Tag Archives: Practicing kindness

The Best of Life

Another quick response to a Daily Prompt.  Can you guess the prompt from this Poster Coach?

Practice Kindness Emotional Fitness Poster Coach

All Emotional Fitness Poster Coaches are available at the EFTIstore as a free digital download. To use, print up in color on card stock and post where you will see it regularly.

No the prompt is not being kind. Good guess, however.   Here it is: Nothin’ But A Good TimeImagine that tomorrow, all of your duties and obligations evaporate for the day. You get the day all to yourself, to do anything you please. What types of fun activities would make your day?

My response? I am retired, so most days I get to do my thing almost all the time. My good times come from Practicing Kindness.  That includes complimenting strangers; joking around with cashiers; playing with my grand children — really playing down on my hands and knees; liking and sharing what I find of value n the internet, and sharing my hard-earned  knowledge about staying strong on my blogs and Pinterest page.

Kindness is good Karma for when you practice it, it always comes back to bless you.  As always thank you for all you do, particularly in terms of spreading kindness.

Katherine

Be kind to you, practice kindness

Another short post about practicing kindness, one of the 12 Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises designed to strengthen your #emotionalintelligence.

I want to be a law libraian because I like helping people, even lawyers

REMEMBER WHAT MATTERS: Practicing kindness when you dislike, don’t know, or think of the other as an enemy is the truest path to Peace on Earth.

This post resonates with the following Word Press  Daily Prompt: Teach Your (Bloggers) Well  We all know how to do something well — write a post that teaches readers how to do something you know and/or love to do.

Mostly I teach about kindness. I try to teach by the Rule of Three. See one, do one, teach one.  I saw kindness practiced constantly as I grew up.  I was born in a small town during the Great Depression. World War II was part of my childhood. When the war ended,   the Marshall plan  treated the defeated Germany and Japan with kindness.  So I saw kindness all around me during my early years.

I was taught to do kindness by both my parents.  My father would not speak ill of any one, nor seek revenge for wrongs done to him.

As he noted, “Life will revenge the cruel of heart.”

My mother practiced kindness in a thousand ways. I think her care and kindness toward animals was my first lesson in practicing kindness.

I now try to teach the value of kindness. I do so just as much as kindness toward myself as for others. So maybe it is only a selfish act.  Still it makes my world better and hopefully other people benefit also.

My Poster Coaches are my newest effort to make a bit of money while trying to practicing kindness. Most are offered as a free digital download, although I hope some will buy hard copies.

A teacher recently said this about how she uses my Poster Coaches in her classroom: ” … they are great to laminate, stick in a binder, or even tape onto a desk. The ideas are, as usual, endless, and should be individualized for every kiddo.”

She was referring specifically to EFIT”s Feeling Thermometers, but her words ring true for  every poster coach I have created.   Go here to browse the current offerings.  More are added almost daily.

Here is about  Emotional Fitness Training Poster Coaches about ways to practice kindness.

Practice Kindness Emotional Fitness Poster Coach

Thank you for all you do. I am particularly grateful to those who practice internet kindness by liking, rating, commenting, or sharing my posts.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

TELL THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH

Truth or dare prompt from Word Press: Is honesty always the best policy? EFTI’s answer: #Emotionalintelligence suggests almost always.

If you want honest relationships and what else is life about, you have to tell the truth and hope the other person does.  The best advice for being honest comes from the  12 Step people who suggest: “Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don’t say it mean.

Here is a long but great blog about lying and how much of it is done in our world. It comes with a plea for honesty and some links to other posts by Altucher.  He shots from the hip and is one of the loves I share with my husband who first sent me a post of his. I even took the picture above from him.  Wonder if he asks for permission to use all the pictures he uses.  Bet not.  Maybe I’ll ask him.  Maybe he has a secretary that does so for him.  I don’t, but I do try to give credit.

