Tag Archives: Life

Missing Emotional Fitness Training Posts?

I feel like the lion and fox in this Savage Chicken Cartoon:

lion and fox

At least I can still laugh.  When you can laugh about something, you need more help than I can give. The stress of trying to get my blog problems straightened out remains minor in terms of the things that really matter, but I am finding it harder and harder to laugh do here  some Emotional Fitness Tips for  me:

  1. Follow your own advice. OMM, Remember what matters. Try some Sloganeering. Do what self-soothes you best.
  2. Walk away.
  3. Laugh and play.
  4. Nap.
  5. Try again.
  6. Ask for help.
  7. Scream and shout
  8. Try chocolate.
  9. Try wine.
  10. Throw something.
  11. Repeat all of the above.
  12. Give up and stop blogging.

Am giving up for now and sending this out. The Happiness Engineers hard at work. If they make me happy, you will get another post.

Not even sure if I push send if this will reach you. All I can do is try. Do let me know if your get something that resembles an Emotional Fitness Post and not an error message or lots of white space and a few words.

Thank you.

How to Speak So the Deaf Can Hear

A Cranky Old Deaf One’s blog post, inspired by this Word Press Daily Prompt Challenge If you could  be fluent in any language  which would it be?

Hearing aide joke Emotional Fitness Thoughts

I laughed, hope you did. Also hope you thought a bit more about what mattered.

The language I would like to acquire would be “Lip Reading.” Then I would know who were my real friends, who liked to make jokes about other people, and who just cared about themselves.

On the other hand, it might just better to be a bit deaf to what is said and so  judge others by actions and not words. The Word Nazi’s promote divisiveness as much as peace.

The language I would like others to learn is American Sign Language.  It is so easy to learn even babies can learn some basic signs before they can talk.

Reality check: As easy as it is for baby’s to learn, once they begin knowing how to talk, that becomes their preferred language. I taught my grands some basic signs, but they lost interest as soon as they could talk. What I am seeing is that the grand nearing kindergarten age is getting a bit re-invested in signing.

So this blog post’s Emotional Fitness Tip is really a wish. That all day care and elementary schools would include signing as part of their curriculum. It is as important a second language as any other and more universal. Moreover, it is best taught via songs and that boosts emotional intelligence and fitness as well.

Then it could become an elective in all upper grades.

Think about this: skilled signers have little difficulty finding jobs, either full time or part time.


Parenting tip one: Encourage all to teach signing to children and reinforce it. 

Parenting tip two:  Of course that means you must learn to sign.

Parenting tip three:  When you have learned some signs have Signing Time every day at a specified time.  Meal time is a good time. So is making it part of a night time ritual. 


Remember’s sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Thank you.




Whether it is caring for you or for another, you need to hone the skill of forgiveness.  All humans need to be forgiving and forgiven.

Forgiveness laughs

As you laugh, think about what matters.

Some things are unforgivable, but very few. When seeking to forgive your self and others, rate what you are seeking to forgive on a scale of ten.  Here’s mine:

  • Murder is at the top and = 10.
  • Killing another in self defense =9
  • Physical torture or assault = 8
  • Slavery = 7
  • Theft = 6
  • Betrayal and emotional abuse = 5
  • Name calling, harmful gossip,  and character assaults = 4
  •  Conflicting needs of yours that hurt another = 3
  • Unintentional emotional hurts and slights = 2
  • No hurts but to your conscience = 1

Debate flourishes around some of these. For example the question of slavery. Does the business world enslave people. Yes, and yet not the same as those held captive and forced to work against their will.

Another example? Excessive profit taking can be a form of theft, withholding help from the truly needy another form.

Betrayal, emotional abuse, name calling, harmful gossip, character assaults and on down are murkier.

To think more about universal morality, visit the Links of Importance  at the bottom of this post. .

Most of us do two things that make forgiveness more difficult. We awfulize the level 5 and below hurts that others impose on us.  Better to forgive as hanging on to such things only really hurts you. No one can hurt or emotionally abuse you without some consent on your part.

The second things we do about forgiving ourselves.  There we awfulize are small sins and feel like with have murdered another and often when they do not feel we have hurt them at all.


