,  coffee, tea, diet sodas, juices and even juicy food such as watermelon, apples, oranges, cucumbers, celery,  some lettuces, and tomatoes.

To restore electrolytes, sports drinks help, and if sugar is a concern the sugarless ones work. However,  here is what I gleaned from over an hour of internet surfing: a pinch of Kosher or Sea Salt (1/8th teaspoon)  in one eight ounce glass of water a day does as well as a bottled sports drink and is loads cheaper.

Try it in lemonade.  David likes flavored  water and I will add his  pinch to it.

One of my indulgences is salted maple syrup over vanilla ice cream.  Will use a bit of sea salt there for my daily dose.

STAY STRONG

Remember to practice kindness.  One way I try to practice kindness is by sharing information hoping at least one person will find it helpful.  I think the above might prove useful to one or two. Pass it on if you agree.

Also remember to practice gratitude. So here is a big thank you to  E.R. doctor Randy Jacobs at St Joseph’s Hospital in Denver, for laughing with us, treating us old ones as if we existed and still had some brains, and also for enlightening us about the need for not less water and more electrolyte balance.

Katherine

 

LINKS OF INTEREST

Images by Emotional Fitness Training Inc.

 

GROWING OLD, I HOPE SO; ALTERNATIVE? UNCERTAIN?

George Carlin  remarked, “…. the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids?”  #EmotionalIntelligence involves making the best of what is.

Picture of elderly couple and their dog.

The main man in my life, David not Punky, and me. The Punk is a teen; the humans have moved from the new old to the old stage.

This post inspired by WordPress’ DAILY PROMPT Age-Old Questions “Age is just a number,” says the well-worn adage. But is it a number you care about, or one you tend (or try) to ignore?

I am pushing 80; it has taken years to get here.   And although  I would like the body, I had at 24, 34,  44 or even 64  I want that body only if I can  keep all I have experienced and learned from then to now. Will not happen.

Don’t think I am anti-young.  Never.  I love the young, the younger the better.  Love my grands, love the other kids in my life.  .I love flirting with the young men checking me out on-line at the food stores.  I like when I can make them laugh or blush with pleasure at the compliment I hurl at them. I am delighted some of the “kids” I knew during my sons growing up years, have friended me on Facebook.  Even more delighted when one of them likes something I say or actually comments on one of my posts.  The young give me hope, inspire, often make my day.

But, that said, I get the  fear attached to aging.  I understand the difficulties of those approaching whatever years means they have passed from youth to middle age or  middle age to the new old or that age to old age and finally to frail old age.

I know when I look around while out and about, that I am  old and moving toward frail old.  Not happy, however, denying reality is not the hall-mark of emotional intelligence.

Nor is aging what bothers me most.  What I hate most is becoming invisible.  We humans thrive on the recognition of our kind.  Explains why as we age and those who knew us when and knew us best fade from our lives, some of us become cat ladies or dog men.  Sad, but the way life is in our youth oriented culture.  I do see as the boomers continue to age, the veneration of youth is hitting a slightly better balance. Love that Jamie Lee Curtis is displaying all her wrinkles.   Still the balance continues to venerate the young.

Have you noticed how many ads on television have the pre-schoolers lecturer parents and grand parents?  Scarier are the one that show the kindergarten set driving their daddy’s car.

To be balanced  we need the new visions of the young, but experienced wisdom of the old.

An Emotional Fitness Tip

What to do?  This is what has worked for me and what is the heart of Emotional Fitness Training: Know your mission, follow your mission, and make certain it aligns with The Mission.  Then live so that when old or frail old comes you can be proud of the path you have taken.

For those who do not follow blogs, The Mission is practicing kindness and to all.  The sages have preached it for years and the researchers find those wise old ones knew what mattered most. Here is the EFTI poster coach setting forth the sages sense of mission.

 STAY STRONG

Be thankful for all the years you have lived, for now, and for however more years are granted you.  Now is not forever, and often all we have.

Practice kindness, work every way you can to abolish hate.  Help me do the same by  liking, sharing, or commenting.
Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

Images by Emotional Fitness Training Inc.

 

Best Friend

Inspired by  Word Press’s DAILY PROMPT On Bees and Efs - Do you — or did you ever — have a Best Friend? Yes and here is the first and longest lasting.

Best friend.

This friendship started in Kindergarten, these pics are from jr high and high school

I am so lucky to have had this friend.  Wish I had pictures from Kindergarten, but WWII was raging then and don’t think much time was devoted in either of our families to taking pictures.

