Tag Archives: postaday

3 Tips for Being You – A Matter of Style

Are you a slave to fashion? Do the retailers love you? Or are you you? What’s your uniform.

Quotes about style

I was something of a freak during my adolescence. Mainly because my growth spurt took me to 5′ 11″ and 1/2 inches by the time I entered sixth grade. Moreover I was skinnier than Twiggy at a day and age when Marilyn Monroe was the fashion Icon. I towered over all the boys and a few of the male teachers. Not pleasant.

When I complained to my mother about being asked repeatedly “How’s the weather up there?” she told me to “Spit in their eye and tell them its raining.”

She knew I was too shy and well mannered to do  that, but it did become my inner voice’s response to such remarks. Helped lots.

Emotional Fitness Training Thoughts and Tips

We all wear uniforms. Even the poorest of the poor have one, not one of their own making, but of poverty’s making. Why is this? Because we are social creatures. Also because we have a deep-seated need to be who we are. But another reason is that we rank each other.

Ranking ourselves would be fine if we ranked our behavior more than our outer trappings.  But that tends to get lost in the fashions proclaiming our riches or our status. Think Kings and Popes, Queens and Generals. Crowns, Metals, and Jewel.

What to do?

Emotional Fitness Tip one: Remember What Matters. What matters is always how you treat others for that is the reflection of who you really are. Practice kindness.

Emotional Fitness Tip two: Be Grateful for All You Have Been Given. You are truly among the privileged class if you can afford to follow fashion. Two thoughts.

The first: Do it in your own way and because it speaks to you and not just the fad of the day.

The second: Do it within your means. Lots of money? Do not be a bargain hunter. The people who work in the fashion industry need you to buy at the highest possible price.

On a limited income: Go for the discounts, the consignment shops, the thrift stores.  That is where I do more and more of my shopping.

Emotional Fitness Tip three: Practice imperfection. My hair is now a lovely silver, but that did mean enduring a period of mousiness when the brown was turning gray.

Coehol's story of Narcissus

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Please Practice Kindness by sharing all you find of value on the internet including this post.  All here crave recognition.

A like says “Thank You.”

Comments say you have read and thought about the post.

Sharing is a gift to three people: the blogger, the people you share with, and you for your kindness bless you.

Stay strong, it is not always easy.

Katherine

This post was inspired by this   Word Press Daily Post Prompt:  Style Icon -Describe your personal style, however you’d like to interpret that — your clothing style, your communication style, your hair style, your eating style, anything.

Too varied to describe, but then that does bespeak my style. Natural in the sense of no make-up, no dying my hair, and no plastic surgery. Prefer jeans or pants to dresses, tops that show a bit of bosom but worn with a shirt of some sort to camouflage e my weight. See I do have my vanities. I also dress for the occasion so have a number of modest shirts and tops to wear to shul or other places requiring a bit of modesty.

I have a friend, I admire most for her uniform is very simple and very much her. Always black shirt, black pants or skirts. Always the same timeless style.  I try for that, but David dear wants more color and more variety and has an aversion to all black.  Takes me back to Nina Garcia’s quote. Here are a more.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

 

How to Find the Spice of Life

Some like it hot and some like it cold, but for the ingredients to a good life, try practicing the Twelve Daily Emotional Fitness Exercises.

FG staying strong

Directions for  four of the easiest exercises can be found here.

Today’s short and easy post was inspired  by this WordPress Daily Prompt:  Ingredients – What’s the one item in your kitchen you can’t possibly cook without? A spice, your grandma’s measuring cup, instant ramen — what’s your magic ingredient, and why?

As one saying goes “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy.”  I practice what I teach and that keeps me much happier and that is the magic ingredient that makes my food fit for all.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Remember sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Didn’t like it?  Comment and tell me why and how to improve.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

 

3 Times You Need to Ask for Help

Struggling? Don’t know what to do or how to do it? You need  help, but first a laugh.

Asking for help joke

An old one, but worth thinking about.

Too many people think it is a sign of weakness to ask for help. It isn’t. In fact most often it is the smart think to do. The very rich know that, although they do not think of paying people to do stuff for you as asking for help. It is, and it is the source of the today’s tips.

Emotional Fitness tip one: Ask for all the help you can get that you can afford to pay for, so you can do more of what you love.

Emotional Fitness tip two:  Ask for help when your own efforts do not succeed after trying a few times.

Emotional Fitness tip three: Think about asking for help if others suggest it is needed. There is a Yiddish proverb that relates to this.“If one person calls you an ass pay no mmd, but if  two people call you an ass buy a saddle. “

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Remember sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Didn’t like it?  Comment and tell me why and how to improve.

