Tag Archives: postaday

HOW TO USE FEELING THERMOMETERS – SESSION EIGHT

Congratulations, you are now ready to move on to the second Emotional Fitness Training  Skill: Measuring Feelings. Go here for previous course sessions. 

Measuring happiness on a feeling thermometer

 You can get a free copy of this one by going here.

Why measure feelings? So you can spot when a bossy feeling is trying to take over and get you to do things you will regret.

Here is another feeling thermometer, this one measures stress leading to anger.

#emotionalintelligence blog post #anger management feeling thermometer

You can get a free copy of this one by going here.

To use either of these feeling thermometer’s, print the chosen one up, preferably in color and on card stock, but black and white and plain paper will do.  Post where you will see it most often during the day.  When you see it, take a quick calming breath, and note your feeling temperature.  Go on about your day.

What to do if your temperature is getting into the danger zone. Much more about that a bit later in the course.  For now, if anger is growing, slow down, take a break, breath calmly, use some positive self talk to stay calm, and do not do what anger suggests  instead think about how to act wisely.

If sadness is starting to take over, take action;  sadness is mostly a shut down emotion.  Doing  something productive defeats its efforts to pull you even further down; healthy action of any kind lifts your spirits.

Remember, if you are hurting yourself or others because a negative feeling keeps bossing you, get professional help, call 911 if you are thinking seriously of killing yourself or another. Otherwise call a professional crisis help line. Here is list of the many that are available:

WHAT’S NEXT

Next session: How to Create a Personal Feeling Thermometer. Why do you need to do that? Because all feelings are subjective and a general feeling thermometer like the two show here, do not capture your feelings as well as a personal one.

As always thank you for all you do including liking, commenting, or sharing.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

POST INSPIRATION: DAILY PROMPT

I often use these prompts to spark my posts.  They can also be used to improve your critical thinking is the heart of emotional intelligence.

You can think about them as they are stated or use them to spark other thoughts which is what I usually do. Most can be related to Emotional Fitness. How? Well here is the prompt that connects to this post. I’ll answer it and tell you how I relate it to Emotional Fitness.

Ready, set, done – Our ten-minute free-write is back! Have no mercy on your keyboard as you give us your most unfiltered self (feel free to edit later, or just publish as-is).

How this relates to emotional fitness and today’s post.  It doesn’t except that I start all my writing efforts by just letting my fingers do the walking, then I edit lots and still do not get it right.

As I have noted before, I have dysgraphia and am not rich enough to hire an editor, so my posts and other products are not perfect.  That makes me cringe when I find an error.

There is, however, good news.  My dysgraphia has been a major reason for  my eventually learning “Good enough” is “Good enough.” That helped me defeat shame.  For me “Good enough”  means if one of you stumbles through my errors and finds a bit of wisdom that is perfection for me.

FREE STUFF FROM EFTI

All the handouts for this course are being posted at the store so you can download them for free. You will find lots of other  offerings including inspirational quotes or more EFTI exercises. Go there and subscribe to be notified of new additions.

PRACTICE KINDNESS

Please rate this material. Doing so helps me ratings.  This is what your stars will mean to me. No stars – Not helpful. One star – Reinforced my knowledge. Two  Stars –  New  information.   Three stars – New useful information; Four stars- Very good.   Five stars – Excellent.

Thank you and stay strong.

HOW EMOTIONALLY FIT ARE YOU – A BRIEF TEST

This is not a research validated test, but a way to get you thinking about how well you handle negative feelings.  Thinking is a key emotional fitness skill.

The Emotional Fitness Game Plan involves being able to recognize when negative feelings are visiting you, measuring their strength so you can act quickly enough to keep the feeling from high jacking your brain and getting you to do things you regret.

What your scores mean.  Score a high of 40? Only happens if you are fudging or the Dali Lama.  Most people score somewhere between 20 and 30. Below 20, you might be currently dealing with a major trauma – addressed in question 7; or you might need more direct help, try the following.

  1. Boost your support team up with friends and family to  become each other’s cheer leaders.
  2. Subscribe to some daily support via the internet. Follow EFT’s blog for example.
  3. Find a  support group.  On line ones are available.
  4. Think about a life coach.
  5. Get some therapy
  6. Think medication as well as therapy.
  7. Making plans to kill or physically harm yourself or another? Call 911 now and ask  where to go for help.          

