Tag Archives: Practicing kindness


Who do you hate?  Where did you learn that hatred. Hatred destroys your heart, so improve your #emotionalintelligence and learn to love even those you hate.

You've got to be taught to hate.

emotional fitness THOUGHTS AND TIPS

Human nature is such that we fear what is different.  If that fear gets linked to  personal internal hurts , hatred brews. Here are five common  examples of what I mean by internal hurts.

  1. You judge yourself as less smart, less strong, less talented than a person of difference.
  2. You have less wealth than a person of a difference.
  3. A person of difference beats you in a race, a game.
  4. A person of difference seems more respected by others than you feel respect you.
  5. Your view of your higher power is challenged by a different one.

Hatred brews more easily when the voices around you promote hatred and join hands with your personal hurt. The more voices preaching hate, the easier it is to justify your hate.

Some cultures raise their children on hatred of difference. Some do it directly.  Go here to see  what one group teaches its children. Others do it less directly. How? Think of any group that says those who believe differently are damned and doomed to spend eternity in hell. Also think of media messages that promote competition or divisiveness.

I think of the Long Island Railroad mass killer Colin Ferguson as someone whose hatred festered because of failed dreams, personal hurts, the slings and arrows of thoughtless other people, and of the preachings of hatred. Born in Jamaica, he came to the USA expecting to find great success, freedom and tolerance. He did not find success, he found racism, and he heard the preachings of hate groups.

It is a testimony to the goodness of most people that meeting with the same conditions, they do not turn murderous.

Hatred involves twisted thinking.  Here is a list of such   fallaciesThe fallacies most at play in hatred of differences are  incorrectly linking cause and effect, generalizing, and ad hominem.

To remind yourself to work at learning love, download today’s free  poster coach about learning love and post it where you  will see it.  when you see it, recite Hammerstein’s lyrics to shut out thoughts of hate.


The more you have been taught to hate differences, the harder it will be to learn love.  However, if the world is going to move past war, loving difference is essential.   Make learning to love  one of your life’s missions.

A brief Torah lesson.  The letter twelve in Hebrew stands for diversity, for example the twelve tribes. The letter for thirteen is a sacred letter and stands for oneness meaning the source of all.  Idol worship as taught by the Jewish Sages refers to the splitting of the sacred into the twelve and worshipping not the oneness of all, but one or another part or piece or tribe.

Thank you for all you do, enjoy and be grateful for all you have been given, practice kindness, like, share or comment.



This post relates to this DAILY PROMPT : Object Lesson – Sherlock Holmes had his pipe. Dorothy had her red shoes. Batman had his Batmobile. If we asked your friends what object they most immediately associate with you, what would they answer?

I would hope mine would be the peace symbol.


 IMAGE BY Emotional Fitness Training, Inc.  Free download.


A major aspect of Emotional Intelligence lies in the ability to let go of hurts and grudges. Here are three steps that make forgiveness possible.

Three steps to forgiveness

The more we can acknowledge our mistakes and frailties, the more we can forgive.


Hurt is a signal that something is wrong.  One can forgive others for being weak, for handling their hurt in ways that hurt others.  However, as many have noted, forgiveness does not mean you are granting permission to anyone, yourself included, to abuse another.

A wise way to seek to change unacceptable behavior is to seek the lesson such behavior often holds.  Maybe, the lesson is a relationship has to be ended; maybe the lesson is you need to practiced kindness more.

Finally, our current society has encouraged victimhood.   Think of efforts to only praise children or make sure every child participating in a sport gets a trophy.  Life is learning to lose some times and some things.

Think of efforts to rid our language of words that others find offensive.  Jokes are a good example.  I make Martian jokes, not jokes about groups of people. At the same time a joke is a joke and if it is in poor taste, that should be the teller’s problem, not yours.

Remember the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”

Not always true, and  in many cases learning to “Suck it up, buttercup” might be better than letting  hurtful words into your heart.

Thank you for all you do to Practice Kindness. Liking, commenting, or sharing any social media you find helpful is one way to be kind. It may seem like a little, however, doing a little matters a lot.


The above Poster Coach is available for a free download at the EFTI Store.

This post relates to this WordPress Daily Prompt I Can’t Stay Mad at You by KristaDo you hold grudges or do you believe in forgive and forget?

Obviously, I believe in forgiveness, It is one of the Daily 12 Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises.  Still  I agree with Bishop Tutu that forgiving does not mean forgetting or even staying in relationship with the person who hurts you.

As author  Richelle E. Goodrich notes, “Forgive and forget is the divine ideal. Grappling with the hurt while biting your tongue and struggling to refuse justifiable vengeance―that’s closer to human reality.”



The Best of Life

Another quick response to a Daily Prompt.  Can you guess the prompt from this Poster Coach?

Practice Kindness Emotional Fitness Poster Coach

All Emotional Fitness Poster Coaches are available at the EFTIstore as a free digital download. To use, print up in color on card stock and post where you will see it regularly.

No the prompt is not being kind. Good guess, however.   Here it is: Nothin’ But A Good TimeImagine that tomorrow, all of your duties and obligations evaporate for the day. You get the day all to yourself, to do anything you please. What types of fun activities would make your day?

My response? I am retired, so most days I get to do my thing almost all the time. My good times come from Practicing Kindness.  That includes complimenting strangers; joking around with cashiers; playing with my grand children — really playing down on my hands and knees; liking and sharing what I find of value n the internet, and sharing my hard-earned  knowledge about staying strong on my blogs and Pinterest page.

Kindness is good Karma for when you practice it, it always comes back to bless you.  As always thank you for all you do, particularly in terms of spreading kindness.


Be kind to you, practice kindness

Another short post about practicing kindness, one of the 12 Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises designed to strengthen your #emotionalintelligence.

I want to be a law libraian because I like helping people, even lawyers

REMEMBER WHAT MATTERS: Practicing kindness when you dislike, don’t know, or think of the other as an enemy is the truest path to Peace on Earth.

This post resonates with the following Word Press  Daily Prompt: Teach Your (Bloggers) Well  We all know how to do something well — write a post that teaches readers how to do something you know and/or love to do.

Mostly I teach about kindness. I try to teach by the Rule of Three. See one, do one, teach one.  I saw kindness practiced constantly as I grew up.  I was born in a small town during the Great Depression. World War II was part of my childhood. When the war ended,   the Marshall plan  treated the defeated Germany and Japan with kindness.  So I saw kindness all around me during my early years.

I was taught to do kindness by both my parents.  My father would not speak ill of any one, nor seek revenge for wrongs done to him.

As he noted, “Life will revenge the cruel of heart.”

My mother practiced kindness in a thousand ways. I think her care and kindness toward animals was my first lesson in practicing kindness.

I now try to teach the value of kindness. I do so just as much as kindness toward myself as for others. So maybe it is only a selfish act.  Still it makes my world better and hopefully other people benefit also.

My Poster Coaches are my newest effort to make a bit of money while trying to practicing kindness. Most are offered as a free digital download, although I hope some will buy hard copies.

A teacher recently said this about how she uses my Poster Coaches in her classroom: ” … they are great to laminate, stick in a binder, or even tape onto a desk. The ideas are, as usual, endless, and should be individualized for every kiddo.”

She was referring specifically to EFIT”s Feeling Thermometers, but her words ring true for  every poster coach I have created.   Go here to browse the current offerings.  More are added almost daily.

Here is about  Emotional Fitness Training Poster Coaches about ways to practice kindness.

Practice Kindness Emotional Fitness Poster Coach

Thank you for all you do. I am particularly grateful to those who practice internet kindness by liking, rating, commenting, or sharing my posts.