Tag Archives: Mental Health

TIPS FOR ADDING TO GOOD MEMORIES – DAY FIVE

Do you hug hurt and enshrine it in your memory book?  Not good.  Emotional Fitness Training Exercise  Number Five suggests a better way.

Asking another to change

Psycho-babblers encourage hugging your hurts closely and indefinitely, particularly those from you childhood .  It started with the Inner Child movement and spread like wild-fire after a prolonged drought.

Why? Mainly, because we all have a hurt inner child.  Some have been battered, bruised, sexually assaulted, starved for love; most have just suffered the slings and arrows of good enough parenting.  Hugging either kind however, keeps you from living the good life.

What to do? Stop hugging the hurt and embrace the good. Those who survived any  holocaust lived better lives when they put the horror behind them. Not easy to do, but vital in order to take charge of your life and stop being victimized by your past.

A word of warning about some therapy particularly ongoing talk therapy. It leads to hugging the hurt and not letting it go.  Many think such work is useful, but the research shows only up to a point.  The most important thing is making sense of why bad things happen and then to move  on by embracing the good.

This exercise asks you to pay special attention to those responsible for all you have or are right now.  Some gave a great deal, others could not.  Each gave according the what they had been given.

If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors.  All of them are alive in this moment.  Each is present in your body.  You are the continuation of each of these people.

 Thick Naht Hanh

How to practice this exercise: The most powerful way to honor past gifts  is to focus on a memory of one person from your past who gave the gift of caring.  You can honor the gift from a different person each time you do the exercise.

You honor past gifts by taking a calming breath, shutting your eyes, and recalling  a time you and the person spent together when you felt cherished, cheered on, or otherwise nurtured. Such times are gifts of caring. When you honor such past gifts, you give yourself the caring all over again.

Your memory book has gifts of caring; otherwise you would not be seeking to improve your ability to care for yourself.  If you have trouble caring for yourself as you should, perhaps like many others those who cared  you were also abused in one way or another.  You can dwell on the hurt or on the good.  Remembering the good you have been given is healthier.

 God gave us memories that we might have roses in December. 

                                                                                                          J.M. Barrie

pARENTING TIPS

Parenting tip one:  Build as many good memories with your child as you can.

Parenting tip two:  Stop trying to make happiness a goal.  Better to teach acceptance of life as being full of good times and bad times.

Parenting tip three: Help your child exploit strengths and live with weaknesses.  Every human has both.  Studies show that more than love, children want praise for what they do well and they want to do well in the things that matter in their world.  The praise must be realistic and feel right to the child.

Parenting tip four:  Teach manners and practicing kindness.  Both will get your child further in life than academic or atheletic skills.

Parenting tip five: Promote the idea that no one controls all that happens.  There are blessings, miracles, good luck and bad luck. Our job as humans is to do the best with we can and accept what we cannot control with as much grace as possible.

BE KIND TO ME

Please rate this material. Doing so helps my social media ratings, but also lets me know what interests you most. Comments do the same.

This is what your stars will mean to me. No stars –Not good enough to rate; One star – Reinforced my knowledge –  Two Stars; New information –  Three stars;  New useful information; Four stars – Very good; Five stars – Excellent.

Thank you and work at staying strong until next time,. I work hard to do the same as life is often difficult but staying strong lets me find the good.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

FREE  STUFF FROM EFTI

All the handouts and poster coaches for this course are being posted at the store so you can download them for free. A poster coach is like a face-to-face coach; all serve as practice reminders, some teach you the exercises needed to stay strong.

To use one, after down loading it from the store, print it up preferably in cardstock and color, then post it where you will see it as you go about your day.

Apologies if you cannot find one.  I am a Jill of all in this business, so some things take longer than others.  If something used here isn’t posted yet, you will find lots of other offerings including inspirational quotes or more EFTI exercises. In time all will be posted.

DAILY PROMPT  In Due Time: What’s your next, most pressing deadline? Are you excited, stressed, or ambivalent about it? What’s the first thing you’d like to do once you’re done with it?

Having be able to retire from a paid job, my deadlines are of my own. Most related to efforts to promote EFTI. Doing this free  101 course gives me a daily deadline, and what will I feel when it is over?  Relief, but a bit of pride.

Two other deadlines loom.  One is beyond my control – my end.  The end of EFTI is also beyond my control for it will happen due to cognitive decline.

