Tag Archives: postaday

How To Beat The Everyday Blues

Daily life is like the weather: full of highs and lows, sunny days and rainy days, blizzards and hurricanes. Weathering life’s storms is a learned skill.

Tips for finding contentment


New to Emotional Fitness Exercises?  Start with these four easy ones. But also read the following. Emotional Fitness Training’s exercises are neither therapy,  the Ten Commandments, nor miracles that fall in your lap against all odds.

EFTI’s exercises are research based power walks to add strength to your emotional intelligence. Some exercises  and tips work for some people, but not all.

As is said in many similar  programs “It works if you work it.”  That means just doing it. When it doesn’t work more is needed. More might mean, less stress, better goals, more support and outside help.

Try an EFTI program for six weeks.  Life cannot always be good, but it should be good or okay most days; when it is not, get help. Add support and that might mean  therapy or medication. You deserve to be the to star in your life and that is possible for all.


Visit my Parents Are People Too Blog for advice to help you and your child live good lives.  As I learned as a foster parent and director of mental health crisis teams, in NYCity before, during, and after 9/11, if you cannot handle your emotions, you cannot expect others, particularly children to handle theirs.


Remember sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Didn’t like it?  Comment and tell me why and how to improve.

Thank you.


POST INSPIRATION not from this Daily Posts Prompt but fits with it. Coming To a Bookshelf Near You: Write a summary of the book you’ve always wanted to write for the back cover of its dust jacket.

I’ve written lots of books. What I really want said on the next one? Another best seller by Katherine Gordy Levine. Realistic advice that rivals Oprah, Dr. Phil, and all other self-help gurus.

Following the daily prompts and seeing how they fit a post I am writing, is one of my personal emotional fitness exercises. Makes me think a bit and that is always good exercise particularly for an aging brain. Often I write the post first, but sometimes I start with the prompt.


How To Be A Victor, Not A Victim

Victims of things like earthquakes who pick up the shattered shards of their lives and go on are victors. Victors vacate the land of  Victimhood as soon as possible .









Emotional Fitness Thoughts and Tip

Victim is most broadly defined as …”a person who suffers from a destructive or injurious action,”   but the definition extends often to mean mostly when the suffering act is created by  another person.

Victimhood  most potent brew is mixed when the suffering comes because of the actions of more powerful others target members of a group suffering from the ills of poverty, racism, or religious persecution – witness  protests surrounding the police or solders whose efforts to serve and protect lead to the death of a civilian or many civilians.

When trying to thinking about victims, here another quote is worth thinking about; this one by   S. I. Hayakawa, “If you see in any given situation only what everybody else can see, you can be said to be so much a representative of your culture that you are a victim of it.”

Hayakawa is talking about herd mentality which starts by hanging around with those who think like you do and that begins with your parents and their friends, those in your neighborhood, and when you move into your teens or early adulthood your peer group.

Teens are young adults are those most easily pulled into “wilding behavior.”  Wilding originally meant a cultivated plant that escaped its gardener’s control.  Fits well with the efforts of teens and young adults to escape the confines of family.

Emotional fitness tip one: Question the crowd, particularly your crowd, and your crowd’s interpretation of events.  Jerome Kagan, Harvard researcher of renown believes one of the things who we identify with is an important factor in how we act. Kids identify with their parents, but teens and young adults identify with their peers.

Emotional fitness tip two: Understand the perks of victimhood. Here’s a list of those perks. control. How can being victim make people feel like they’re in control?

  1. Victims  get attention.
  2. Victims escape responsibility as blaming someone is lots easier than taking  responsibility for your actions; if you are not responsible, you do not  have to change.
  3. Victims’ feelings get validated.
  4. Victims get permission to act out rage and anger.

Emotional fitness tip three; Understand the heavy price tag that goes with victimhood.  Here is a list what the researches say are the negative consequences of victimhood:

  1. Low self-esteem
  2. The constant burden of anger and resentment
  3. Social problems including distrust and stunted life skill development
  4. Feelings of powerlessness
  5. Vulnerability to predators

Emotional Fitness tip four: Act instead of reacting and that means thinking about what matters.  Humanities genetic inheritance as evidence throughout all the generations works to keep us safe. That means when we have suffered some pain, the pain gets strongly embedded in our brains and if threatened with a similar pain we flee or fight. In other words we act on instinct and without thought. Not useful. Even a few minutes thought before running or fighting can be  life saving.

Emotional Fitness tip five: Live in the now. Victims live in the past and many in their ancestor’s past. Doing so all too often carries fear, anger, and hate forward. Practicing the following Emotional Fitness Traning Exercises strengthens the ability to do so: Remembering What Matters and Practicing Forgiveness.


Parenting tip one:   Be alert to complaining – yours, your child’s, any and everyone else’s. Complaing promotes victimhood.

Parenting tip two:  Remember to value of rating.  When someone is hurt ask how hurt.

Parenting tip three; Boost self-soothing skills, you but particularly your childs. 

Parenting tip four: Give little attention to memories of past hurts. If the child brings such a hurt up, ask “What did that teach you?” or say, “That was then, this is now.”

Parenting tip five:  Teach you child right behavior early on. Four rules do it: Respect self, respect others, respect property, obey reasonable rules.  

Parenting tip six:  Promote thoughtful action to right wrongs. Rioting is not a thoughtful action. Peaceful protests are. Make sure your child knows the difference.


Remember sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Thank you.


POST INSPIRATION Came partly from this WordPress Daily Prompt: Fearful Symmetry: Pick a letter, any letter. Now, write a story, poem, or post in which every line starts with that letter.

I managed some symmetry, but not much. Life goes on.



How To Make Stressful Moments Better

Be With Beauty is an Emotional Fitness Exercise when practiced properly improves most stressful moments.

Be with beauty emotionalfitness exercise.

Go here to get a free digital download of this EFTI Poster Coach.

We all struggle. No matter how rich or powerful a person is  stress is part of  his or her life.  Emotional fitness exercises have proven helpful to all, but are not pie in the sky.  Those struggling with  poverty, wars, domestic violence physical or emotional abuse,  and major mental illnesses need more.

That said, two paths  lead to  good life: Remembering What Matters is the first and most important. Next comes learning to self-sooth and often that involves doing what Marsha Linehan calls “Improving the Moment.  Be With Beauty is one of  Emotional Fitness Exercises designed  to improve the moment.


Life is rarely easy.  Others do the best they can; you do the best you can. As much as we try often the best any of us can do is disappointing.  The solution? Be gentle on all, yourself included.Keep working to stay strong, I work hard to do the same  and I do not always succeed.

Remember’s sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Thank you.



I use WordPress Daily prompts to get me thinking more about what matters. Here is the one that inspired this post: Roy G. Biv  Write about anything you’d like, but make sure that all seven colors of the rainbow — red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet — make an appearance in the post, either through word or image.




How To Speak So the Deaf Can Hear #2

Playing off yesterday’s blog post but also responding to this Word Press prompt:Powerful Suggestion  about help advice.

Speaking so the hard of hearing can understand

Actually, I changed the prompt to suit my post. Figure as a contrary cranky old lady, and WordPress consumer changing their prompts  is my privilege. And if WordPress doesn’t like it tough steak.

The  prompt actually asked: “What’s the one piece of advice you wish someone had given you a year (or five, or ten…) ago?”  Practicing kindness is the best advice for all. and it was my father’ motto and has served me well with a bit of moderation.  The moderation: Do not be kind to evil, and be able to defend yourself when attacked physically.


Remember’s sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Thank you.