Tag Archives: Katherine Gordy Levine


Nervous laughter?  Not about you. Nor  is my Snorting Laugh when the idiocy of life or some people gets to me.  Rarely is it meant personally.Kids laughing nervously

Emotional Fitness Thoughts and Tip

Both my snorting laugh and nervous laugher  create the illusion someone is laughing at you. Way too personal and commits the twisted thinking flaw known as “The Curse of Personal Knowledge.”  That curse means you are not thinking, but using emotional reasoning, what you feel, not what is real.

Emotional fitness and emotional intelligence is all about not following your heart as so many of the happiness gurus preach.  Remember that “Love is blind” and that warning includes gut feelings and  intuition. The emotionally intelligent approach to passion feelings means partnering with your thinking cap before deciding what you need to do.

Emotional Fitness tip one: When a strong feeling tells you to act even in 911 situations thinking before acting remains wisest.  The feelings created by 911 situations urge you to either run, fight; 911 situations also cause you to freeze and faint.

Minimally you have to think where to run if that is when your feelings urge running;  when fighting is urged, you need to  think if you can win.

Emotional Fitness tip two: If the problem is not so hot laughter, either yours or someone elses, thinking is definitely the first strategy. Four things worth thinking about when you are not sure about the meaning of laugher:

  1. Am I taking some thing personally that isn’t personal? This is particularly important for parents, teachers, and bosses to think about. Nervous laugher is only made worse when not understood.
  2. If it might apply to me personally, is it worth fussing about?  The most extreme examples who want to kill  political cartoonists making fun of their religion.   Slightly less extremes are oversensitive feelings related to other people’s stupid, thoughtless, or prejudiced comments.
  3. Related to the above, but a bit different, you need to think if the other person thinks you are laughing at them.  My snorting laughter needs explaining if there is any chance the person thinks I am laughing at them.  Those who know me well understand my snorts. Those who don’t might need me to add to my snort. “Always gets me how some things are so predictably stupid.” or “Sorry, I laughed, it wasn’t at you, it was because life and others are sometimes so ridiculous it is laugh or cry.”
  4. If you feel action is required, then you absolutely must thinking about how to act wisely.  That is the subject of my soon to released eBook – Think Your Way to the Good Life.  Watch for its release so you can get a free sample.


No matter how busy you are, you need time outs to refresh and renew and a quick laugh often fills the bill.   A rule do not indulge aloud in hurtful laughs.  I laugh lots in my head, not always nice, but no real harm done as such laughs destroy my need to act.  Another rule: When such laughs  heat you up, do not indulge.

Even better is trying create laughs. Here’s today’s Free Poster Coach. Become a comedian:

How to become a comedian

As always, thank you for all you do to make the world around you more peaceful. Think of sharing this post as a way to practice kindness. All acts of kindness move the world a bit closer  toward peace.


How does this post fit in with Today’s Daily Prompt Uncanned Laughter: A misused word, a misremembered song lyric, a cream pie that just happened to be there: tell us about a time you (or someone else) said or did something unintentionally funny.

The above answers this but with a more serious discussion.


EFTI FREE POSTERS  Browse the EFTI store for free digital downloads of the posters shown. You will also see  nearly a hundred more designed to inspire, coach and teach you how to strengthen your #emotionalintelligence. Here is the link to the free poster attached to this blog.


Strengthen your health and well-being by stretching and wondering. Here’s how:

Think of all around you, above, you within you - know awe.

Here’s how to Be With Beauty:

Be with beauty emotionalfitness exercise.


No matter how busy you are, you need time outs to refresh and renew. The two exercises are quick ways to refuel. However, you and those you love need more than quick breaks throughout you day.

When God commanded the Jews to observe the Shabbat, the purpose was to force quiet time on this tribe of his children. You do not have to be Jewish or even believe in God to benefit from a day away from work and particularly electronic devices and stores.

Can’t bear the thought of a full day?  Start with a few hours, build toward a full day.  You will benefit.

As always, thank you for all you do to make the world around you more peaceful. Think of sharing this post as another way to work toward peace.


How does this post fit in with Today’s Word Press’s DAILY PROMPT:  Secret Admirers?  You return home to discover a huge flower bouquet waiting for you, no card attached. Who is it from — and why did they send it to you?

Only indirectly.  What it sparked in me was a reminder to build your #emotionalintelligence  by admiring beauty and nature and not so secretly.


EFTI FREE POSTERS  Browse the EFTI store for free digital downloads of the posters shown. You will also see  nearly a hundred more designed to inspire, coach and teach you how to strengthen your #emotionalintelligence. 


Some believe dogs are the devil, black dogs in particular.  Those who love dogs know that dog is god spelled backwards. #emotionalintelligence

Bad black dog

This woman knew bad behavior should not be rewarded, and that a bit of punishment does not hurt. Punishment is pain applied after doing something bad and can range from with holding a reward as above to harsh punishments that are abusive. That is the theme of another post - Treat Your Children Like Dogs. On with this post.

