Tag Archives: postaday

How To Make a Job You Hate Bearable

Notice, I did not promise much, just to make a job you hate bearable. Expecting too much makes life unbearable.

Nothing erodes contentment as fast as false expectations. With today’s job market, nothing seems to hold out greater expectations than getting that degree. What to do?

Three Emotional Fitness Tips

Tip one:  Hold fast to the reality that a job is a job because you get paid to do it. Period. End of thought.

Tip two: As a poet once said, “I have to live with myself and so, I have to be good for myself to know…” Translation, live honorably, so no matter what you end up getting paid to do, you are good for you to know.

Of course, the question of what is honorable confuses many. Well, despite all those who protest there are no hard and fast moral laws — the sages of the ages and today’s researchers have discovered three.  Be caring and fair. are the first two, and it is the violation of the third that has lead the world astray. The third? Be caring and fair to all, not just those like you or in your circle of family and friends.

In terms of work, whatever you are paid to do, do it well, take pride in doing it well, and at the same time see yourself as part of a bigger world, a bigger universe that you are helping to run.

Tip three: Build contentment and happiness unrelated to work. Follow your dreams as long as following them brings contentment. EFTI’s business motto is “Make money doing good.”  It runs in the red but builds contentment and happiness for me first because it does some good and that matters to me, but also because I love the job of writing and getting thoughts out there that might help others.

Staying strong

If you have one of the worse jobs in the world you might find the above hard to pursue. Think about this, however, if you are living in extreme poverty any job might find you grateful to be paid to work.

Also think about this. The Irish have a saying, “Enough is a feast.” If you are reading this, you are not living in extreme poverty; moreover, no matter how poor you feel you are rich. Be grateful. You might not find this easy, but the more you just say “Thank you” off and on during the day, and particularly for what isn’t so nice, the more your life improves.

Thank you for all you do including liking, commenting, or sharing. Kindness is blesses the giver and the receiver.

Links of interest

 Word Press Daily Prompt Nightmare Job

In honor of Labor Day in North America, tell us what’s the one job you could never imagine yourself doing.

I’ve shoveled manure as a teen so I could ride horses for free.  I’ve been a parent and foster parent which means I have done almost every difficult job there is.  The hardest job for me, would probably be cleaning up vomit. Just the thought starts me gagging. However, there is a process known the behaviorists as habituation — you get used to almost everything that does not kill you. So probably in time, I could to the vomit stuff.  Life goes on, at least until it ends. Until then stay strong and make the most of what you have been given.

How to Make Super Nice – Sharing Secondhand Praise

Face to  face compliments are easily discounted, particularly those from parents or to bosses. Passing on another’s  praise is not so easily brushed aside.

without_a_compliment_priest_1185085

EMOTIONAL FITNESS THOUGHTS

All parents should read this post. Why? Well, I knew my youngest was entering the teen years although he was only eleven. How?  I praised him and he groaned.

Then he said: “You’re just my Mom.”

Ouch, but some  good side, for it hinted that he might believed I loved him despite any bad behavior. Down side, he was now discounting compliments. Not good for self-esteem and meant he might be missing out on lots of other compliments.

So parents, look for the nice things others say about your child and pass them on.

Bosses and all others in authority also discount compliments and because many people make nice to “suck” up. The boss above may  have missed or discouned sincere compliments. Again, passing along second-hand praise works best as a compliment.

Emotional fitness training Tip

Emotional fitness tip one: Always, and I mean always, pass on second-hand compliments or praise.  (Well, maybe not about”How much stronger the local bully is than you are” when he is trying to pick a fight.)

Otherwise, pass on every nice thing you hear another person saying about someone you know. The old chewing gum motto “Doubles the flavor, doubles the fun,”   triples the value of praise.  Three people profit:  you, the person you share the praise with, and the original complimentor.

Emotional fitness tip two:  Be sure to remark on how you agree with the original compliment.

Emotional fitness tip three:  Whether sharing a first or second-hand compliment if brushed off, I always, say something like “I mean what I say, take it in.”  That is not so necessary when you can find some secondhand praise to pass on but if the compliment gets shrugged off, a good strategy.

STAYING STRONG

Sincere compliments are a way to practice deliberate kindness.  Second-hand compliments extend the kindness.  Kindness is one of the Daily Twelve Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises and compliments are one way to go down the kindness path.

When I walked the mean streets of the Bronx and Manhatten, I got great pleasure from complimenting strangers and from their response I felt praised and grateful for the  smile and thank you I got in return.

Here is one of my EFTI Free Poster Coaches about practicing kindness.