7 Things Happen to You When You Are Completely Honest Altucher Confidential

The post is long so here are the seven things:

#1: PEOPLE WILL STOP SPEAKING TO YOU

Forget personal branding. Start to dip your toes into personal honesty. Let me tell you what will happen. Your family might stop speaking to you.

I have experienced this not just from myself but all of the bloggers I consider “honest bloggers”. Some  of your friends will also stop speaking to you. Some of your colleagues will avoid you. Some investors will shun you. Your personal “network” will transform and shift.

#2 PEOPLE WILL THINK YOU ARE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF

The next thing that will happen is people will ask “are you killing yourself?” Because every blog post almost seems like a suicide note. 

#3 PEOPLE WILL THINK YOU ARE CRAZY

Then people will send emails to your friends, “is he as crazy as he sounds?” And that’s how I make friends now because introductions will be made and people will have to find out for themselves.

#4 PEOPLE WILL GET FRIGHTENED

So they will call you names. Oh, that guy is just trying to be a “contrarian”, for instance. Or an “idiot”. Or worse. I’ve been called everything. I had to call the Brown University Public Safety office the other day because I got emailed a death threat and the guy didn’t think I could track him. The guy was a senior and had also apparently threatened the life of a librarian there.

They need to understand why you are telling the truth. Why you are being honest about what you really think. In meetings at the office everyone is quiet. You’re not supposed to speak up. So people will dislike you, try to put you down, post comments, whatever. In many cases (but not all) these are what I call “crappy people”. And here’s how to deal with them. 

#5 PEOPLE WILL FIND YOU ENTERTAINING

Then finally, people will come back to you. Because you’re entertaining – if 20000 people are lying and only 1 person is telling the truth then that 1 person is going to stand taller than anyone. At first people will come back to you for voyeuristic reasons. Why? Because they know if they watch Real Housewives they aren’t watching anything “Real” and they aren’t watching “Housewives”. But you’re real. So they want to know what you’ll do next.

#6 PEOPLE WILL TRUST YOUR ADVICE

People will also come back for advice. Not always because they agree with you. But because they know the advice is coming from the heart and not because there is anything for sale. It’s like Google can’t cure anything. But they can direct you to all the people who can. So you go back to Google because you might not always find what you want but at least you know they are trying hard to direct you to the right place.

We’ve all hidden our failures in dark comets orbiting the peripheral edges  of the solar system, where the sun is dark and faded. But when someone brings their orbit close  to the sun we want to land there for a brief moment and see if actual living conditions exist. And if so, then maybe a small settlement can be formed, advice can be asked, a failure can be related to, a friendship can be formed.

#7 YOU BECOME FREE

At first we hug our boundaries in chains. We think “if we tell the girl we like her, she might not like me back”. We think, “If I say I like this candidate, my friends might hate me.” If I say X, everyone else might say Y. And so on. But more and more we start to feel where those boundaries are and we push them out. We push them further and further away from ourselves. Until finally they are so far away it’s as if they don’t exist at all. You don’t need money for that. Or a big house. Or a fancy degree or car. Every day, just push out those boundaries a little further.

We reach for that freedom. We never truly get there. We’re always striving to see how far they can go, just like a little child with her parents. But eventually, the boundaries are so far away we begin to feel the pleasures of true freedom.

And it feels good.

End of the stuff from James.

Emotional fitness tips:

If you practice kindness as I so often suggest, you probably  tell white lies . The danger? Lying can be a habit.  I don’t like to hurt people, but I have come to believe lying  hurts people, even  white lie: “No, that dress does not make you look fat” when it does.

Three things you can do to buffer hurt when you  tell the truth.

  1. Prepare the person.  “You probably won’t like this, but I think it is important for you to know.”
  2. Wrap it in positives.  The best truth is delivered in a sandwich.  I think of my sandwiches of truth  as horseradish layered in soft bread between cream cheese.
  3. Make an amends later on.  Do or say something nice an hour or so later because the sandwich niceness is not enough.

stay strong  

Tell me and others if you like this post. Also tell me if you don’t and why.