EMOTIonal intelligence thoughts and tips

This post is about prejudices. Although about black dogs it refers to all prejudices.  For this one, think way back to when wolves were around mankind consisted of all small  and sometimes violent tribes.  Doing so helps you understand how dogs and particularly black dogs got a bad rep.

Tamed wolves, often black at that time,  served as advanced  weaponry for  warriors making it understandable some would see them as evil and the devil.

That is where the “Curse of Personal Knowledge” comes in.  That curse involves twisted thinking of several kinds beginning with personal experiences that get generalized and carried forward to illogical extremes.

Think of being bitten by a dog as a child – a personal experience which could or could not lead to excessive fear of dogs or what the mental health experts call a dog phobia.  When other experiences with dogs are unpleasant, or a cultural cautionary myth supports the fear grows. Fear unfortunately breeds hatred.

Doubt the cultural part? Islam holds the belief black dogs are devil dogs and must be killed. I suspect Mohammed when first questing for power was set upon by some black dogs.  His personal experience morphed into a cautionary tale and then a law.

When I lived in an integrated neighborhood, many Islamists would cross the street and make the sign of the devil when I was walking my Whisper. Moreover, I suspect if they could get away with it some might have killed her.

Our blackest and the sweetest dog ever doing one of the things she loved the most. Swimming.

Whisper is no longer with us. The  blackest and  also sweetest dog we ever owned, seen here doing something  she loved – water play.

I can more easily forgive the cultures that eat dogs,  at least that arose from the need to survive. I have a harder time with any teaching hatred.  I think of the  fear of  black dogs and  sanctioning their deaths because of fur color as dog racism.

Emotional intelligence tip one: Examine your fears for the twisted thinking keeping such fears  alive and flourishing. The Curse of Personal Knowledge is one, but generalizing is most common and probably the root of all prejudice.

Fear is a signal something bad may happen. May happen is  key.  Turning may to will increases fear, and that is just what our brain does. Our brain’s warning system is always on 911 alert and preparing us for the worse, but the worse, meaning serious physical injury or death rarely happen.  When afraid we have to think seriously about if and how our thinking is being twisted.

Emotional intelligence tip two: Understand how fear and uncertainty lead to hate. Jerome Kagan, retired Harvard guru, believes uncertainty (fear) can turn to anger when we can find something or someone to blame.

When afraid we run or fight. We stay to fight if we think we are stronger than what we fear and will win.  When angry we always want to fight, but fear will rule when we think we cannot win the fight.

Moral: Deal with your fear before it turns to hate even if you are strong enough to win a battle. That is the only path to peace on earth for all.


If you like this post share it with another.  That is practicing deliberate kindness which is part of the skill of saying what has to be said without saying it mean. .

As always, thank you for your support.


This post fits in with Today’s Word Press’s  Aug 8, 2014 DAILY PROMPT   Sounds Right:  This is clearly subjective, but some words really sound like the thing they describe (personal favorites: puffin; bulbous; fidgeting). Do you have an example of such a word (or, alternatively, of a word that sounds like the exact opposite of what it refers to)? What do you think creates this effect?

Okay, I did a twist a bit on that, but still  it is what  this prompt inspired.

IMAGES BY Cartoon Stock and Emotional Fitness Training, INCl

If the free poster below is not yet up on the EFTI Store, practice forgiveness, I will get it up as soon as possible, but I am a business of one.  You might browse for all the digital downloads are free and many relate to today’s free coach.


Lying enables the seven cardinal sins –  wrath, avarice, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony – so make lying cardinal sin number eight.  

 Lying, even small white lies clutter the path to peace with rocksl

Lying, even small white lies clutter the path to peace with rocks and ditches. Moreover, it seems truth has died.

My fanatical post modern friends would say there is no truth.  Tell that to the people in Syria, Gaza, Israel. War is a pretty brute fact and therefore true in itself although no where does the truth get twisted when others seek to justify evil acts.

If I had a magic wand, I would immediately have every news and media post state its place of origin and date it orginated.  My hope would be to keep pictures of  one war or another time  from infecting current truth.

Then, I would have every commentator’s pay master and bias listed on a placard and hung around his or her neck while broad casting. Would have the same  displayed on every article someone writes and prominently on all book covers.

People would still twist their ideas of truth in their own heads, but perhaps not as easily.


Keep track of how often you lie during the course of the next several hours.  If you are engaging with others, one study says you will lie at last 12 times an hour.  Not all lies are evil, but the more carelessly we are with the truth, the easier it becomes to lie.


If you like this post share it with another.  Kindness always improves your emotional health.  

Thank you for your support.


Today’s Word Press’s  DAILY PROMPT – The Eighth Sin – Remember the seven cardinal sins? You’re given the serious task of adding a new one to the list — another trait or behavior you find particularly unacceptable, for whatever reason. What’s sin #8 for you? Why?

Think I’ve answered that above.