What is a Gotcha War? Any argument where the other person tries to make you look like a fool, so s/he seeems virtuous.
I learned about Gotcha Wars as a foster parent caring for troubled teens. Many were dedicated Gotcha Warriors. Why? The cartoon says it all.
Sad feeling fact: bullying usually begins with feeling weak or bad about yourself.
Second sad feeling fact: bullying feels powerful.
Final sad feeling fact: bullying feels particularly powerful when you can get the other to behave badly.
The main strategy for winning any Gotcha War involves minimal or no response. The less you engage someone wanting to fight, the less likely a fight will happen.
Not engaging, however requires strong self soothing skills. So here are two poster coaches that help you create calm when someone wants you to rev up and fight.
Both these exercises need a bit of practice in order to be effective. Don’t expect them to work in the midst of a Gotcha War if you haven’t learned and practiced them before hand.
Thank you for all you do to Practice Kindness. Liking, commenting, or sharing any social media you find helpful is one way to be kind. It may seem like a little, however, doing a little matters a lot.
Thank you Kevin Spear for the cartoon.
Inspired by a Wordpress DAILY PROMPT Showdown at Big Sky How do you handle conflict? Boldly and directly? Or, do you prefer a more subtle approach. As noted above, Winning a Gotcha War demands a subtle approach.
LINKS OF INTEREST
Posted in EFTI news and views
Tagged Anger management, Conflict resolution, Emotional fitness, Emotional Fitness Training Inc., emotional health, Emotional intelligence, Gotcha Wars, Health, Life, Mental Health, PARENTING, postaday, Self-help
Smiles boost #EmotionalIntelligence. Making strangers smile or laugh is part of Practicing Kindness, one of my Daily Twelve Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises.
Daily Prompt: Make Me Smile If you’re feeling blah, what is the one thing you do that you can count on to put a smile on your face?
EMOTIONAL FITNESS TIP
Become a comedian.
I can’t tell you how much I love shopping. Not for what I buy, mostly food or toys for the grands. No, it is for the opportunity to josh or flirt with the humans operating the cash registers. Hate that technology has dwindled the number of people taking my money.
One of my favorite lines and usually in response to the “Did you find everything you wanted?” now required of most cashiers.
My “Get a laugh” response: “No. (pause for effect) I am still looking for the million dollars needed to keep up with the cost of living. Guess you haven’t found it either.”
Always gets a surprised look and a laugh that makes my day.
FREE POSTER COACH
Todays is the How to Become a Comedian.
LINKS OF INTEREST
Posted in EFTI news and views, Emotional intelligence tips
Tagged Become a comedian, Emotional fitness, Emotional fitness exercise, Emotional Fitness Training Inc., emotional health, Emotional intelligence, funny quotes, Health, humor, Katherine Gordy Levine, Mental Health, postaday, Psychology