My regrets?  I have few for my life as a whole.  I have been blessed or lucky which ever best explains to you the course of your life.

More regrets  for the end of EFTI. Mainly that I have not found a legacy keeper for EFTI and that I was not able to turn it into a profitable  business.  I did the best I could given who I am and what I have had to work with and EFT has enlightened some and definitely let me live the good life.

That said I am still trying to find some legacy keepers or investors to make it profitable.  It does take some money to make money.  Interested? Let me know.

FIVE PLUS WAYS TO PRACTICE KINDNESS – DAY FOUR OF THE TWELVE DAYS OF EMOTIONAL FITNESS TRAINING

Practicing kindness is selfish; it gives you the most good.

Emotional Fitness Poster reminding you to Practice Kindness

As all the sages across all the ages and as today’s researchers know practicing kindness is the express lane to the good life.

There is much talk of Random Acts of Kindness and that is good. But a greater good comes to you when you practice Deliberate Kindness.

Go Beyond Random Kindness

 Parenting tipS

Parenting tip one: Manners teach kindness, so teach your children manners.

Parenting tip two; Condemn cruelty when you see cruel behavior. Point out cruel jokes, cruel acts.

Parenting tip three: Punish children for deliberate acts of cruelty.

Parenting tip four: Reward with a thank you your child’s acts of kindness.

Parenting tip five: Teach your children to give to the needy.  Three year olds love putting coins in various donations boxes.  Older children can give gently used toys, coats, other items to various charities or time at soup kitchens.

be kind to me

Please rate this material. Doing so helps my social media ratings, but also lets me know what interests you most. Comments do the same.

This is what your stars will mean to me. No stars –Not good enough to rate; One star – Reinforced my knowledge –  Two Stars; New information –  Three stars;  New useful information; Four stars – Very good; Five stars – Excellent.

Thank you and work at staying strong until next time,. I work hard to do the same as life is often difficult but staying strong lets me find the good.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

FREE  STUFF FROM EFTI

All the handouts and poster coaches for this course are being posted at the store so you can download them for free. A poster coach is like a face-to-face coach; all serve as practice reminders, some teach you the exercises needed to stay strong.

To use one, after down loading it from the store, print it up preferably in cardstock and color, then post it where you will see it as you go about your day.

Apologies if you cannot find one.  I am a Jill of all in this business, so some things take longer than others.  If something used here isn’t posted yet, you will find lots of other offerings including inspirational quotes or more EFTI exercises. In time all will be posted.

DAILY PROMPT   The Object of My Dejection  – Tell us about the object of your dejection — something you made, a masterpiece unfinished, or some sort of project that failed to meet your expectations. What did you learn from the experience? How would you do things differently next time?

How this fits in with today’s EFTI Post:  I was raised to think poorly of money-grubbing. So I have consistently under sold myself and Emotional Fitness Training.

I have lead a good life, but EFTI will probably be buried with me and I wish I had done better selling it.  A bit more money would have made it a viable business that could live on.

That said I am still trying to find a some legacy keepers or investors who will work to keep it going for at least a few more years.  Interested?

HOW TO REMEMBER WHAT MATTERS – DAY TWO OF THE TWELVE DAYS OF EMOTIONAL FITNESS EXERCISES

Thanking and remembering the Creator of all was the reason for what are now mainly secular holidays  urging you to buy. The important stuff gets forgotten.

#emotionalintelligence building blog post.Remembering what matters

Throughout all religions and  philosophies it is believed the good life cannot be found unless it involves being caring and just t0 all.  That is what matters.

It is easy to  get caught up in believing  owning the newest car, the latest fashions, the most up to date gadgets; others say how you look; still others think it is how smart you are or what school you went to, how much money you have matter. And yes, those things have a place, but are not what matter.   What matters is the kind of person you are. What matters most is being kind and caring.

Self care is not enough.  If you don’t act to make the world better, self-care becomes banal narcissism.  No matter what else you want to achieve in your life, remember to be kind, just, generous and caring, not just to those you love, but to all.    That is what matters and what needs to be remembered.

Humanity is programmed to be kind and caring, when we turn from that we turn from our inner good and that twists our being.  As  the poet Edgar Guest noted, “I have to live with myself and so, I want to be fit for myself to know.”

How to practice this exercise:  Before you climb out of bed each morning, take a minute to Be Grateful-why that is the first of the Twelve Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises; then take another moment to think about what matters.