Parenting goes better if you practice forgiving yourself, your child, your other parent, and others who care.  Doing so models what matters.  It also helps to teach your child the art of apologizing. So make sure you apology properly and often when you hurt your child.

How to apology


The heart of emotional intelligence is the ability to know what your heart tells you to do, but then partnering with your thinking skills so you make the best decision possible. I use Daily Prompts to help me think more critically.  Here’s today’s.

DAILY PROMPT Time Capsule:  What would you put in this year’s time capsule to channel the essence of our current moment for future generations?

Easy: Each generation needs to learn to practice kindness, forgiveness of others, forgiveness of self if there is to be peace on earth.

How would you answer this prompt?

Links of importance


Don’t think you can afford a life coach? Like a life coach, EFTI’s poster coaches inspire, teach, motivate, and reinforce thinking about what matters.  To use, print up in color and post where it will be seen often.

Poster Coaches can also be used at family, staff meetings, in classes to motivate or spark discussions. Many are free.


Keep working to stay strong, I work hard to do the same. Like daily physical fitness keeps you strong, practicing some Emotional Fitness Training Exercises keeps you emotionally strong. Forgiving others is one; forgiving yourself another.

Remember’s sharing is caring and the easiest way to Practice Kindness (an easy Emotional Fitness Exercise is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Thank you.



First love mixes lust and the heady feeling of finding someone who seems tp know your deepest self. As is said, “Love is blind” so love always betrays.

#emotionalintelligence #parentingtips #fitness

Desperately  seeking someone to affirm you keeps you running away from what could be. It is delusional  and twisted thinking.  We all need to get better at coding reality. 

Reality check: We are not capable of knowing all about ourselves and love ourselves unconditionally. It is delusional to expect others to be all affirming. 

Very few first loves survive the reality check of on-going life.  Romeo and Juliet’s love may not have died, but they did and who knows whether their love would have survived real life. Probably not.

A few people are lucky enough to live happily or mostly happily ever after with their first love.  Even then when one finally dies, the other feels betrayed.

Most of my friends married right out of high school or college. In high school, I planned to marry my first love after college. He found another and my heart broke.

Guess what?  I survived and endured a few more heart breaks before  I found Mr. Right. Moreover, he was often Mr. Wrong, but we fit together, were best friends, and had survived  enough fights to know we’d make it to old age together. By that time  I married, many of my married friends were divorcing were seeking other happy-ever- after mates. For many, the second marriage ended also.

I am grateful for the gift of my  first love, and  eventually also grateful for the heart-break and what it taught me.  Here are the lessons.

Even those who love you with all their hearts betray you. That’s life’s hardest lesson.  Babies are betrayed when parents cannot comfort the pain of colic; toddlers when parents can end terror of what lurks in the dark.

Teens wake up one day and believe  all adults have lied because the teen meets life head on and many things they were taught seem wrong. Some of those things:

  1. People who say they love you will never  hurt you.
  2. God is all loving and all powerful.
  3. Bad things don’t happen to good people not even to half good people.
  4. Your dreams will all come true if only you follow your heart and work hard.
  5. Love means always being understood and never having to say you are sorry.

The tip? Expect less you will be coding reality better.  Reality is a mixture of good and bad; what we know and what we cannot know.  The better we code reality, the less we will feel betrayed. As the author of the Microbe Hunters, Paul de Kruif noted, “Blessed are those who expect nothing for they shall not be disappointed.”


Children’s brains are programmed to introduce the hard facts of life slowly; a child’s ability to deny and live in the moment is a protective gift of the Creator of All Things.  This means a parent must stay aware of age and stage to help the process of coding reality.  This parenting post discusses that in more detail.

THINK harder

The heart of becoming emotionally fit, what the gurus call Emotionally Intelligent, lies in thinking clearly.  Not easy for our emotions cloud our thoughts. I think harder by following some daily prompts. Here is today’s


Don’t think you can afford a life coach? Like a life coach, EFTI’s poster coaches inspire, teach, motivate, and reinforce thinking about what matters.  To use, print up in color and post there it will be seen often.  Poster Coaches can also be used at  Family Meetings to start a discussion about what matters.


Keep working to stay strong, I work hard to do the same . As noted above,  I am not perfect, no one is and this week;s post will be all about praising imperfection.

Remember’s sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Thank you.