Too much stigma is attached to getting therapy.  It can be life saving. The problem is the right kind of therapy for the difficulties facing you.

That is too much to go into now, however, I do suggest looking for someone who sets SMART goals which uses a standardized feedback system to measure progress. Those who research such things say, you should see some movement toward your goal by the end of six sessions.  If not, they suggest seeking another therapist.

Use this test  to see if this  course makes a difference in your ability to handle negative feelings.  Take the test now, and jot down your score. Take it off and on as you take the course.  Generally, you start to gain better control after completing the first six sessions, but the best improvement should be seen after completing the self soothing skills section which comes after you learn to measure feelings.  Hopefully, your score will improve; if not, several things are possible:

  1. The course just isn’t working for you.
  2. You are not practicing the exercises enough.
  3. You need something more, get it, you deserve the good life.

I did not plan a post today.  Wednesday is catch up day and this morning I was trying to straighten out and improve the 101 Free Course.  The need for a quick measurement so you could see if the course was helping you, jumped out at me, hence this post.  So I am posting.

WHAT’S NEXT

Next session moves on to the Second skill – measuring feelings and will be devoted to teaching you how to create a personal feeling thermometer. Why do that, so you can spot when a bossy feeling is trying to take over and get you to do things you will regret.

As always thank you for all you do including liking, commenting, or sharing.

Katherine

P.S. This was P.S. was prompted by a reader who asked by question seven’s horrific events were given a five rating.  Good question. Here is why I did that:  Horrific events either destroy or make you stronger. Anyone taking this little test was not destroyed, is moving ahead and deserves to have recognition of that fact. Hence the five.

Do feel free to ask questions if something is unclear or confuses you. Rest assured it probably confuses others also.

LINKS OF INTEREST

POST INSPIRATION: DAILY PROMPT

I often use these prompts to spark my posts.  They can also be used to improve your critical thinking is the heart of emotional intelligence.

You can think about them as they are stated or use them to spark other thoughts which is what I usually do. Most can be related to Emotional Fitness. How? Well here is the prompt that connects to this post. I’ll answer it and tell you how I relate it to Emotional Fitness.

Imaginary Friend

Many of us had imaginary friends as young children. If your imaginary friend grew up alongside you, what would his/her/its life be like today? (Didn’t have one? write about a non-imaginary friend you haven’t seen since childhood.)

How this relates to emotional fitness and today’s post.  Only in the sense that I think our inner voices are left over friends and in many ways and can become  helpful friends.  I write hoping to become such a friend.

FREE STUFF FROM EFTI

All the handouts for this course are being posted at the store so you can download them for free. You will find lots of other  offerings including inspirational quotes or more EFTI exercises. Go there and subscribe to be notified of new additions.

PRACTICE KINDNESS

Please rate this material. Doing so helps me ratings.  This is what your stars will mean to me. No stars – Not helpful. One star – Reinforced my knowledge. Two  Stars –  New  information.   Three stars – New useful information; Four stars- Very good.   Five stars – Excellent.

Thank you and stay strong.

Cartoon IMAGE BY ponderingprinciples  all others by EFTI.

How To Forgive Others and Yourself – Five tips

As a Jew this is the time of year to examine your behavior, seek forgiveness when you have failed go follow the right path, forgive others, and move forward.

Forgiveness quote

Emotional fitness thoughts

A guilty conscience is the first line of punishment. Forgiving others begins with realizing your need for forgiveness and examining your guilty conscience.  Why? Doing so connects you to what Judaism calls your  “Evil Inclinations.”

We all “Evil Inclinations”  These are the  selfish parts of each human that seeks personal needs without regard to others. Knowing our capacity for evil builds empathy, not just for yourself, but for those who do evil.

The second of the ten commandments prohibits  Idolatry.   The simplest way to think of the sin of Idolatry is to see it as “I Idolize I.”  I put my needs and wants above all others and do not care how others are hurt when I am seeking to meet my wants and desires.

Judaism’s  central premise of ethical  behavior is not to hurt others in ways you do not want to be hurt. The central mission of Judaism is the practice of Tikkun Olam, repairing the universe – trying to bring about a just and kind world.

Sins are not just personal faults or mis-doings according to Judaism.  On Yom Kippur all observant Jews will gather to confess not only their personal sins but all sins.  I have not murdered, but I will confess to murder; I will confess all sins whether I have personally sinned or not.