Then throughout the day, when stressed, take a Calming Breath and remind yourself what matters. You won’t bring peace on earth, but you will bring more peace into your heart

Enhancement: Having a brief written mission statement printed up and posted were you can read it as you start you day, strengthens your resolve to remember what matters.  .

Don’t know about mission statements?  Get EFT’s eBook Know Your Mission So You Can Reach Your Goals.  Cost less than a movie and does more good.

parenting tips

Parenting tip one: Just using the words “Remember what matters” starts your child thinking and thinking about what matters is key to emotional fitness.

Parenting tip two: Teaching rating scales helps keep everything in perspective and can start with toddlers.

Parenting tip three: Devote some family meetings to talking about what matters.

PRACTICE KINDNESS

Please rate this material. Doing so helps my social media ratings, but also lets me know what interests you most. Comments do the same.

This is what your stars will mean to me. No stars –Not good enough to rate; One star – Reinforced my knowledge –  Two Stars; New information –  Three stars;  New useful information; Four stars – Very good; Five stars – Excellent.

Thank you and work at staying strong until next time,. I work hard to do the same as life is often difficult but staying strong lets me find the good.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

FREE  STUFF FROM EFTI

All the handouts and poster coaches for this course are being posted at the store so you can download them for free. A poster coach is like a face-to-face coach; all serve as practice reminders, some teach you the exercises needed to stay strong.

To use one, after down loading it from the store, print it up preferably in cardstock and color, then post it where you will see it as you go about your day.

Apologies if you cannot find one.  I am a Jill of all in this business, so some things take longer than others.  If something used here isn’t posted yet, you will find lots of other offerings including inspirational quotes or more EFTI exercises. In time all will be posted.

DAILY PROMPT   Unsung Heroes  We all have our semi-secret, less-known personal favorites — a great B-side, an early work by an artist that later became famous, an obscure (but delicious) family recipe. Share one of your unsung heroes with us — how did you discover it? Why has it stayed off everyone’s radar?

My parents, who never had material success, but knew what mattered.  Next? All my many dogs who also knew what mattered.

How this fits in with today’s EFTI Post:  The true heros of life are those who teach you want matters.

HOW TO PRACTICE A DAILY EMOTIONAL FITNESS EXERCISE PROGRAM -

Tomorrow starts 12 days of Easy Emotional fitness (aka emotional intelligence). EFT’s holiday gift to help you manage stress, bad, sad, and mad feelings.

wavy staying strong
This is a repost, to prepare you for the coming 12 Days of Emotional Fitness Easy Exercises.

You probably already do many of these things. However,  walking is good exercise, power walking is better, and  proper practice of these every day things turns up their power.   To be most helpful each exercise must be practiced with full awareness.

That is done by meditating before and after the exercise.  Sound too difficult? Nor once you have learned and practiced  EFT’s One Minute Meditation.

A one minute meditation

PARENTING TIPs

Parenting tip one: Catch your kids as they do these exercises. For example: When a child is upset and finally calms down, murmur praise for calming down.

Parenting tip two: Show them your pleasure when you do one of them. Be with beauty is one that starts working early. Laugh and play start before sitting up; and create can be added when the child is playing with clay, building blocks, or coloring.

Parenting tip three: Teach good manners early on.  Learning to say thank you early on teaches gratitude and practicing kindness.

PRACTICE KINDNESS

Please rate this material. Doing so helps my social media ratings, but also lets me know what interests you most. Comments also help.

This is what your stars will mean to me. No stars – Not helpful; One star – Reinforced my knowledge –  Two Stars; New information –  Three stars;  New useful information; Four stars – Very good; Five stars – Excellent.

Thank you and work at staying strong until next time,. I work hard to do the same as life is often difficult but staying strong lets me find the good.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

FREE  STUFF FROM EFTI

All the handouts and poster coaches for this course are being posted at the store so you can download them for free. A poster coach is like a face-to-face coach; all serve as practice reminders, some teach you the exercises needed to stay strong.

To use one, after down loading it from the store, print it up preferably in cardstock and color, then post it where you will see it as you go about your day.

Apologies if you cannot find one.  I am a Jill of all in this business, so some things take longer than others.  If something used here isn’t posted yet, you will find lots of other offerings including inspirational quotes or more EFTI exercises. In time all will be posted.