Katherine

This Emotional Fitness Post was not inspired by this WordPress Daily Prompt: A Dog Named Bob: You have 20 minutes to write a post that includes the words mailbox, bluejay, plate, syrup, and ink. And one more detail… the story must include a dog named Bob.

This prompt arrived via email and was not delivered to my mail box, by a blue jay disguised as the USA post man. However as I was licking the last of the syrup from my breakfast plate of pancakes, a  mean, barking dog named Bob jumped on to my patio, spilled the bottle of ink foolishly left there by my husband and sent me scurrying to my computer to do the day’s WordPress prompt.

And that took ten not twenty minutes. .

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

 

 

3 TIps to Avoid Being Victimized by False Expectations Appearing Real –

Do others see you through the eyes of prejudice? Do you victimize others by thinking you see them clearly when you do not? Some quotes to think about:

Prejudice quotess

This post is related to this WordPress Daily Prompt: A Mystery Wrapped in an Enigma. Tell us something most people probably don’t know about you.

Actually, more than the prompt, I found  a response to my two previous  blog posts promoting sexual rules provoking me to write a bit about prejudice. One  person expressed outrage at the posts and only  saw part of me. That  caught both of us in the snare of prejudice.

Prejudice is a view of another person based on an incomplete picture of who they are. Dividing people into groups that let you think you know all about the people in the group is the stuff of prejudice and the fears that accompany it. See only color in thinking about a person – racism at work. See only religion and another prejudice at work. The list goes on and on.

Think you are not prejudice? Think again. We all are victims and dispensers of prejudice. Prejudice fuels fear and fear fuels anger. When angry you are in danger of victimizing others.

Jerome Kagan is the current human development theorist I respect the most.  The sages of Torah and Shakespeare are my earlier favorites.  Kagan made me a fan with his stance on uncertainty as a prime reason we do what we do.  He was not the only theorist to see this, but the one who finally seemed to work the most carefully in exploring this idea and other theories. I also liked him because he challenges much of the popular thinking about how we become who we become and mis-informs much mental health treatment.

Kagan makes the point that the infant takes in his or her environment and assumes that what s/he sees is what should be. Then around the age of three, those early images form the filter through which new or different experiences are judged. Many judgments reflect parental or cultural teachings, but many do not and are the child’s personal way of trying to make sense of life.

This relates to prejudice in the following ways.

  1. All humans have an inborn genetically based fear of the unknown -fear of the dark, fear of the strange, fear of the new, and fear of the different. These fears are part of Nature’s survival tools.  Such fears fuel our fight or flight reactions.
  2. These fears are uncertainties about what is happening or going to happen.
  3. Fears and uncertainties fuel unpleasant feelings and push us to act to bring back a sense of safety.  Blaming, getting angry and attacking the person or thing creating uncertainty is one consequence. Blaming yourself and feeling guilt, shame, weak or incompetent is another consequence. When you blame yourself you might also seek to better at controlling the behaviors that you think are at fault.

Several years of wrestling with how we become who we become lead me to pull together many ideas. This picture depicts my model, but only partly.

What makes us us - my theory.

This is simplified because the number of arrows and  influences go in many different ways and are  unlimited in number. particularly, when depicting individuals.

Some quick definitions are also in order.

  1. Nature refers to our genetic make-up, but also the changes brought to our biology by disease, injury, and trauma.
  2. Nurture refers to what we experience in our environments as we grow, but also as adults; earlier experiences do seem to be more powerful, but drastic changes in our beings and behavior can and do occur across every life stage.
  3. Beliefs refers to the ideas we form that guide our thoughts and actions as we traverse life and try to make sense out of what happens to us.
  4. Behavior is self-evident as what we do, but is often left out to the mix and it  strongly shapes  who we are.

Warning: My goal has always been to share knowledge in a way most can understand, and therefore may seem simplistic.  It is my hope that what I share will lead you to explore your ideas more fully, particularly those that make  you the person you are – self-awareness = emotional intelligence.

EMOTIONAL FITNESS TIPS

Emotional fitness tip one: The more passionate you feel  the more likely you are responding from your heart and personal experience and those are fertile soil for the seeds of prejudice.

Emotional fitness tip two: The more angrily someone attacks you the more they are responding from their heart and personal experiences and the more likely prejudice of one kind or another is operating.

Emotional fitness tip three: The fear and anger created by prejudices are best dealt with by facing them, staying calm, practicing kindness, looking for truth in the  other people’s view of things, and remembering what matters.

Not at all easy, but more hopeful for personal happiness and for creating peace on earth than fighting or fleeing.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Remember sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Didn’t like it?  Comment and tell me why and how to improve.

Katherine

 

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.