She taught me many lessons and and keeps me growing still as we both move toward our eighties.  She knows who she is.  Wonder if her children and grandchildren who are facebook friends of mine will recognize her.

STAY STRONG

Be thankful or all friends.  Let them know you care and are grateful for all they have given you.  Forgive and ask for forgiveness.  Love on.

Practice kindness, work every way you can to abolish hate.  Help me do the same by  liking, sharing, or commenting.
Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

Image by Emotional Fitness Training Inc.

 

UNCERTAINTY PAINS

The more we know about what drives us,  the stronger our #emotionalintelligence. Uncertainty drives much behavior.

Uncertainty rules

Emotional Fitness Thoughts and Tips

Guru and retired Harvard Researcher Jerome Kagan centered much of his research on how uncertainty twists our thinking, lets emotions rule, and is a major source of anger, fear, depression or despair.

He points out that much of an ‘infant’s time is spent taking in information from the surrounding environment. This leads to beliefs that “What is ought to be.”  Once such a belief forms it is held to with great subborness.

Understanding this idea about how our brains get programmed, makes it much easier to understand why abused children seem to invite abuse by being  or in time more easily become victims of domestic abuse as adults. How ?  One of my many foster children, explained it to my husband and I when we first struggled with learning to care for previously abused children.

Here is what he said, “You treat us better than our parents, that hurts, be more like them, smack us around once in a while.”

His hurt was the uncertainty created about whether his and the other foster children were loved by their parents.  Of course, most were. However, because that love came with abuse, the children believed “Abuse was part of love.”

Our refusal to smack our foster children around challenged those this idea about the meaning of love creating doubt and uncertainty  about whether their parents loved them.  Much of our foster children’s behavior was their efforts to  get us to behave more like their parents. The more we could be made punishing and seen as mean, the less our foster children were forced to doubt their parents love.

Kagan makes the point such uncertainty leads to what he calls “The Need to Resolve” uncertainty.  He believes that after survival needs this need is as strong and sometimes stronger than sexual desire.

Kagan also points out that there are four ways humans tend to resolve uncertainty. They are:

  1. Ignoring any source creating doubt.  Think of people not watching news or not learning the ins and outs of the internet.
  2.  Angry blaming of anyone or anything creating doubt.  Think of throwing a smart phone across the room because it makes you feel dumb. Think of prejudices particularly against religions do not believe as you do.
  3. Blaming yourself and thinking you are incompetent or stupid.  Think of the throwing the Smart phone across the room and then getting depressed for being so dumb.  Then think of feeling dumb because a seven year old can operate your new Smart phone and you cannot. Religions foster uncertainty by the belief bad things happen as punishments of individual or group sins.
  4. Despair and giving up on large and small tasks.  Think of going back to a land line because you don’t think you can learn to use a Smart Phone.  Think of deciding peace on earth is not possible.

What to do? The first step in not letting doubt and uncertainty rule your behavior is to accept that it does.  So the next time you feel angry, stupid, incompetent, or like giving up, ask how the feeling relates to uncertainty.  That’s the beginning. More next post.

 STAY STRONG

Nothing makes us doubt all we know ,more than pain. The more intense the pain, the greater the uncertainty. Don’t agree?

Think of  the almost constant cry from those suffering,  “What did I do to deserve this?”

If we can figure out something we did, we feel more in control of our lives and are less plagued by doubt. Reality Check: Bad things happen sometimes because you did the wrong thing, but much of the time because you are not the controller of all that happens.

Think for a few minutes about the downside of controlling everything? Not good, better to stay closely focuses on what is actually yours to control. Much less than you think.

Thank you for all you do, enjoy and be grateful for all you have been given, practice kindness, like, share or comment.

Katherine

WORD PRESS DAILY PROMPT

This post relates to this DAILY PROMPT : When was the last time you watched something so scary, cringe-worthy, or unbelievably tacky — in a movie, on TV, or in real life — you had to cover your eyes?

My reply: Real life is very scary these days. Turn on the news or surf the social media and you will find yourself turning away.  I do. Three things bother me the most:

  1. The pictures of the innocents dying as war makes it way across our world.
  2. The pictures of abused animals.
  3. The one sided thinking and blaming rants of all fanatics.

I don’t look at the pictures, but I do try to persuade those who see only one side of any dispute to spend a moment or two pondering “What if” the other side has more truth than you side.

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 IMAGE BY mchumor.com