Practice Kindness Emotional Fitness Poster Coach

Thank you for all you do including liking, commenting, or sharing. Kindness is blesses the giver and the receiver.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

WORD PRESS daily post CHALLENGE

As noted above, this inspired me to write about second-hand compliments. However, I also recall overhearing two friends saying,”Her face lights up when she smile.”  I don’t know if they were talking about me, but some part of my heart thought they were and that off-hand over heard comment, erased the shyness created by an over bite.  I smiled more and as smiles make you happy as well as who you smile at happy, I was not the only one benefitting..

EFTI Free stuff

Browse the EFTI store for a free downloads of emotional fitness tips, exercises, quotes all designed to improve your #emotionalintelligence. The poster coaches are best used printed up in color on card stock and then posted where seen often and serving as you personal staying strong, emotional fitness  coach.

If you down-load someof our poster coaches, please think about make a donation, via a tip. We are not for profit but only because we make no profit, not because we are tax deductible. Tips  are our way of asking for help.

Three Ways to Shrug Off Nastiness

Three Ways to End Hurtful Discussions

Another’s stupidity or angry ranting always pushes you to raise your voice and fight back; but fighting angry yelling by yelling back never works. Never.

The louder one yells, the less one is heard, the more anger grows.

Image by http://funny-pictures.picphotos.net/

Emotional fitness thoughts and tips

We are told to “Let it all out.”  Not good unless done the way Aristotle suggests in his famous quote: “Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.”

What to do?  The following three  tips are based on both the wisdom of the aging and the most current research about how to follow Aristotle’s advice:

Emotional Fitness Tip One:  The angrier you or another are, the more important to respond softly and with compassion. Anger always covers hurt or fear.  Always. Responding to the hurt or fear diminishes anger and makes finding a solutions more likely.  When that seems impossible, take a time out.

If a time out  is not possible, such as, when  a boss is ranting at you; listen without responding except to say “Yes” when you can agree.

Emotional Fitness Tip Two: Strong self-soothing skills make soft and compassionate responses more possible. Try this one:

Soft face poster

Such exercises only work if practiced diligently and at first when not angry.  EFTI’s self-soothing exercises are designed to be practiced quickly so they can be put into play over and over again each day.  Go here to learn four of the easiest. 

Emotional Fitness Tip Three: Stay safe.  Know how to defend yourself if physical attack seems likely. If I could wave a magic want over our educational system, it would be to include Peace Dojos teaching conflict resolution and self-defense as required courses beginning in kindergarten.  Many colleges require passing a  swimming tests in order to graduate.  I would like all high school graduates and GED holders to be required to have a certificate of accomplishment from a Peace Dojo before moving on to college.

STAY STRONG

Remember what matters: view anger as a signal  something is wrong.   Start with yourself.

As  most of what makes us angry starts in our feelings about ourselves, ask “What is hurting me.”

Are you jealous? Jealousy is a major source of world violence and that includes jealousy of those who seem smarter, happier, or in almost anyway better than we feel we are.

Then there is fear we might become like someone not valued by others: think of anorexia, homophobia not to mention not wanting to be over 30.

Being a sinner or seen as a sinner is part of this type of fear. This fear or worry is  part of religious divides. But is also part of each person’s personal idea about what is moral behavior.

For the religious fear of sinning can lead to fanaticism, but also to failed efforts to stay good. Wonder why sometimes the most religious fall from grace? Think of priests, ministers, or rabbis who commit adultery or worse abuse children.  Knowing their darker sides, they tried to stay strong thought faith, but failed.

Also,  remember we all want to be in control.  We believe our fate is in our hands, particularly in Western culture that constantly tells us “Just do it,” or “Follow your dream.”  Fact: We do not control all.  When our control is threatened, our anger grows.

The failure of control is  part of our  righteous indignation when we see an obvious injustice.

Another  question to ask yourself when angry, particularly about what you see as an injustice against another is to ask youself  who you “identify with.” Who grabs your heartthe  most.

These are the questions one must also think about when anger is growing in another.  Some when seeing an underlying cause of another’s anger are tempted to speak about that. Don’t. Instead, wait until the person’s ranting and anger seems to be cooling down a bit. Then ask, “What can I do to help?”

I hope all the above helps you deal better with anger. If so, think of sharing it with someone who can make good  use of it and who will not feel you are attacking them.

As always for all you do, thank you.

Katherine

EFTI FREE POSTER COACH

Get a free digital download of Soft Face and Strong Body. Then post it where you will see it and it will remind you to practice this amazing self-soothing exercise.

LINKS OF INTEREST

Word Press Daily post prompt

This  DAILY POST Prompt  inspired this blog post: Discussion Enders; We’ve all had exchanges where we came up with the perfect reply — ten minutes too late. Write down one of those, but this time, make sure to sign off with your grand slam (unused) zinger.

My response?  Zingers only fuel anger and there is too much anger and too mucn taking even petty revenge by zinging someone.