Why must I confess other people’s sins? Because when a member of the community sins, all in the community have failed, and therefore, all have sinned.

Emotional fitness tips

 Tip one: Make practicing forgiveness a daily exercise.  Here’s one of my Poster Coaches laying out an easy forgiveness exercise. It starts with forgiving yourself.

forgiveness exercise

 Tip two:  Find a community to support justice and mercy. We need justice in the world because evil takes over individuals and then evil individuals come together to overrule justice and kindness. We need a community because we need support in our efforts to practice justice and kindeness.

Tip three: Stay safe and keep other’s safe.  Forgiveness does not mean allowing yourself to be endangered or physically assaulted.

This is why I want  karate Peace Dojo’s to part of every educational facility. The world would be better if  all  students were taught what Peace Dojo’s teach.

Tip four: Grow both your self-awareness and your understanding of why others behave as they do. As one sage said, “To understand all is to forgive all.”

Tip five: Do not be swayed by evil beliefs dressed in fancy clothes. Here are five examples:

  1. Your parents, friends,  teachers, preachers, celebrities, journalists, politicians,  world leaders all speak the truth and nothing but the truth. Truth is in the eye of the beholder at least when spilled forth from a human mouth or pen or brain. You need to read oppositional points of view and even then your biases will often lead you to simple but not complete views of the truth.
  2. Things will make you happy: Despite all that the admen want you to believe, things cannot make you happy. Nor can winning the lottery, becoming a media star, being prettier, or having more money in the bank.
  3. You can have it all:  Just not possible. You can have lots, but no one has it all.
  4. You can just do it: Oprah says if she became a star anyone can. She lies. She demeans her talents and drive. She also sets a side luck meaning she had people who believed in her and she was in the right place at the right time. Imagine if she had been born before Lincoln freed the slaves.
  5. Follow your heart, your gut or your intuition.  Love is blind, murderers follow their guy, intuition only works some of the time. Marrying thought and heart, gut, intuition works best.

Stay STrong

At the moment of our death,  some say, our  lives flash before our eyes. Getting stuck in the viewing the evil we have done is my personal idea of hell.   We know deep in our hearts all we have done wrong.  Not just the stuff of our personal consciences which are dictated by our culture, our families, and our personal experiences, but the stuff  viewed by the eyes of the Creator, the Higher Power, or what most of us call our God.

One of the thoughts about Yom Kippur, is that is the day God judges humankind, but then leaves the throne of justice and sits on the throne of mercy.  From that throne forgiveness is given all who see they have sinned and seek to sin no more.

Knowing what matters and knowing that is being kind, makes forgiving all th more possible. My Mission and Goals E-book elaborates on that concept.

If you like this post share it with another.  That is practicing deliberate kindness which is another easy Emotional Fitness Exercise and the sublect of today’s Free Poster Coach.

As always, thank you for your support.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

POST INSPIRATION

Word Press’s Post of the Day:   Howl at the Moon – “Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness.” Do you follow Ginsberg’s advice — in your writing and/or in your everyday life?

Yes, I howl at the moon, but I try to remember what matters and to behave accordingly.

FREE STUFF FROM EFTI

Go to the EFTI store and browse its offerings for inspirational quotes or exercises. Go there and subscribe to be notified of new additions.

 

How To Settle For Good Enough – Five Tips

Today’s WordPress Challenge was to write for ten minutes and then stop and publish. You could edit, but  I have chosen not to edit. Why? Read on.

3 =2 =7 Dunce

That’s me, I cannot do math. But this post is about  disgryphia, a writting disoprder I also have. And how I still managed to publish two in print books and 20 ebooks. Dysgraphia taught my a number of things.  Those things? Living with imperfection is one.  When you can’t do something the way you want, you either keep trying or stop.  Many with learning disabilities and dysgprahia to one of two thinggs:

  1. Descide what they want to do cannot by done perfection and so stop. Ofen decdiding they are stupid.
  2. keep trying and failing and feeling bad.
  3. Keep trying and have a bit of success, but still feel stupid.

I fall into the third category.  I kept trying. There are lessons in why I kept trying.

One: was I had other talentes.  I loved reading and did not have dsylexia.  In the long run if you want to writed being a good reader helps. I also am very bright. Not bragging and I didn’t think so until well into my 50’s but I do think better than the average bear.