If you know someone who will  find this post useful share it.  Three people will benefit.  The person you shared it with, me, and you.  Remember, kindness circles back to the giver, always.  Thank you.

Thank you for all you do, for me and for others.

Katherine

ALONE WITH SHAME

Today’s Daily Prompt: Sink or Swim  Shame seeks to isolate. Find out what people do not share and you find out what they shames them.   Here’s a poster I am currently ashamed of.  Can you see why?

How to meditate in one minute

My husband spotted the mistake on this one. Can you? It is probably easier to see than yesterdays error.  Shamed  me as this is one of the more popular posters. And no one mentioned the error until David, Mr Super Critic saw it on yesterday’s blog.

The Word Press prompt asked this: Tell us about a time when you were left on your own, to fend for yourself in an overwhelming situation — on the job, at home, at school. What was the outcome?

As noted above, shame isolates and leaves you on your own. My emotional fitness or #EmotionalIntelligence blog post yesterday discussed the shame I have battled most of my life because of dysgraphia, a learning disability connected to putting words on paper or on the internet.  When this is your lot in life you have trouble spelling, punctuating, following rules of grammar, and organizing your thoughts.  Creates lots of out right criticism as well as silent dismissal of any good that might accompany to the mistakes.

Most with this disorder turn away from writing. Four things kept me persevering: Love of reading which lead to wanting to be a writer, the blessing of good people including many teachers who looked past the errors to the content;  an inborn stubbornness, and the  advent of word processing and the computer with it’s little read lines helping someone like me spot the majority of my errors.

In my forties my odd life as a therapist turned foster parent made an interesting enough story that two books I wrote were published. “When Good Kids Do Bad Things, A Survival Guide for Parents” and Parents are People Too, An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents.  Emotional Fitness was my attempt to better sell #EmotionalFitness. Both the editors of these books stopped being editors during the time they were editing my book. I like to think it was because one of my messages what Remember Your Mission and another Take Care of You.  It could also just be that having to deal with my dysgraphia added to other frustrations of editing.

My current mission is to share tips and knowledge about how to get and stay emotionally fit.  I think the desire to teach and share came from the teachers who saw my strengths and not my errors.  I also had a mother gifted in care giving and that was part of the mix.  So I share.

I can hear the more grammatically correct among you saying don’t publish anything until someone else has edited. True, true, true, and probably most true for my newest brain child, Emotional Fitness Training’s Poster Coaches.  I feel hampered by two things – one: my advancing age which plays into my being a bit hyperactive and eager to get something published every day, and my lack of funds to pay for help.  I do plan to ask David to start perusing my posters in the hopes they will become error free. My eBooks are edited. My blogs are mine alone and although the mistakes are few they crop up.

As I noted in yesterday’s blog shame is kept from ruling your life if you do three things. (1) Check reality to make sure you should not feel shame? Are you doing something unforgiveable? Shame is then appropriate.  (2) Practice the OMM as described above. (3) Keep doing what shames wants you to stop.

I post about my weakness and what shame wants me to keep hidden do loosen its hold on me.  I call doing so Practicing Imperfection.  None of us is perfect, it is not the human path; moreover, when you think about what matters, good enough and almost good that strives to be kind to self and others matters more than any thing the media suggests being.

MAKING AMENDS

If you have downloaded a poster coach with an error. Let me know the error, I will correct it and send you a new copy.  As soon as I publish this post, I will correct the OMM and keep it as a free-be for the next week.

Stay strong

Remember shame is only useful in keeping you from harming others. Otherwise, smile as often as you can, be grateful, practice kindness, and continue doing what shames says you should not do. Shame is powerful, but can be kept from keeping you from doing all you should be doing for a happier life.

As always, share and care what you find helps you get and stay emotionally strong.   I hope if you find my posts of value, you will  practice internet kindness liking, rating, commenting, or sharing.

Thank you for all you do and as always work to stay strong, not always easy, but worth while.

Katherine

Links and articles of interest