Two: My father loved wrting - he was a news reproter and published his own small weekly newspaper.  Parents model what matters.

Eary arly on I wanted to be an newspaper reporter. It was important to my dad and thereor important to me. And very soon I started loving to write also.

Three; IHad teacers who honored my strengths.  They saw  that I was bright inspite of my defiecientces.  They encouraged my brain more than perfection. Ture, my poor spelling lead to slightly lower grades, but my strengths carried me on.

Four: Along wtih caring teachers, I gree wup with lots less pressoure about school an d higher education than the kids to day. I loved learning and still do. Not that school was all fun.  I failed lots  – I also have dyscalculai and cannot do may/  I  basically passed my math courses on the kindness of teachers wjp would give me the lowest possible passing grade, but pass me.   I would not make it trhough todya’s testing.

Fvie:  Word processing came along and that mean I could corredt enough errors to get published. what I wronte that I had enough success to keep trying.

Six: Then I became a foster parent and in time my husband and I  cared for over 300 kids, 4 to 6 at a time,  all needing a home for a hort period of time.  Some a few days, others everal months.

Our kids were mostly teens and all in trouble with the law. Caring for so many troubled teens  became asomething unique to write about and eventually sell. My book Wehen Good Kids Do Bad Things  writing almost 40 years agot things is now available as an ebook and that has lead to getting other books published.

Seven:  I learned when good enough was good enough, perfection was  not needed.

EightLO leaned to live with failure, somthing kids donn’t get practice doing today.

Nine: Out of those lessons I developed my Emotional Fitness Programs and because life made me practece what I preach, I learned to focus on what matters, soothe myself when things got bad, live in the good as much as I possible.

Good life lessons that I am still trying to pass on.

Ten I learend when trying wa s not enough and that I could not do all I hoped or wanted to do. .

EMOTIONAL fITNESS TIPs

Tip one:  Perfection is rarely needed.  Even nerosurgerons only need to be neer perfect and I guess accountants would not keep their jobs if they could not do math. But do take the time to think about what needs to be near perfect, what is good enough, what should be done no matter how badly, and what can be left undone.

Tip two:Do as much of what you love as often as you can whether it breings success or just fthe joy of doing.

Tip three: Develop manners and a good work ethic. Most of us will not be stars and many of us will have to work at jobs we do not like inorder to pay the rest. Life. Manners and a good work ethic are job finders and keepers.

Tip four: Have a mission that matters and learn to set SMART goals and I have writtne a book about that.  SMART goals help you know when to stop. 

Tip five: Practice kindness and be grateful for all you have. 

STAY STRONG

Not mentioned inthe things I learned was that two things are needed to be a success in addition to some talent and hard work.  Those two things: luck and resources.

I had the luck to have a good brain, some talents and some of the essential resources.  The most essential resources are people who care and who have faith in you as you are.  My parents gave me that support; my teachers and eventually my editors gave me the dind of support needed to become a moderately successful writher.

I have not had the financial resources needed to hire help that would make my blog and ebook writing more successful.  Which is why it matters athat I love sharing knowledge and writing my blog.

There is a form of luck we ofther overlook.  My paretns also taught me that what really matters is whether you are kind and working to make the world better. You do have to have your personal phsycialc surviala needs to have the time and energy to practice kindness.  But the world is full of people who are barely surving, living in war zones and still manage daily acts o f kindness.  The more we have the more we are  obligated to help those who have less. when we have the emotinal strength or physical strength to help others we are among the luckiest.

If you like this post share it with another.  That is practicing deliberate kindness which is another easy Emotional Fitness Exercise and the sublect of today’s Free Poster Coach.

As always, thank you for your support.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

FREE STUFF FROM EFTI

Go to the EFTI store and browse its offerings for inspirational quotes or exercises. Go there and subscribe to be notified of new additions.

Practice Deliberate Kindness ass an Emotional Fitness Exercise.

All EFTI Poster Coaches are offered as free digitial downloads at the EFTI Store.

 POST INSPIRATION

This post was prompted by this Word Press DAILY PROMPT: Ready, Set, Done – Our weekly free-write is back: take ten minutes — no pauses! — to write about anything, unfiltered and unedited. You can then publish the post as-is, or edit a bit first — your call.

You have read the results.

 Image by blue pencililu.com