Tag Archives: Self-help

How To Make Stressful Moments Better

Be With Beauty is an Emotional Fitness Exercise when practiced properly improves most stressful moments.

Be with beauty emotionalfitness exercise.

Go here to get a free digital download of this EFTI Poster Coach.

We all struggle. No matter how rich or powerful a person is  stress is part of  his or her life.  Emotional fitness exercises have proven helpful to all, but are not pie in the sky.  Those struggling with  poverty, wars, domestic violence physical or emotional abuse,  and major mental illnesses need more.

That said, two paths  lead to  good life: Remembering What Matters is the first and most important. Next comes learning to self-sooth and often that involves doing what Marsha Linehan calls “Improving the Moment.  Be With Beauty is one of  Emotional Fitness Exercises designed  to improve the moment.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Life is rarely easy.  Others do the best they can; you do the best you can. As much as we try often the best any of us can do is disappointing.  The solution? Be gentle on all, yourself included.Keep working to stay strong, I work hard to do the same  and I do not always succeed.

Remember’s sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Thank you.

Katherine

ADDED BONUS: IMPROVE YOUR THINKING SKILLS 

I use WordPress Daily prompts to get me thinking more about what matters. Here is the one that inspired this post: Roy G. Biv  Write about anything you’d like, but make sure that all seven colors of the rainbow — red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet — make an appearance in the post, either through word or image.

ANOTHER ADDED BONUS: LINKS OF INTEREST

 

 

How To Speak So the Deaf Can Hear #2

Playing off yesterday’s blog post but also responding to this Word Press prompt:Powerful Suggestion  about help advice.

Speaking so the hard of hearing can understand

Actually, I changed the prompt to suit my post. Figure as a contrary cranky old lady, and WordPress consumer changing their prompts  is my privilege. And if WordPress doesn’t like it tough steak.

The  prompt actually asked: “What’s the one piece of advice you wish someone had given you a year (or five, or ten…) ago?”  Practicing kindness is the best advice for all. and it was my father’ motto and has served me well with a bit of moderation.  The moderation: Do not be kind to evil, and be able to defend yourself when attacked physically.

 THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Remember’s sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Thank you.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

ADD HAPPINESS TOOLS TO YOUR LIFE

The Happiness Gurus promote joining the work force only when you find a job your love. Not wise. Jobs pay the rent and feed you – happiness necessities.

quotes about jobs.

I’ve worked most of my 78 years. Started babysitting when I was twelve, mucked out stalls at thirteen in trade for riding lessons, planned to be just a wife and mother, but my first true love jilted me and I didn’t marry until I was in my thirties. Then I became a mother and then a foster-mother.

Career wise I stumbled into Social Work, was lucky enough to find I loved what I did and worked my way up to managing mental health programs and several professorships.

Eventually, I also became a published author, despite being learning disabled. Lucky me to find people always willing to help me be all I could be.

Because I mucked out stalls, I discovered friends and mentors in the laboring class. My family had fallen from the upper-class to the somewhat impoverished middle-class. The one who most gave me the most was Thomas Hardy, known around the stables as “Old Tom.”  As with all the grooms and stall-muckers of the time and at that place, he was a black man.

Thomas Hardy was a life raft for me throughout my teens and adult life. He kept me on target, made me earn the right to ride, cheered and comforted me.  He knew what mattered and that was caring, practicing kindness, working hard and taking pride in  work well done, no matter how menial.

Emotional fitness tip one:  Instead of seeking a job that makes you happy, figure out how to be happy in any job. 

Emotional fitness tip two: Value all who work, be grateful and practice kindness by thanking every person whose job makes your life easier. 

Emotional fitness tip three: Add happy moments to your life in all the safe and healthy ways you can. EFTI’s Easy Exercises add bits of pleasure to your life.

PARENTING TIPS

The saying we need to give our children wings and roots is a wise one. Roots do the hard work of pushing through soil, rocks, and all sorts of other stuff in order to grow.  Instilling a solid work ethic in your children strengthens their ability to do what has to be done in all aspects of life..

Parenting tip one: Start putting your kids to work as soon as they can walk well. That is the age they want to do every thing you do. Have them put dirty  clothes in a hamper, trash in the waste basket, toys in the toy box.

Parenting tip two: Teach them to value all who work. This can be done in lots of ways: Just thanking those who serve them is one. Seeing you say thank you to firemen, policemen, soldiers, and definitely garbage men.

Parenting tip three:  Start paying them young. Allowances should be divided into love allowance and earned allowance. The love allowance being much smaller.  As the teen years are entered upon gear your children up for real jobs by paying them to do some of the jobs you do around the house. Then when legally able to work at a part time job, have them get a job and begin assuming responsibilty to the wants of their life while you continue to provide for their basic needs.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Life is rarely easy.  Others do the best they can; you do the best you can. As much as we try often the best any of us can do is disappointing.  The solution? Be gentle on all, yourself included.Keep working to stay strong, I work hard to do the same  and I do not always succeed.

Remember’s sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Thank you.

Katherine

BROWSE THE EFTI STORE FREE STUFF NOW

Down load  a free  poster coach: Just like a live coach EFTI’s poster coaches inspire, teach, and motivate.  To use, print up in color and post there it will be seen often.  Poster Coaches can also be used at in the business world, in the class room or a family meeting  to provide a laugh, encourage critical thinking, remind all to think about what matters.

ADDED BONUS: IMPROVE YOUR THINKING SKILLS 

If I Had a Hammer: If you could learn a trade — say carpentry, electrical work, roofing, landscaping, plumbing, flooring, drywall — you name it — what skill(s) would you love to have in your back pocket?

This did inspire all of this post. The skill I would most love would be formatting eBooks so I could get more and more of what I think of as my intellectual property out there. Of course, if I were skilled at earning money, I could apprentice and pay some young people to help me with all that stuff.

LINKS OF INTEREST

LAUGH AT CRITICISM

Face it, criticism hurts. Hurt tells you to run away or stay and fight. Best way? Be grateful and decide for yourself to laugh it off or use it wisely.

Laughing at criticism

The  Happiness Gurus tell you “You are perfect just the way you are.”

They lie.

The makers of the classic movie Love Story believed  Love meant “never having to say you’re sorry.”

Another lie.

Remember, all  the sages across all the ages have bemoaned the fact that “Love is blind.”

Love may mean you never have to say you are sorry, but it also means you see the other person’s flaws as well as the good stuff.Virginia Satir, family therapist, believed  healthy relationships mean being able to tell each other who needed a deodorant.  Good to say the critical stuff kindly, but better to have it said; you can always make an amends if you say it mean.

EMOTIONAL FITNESS TiPS

Emotional Fitness tip one: Think about what matters.  Criticism only matters if fits you. That means you have to put aside emotions and think about yourself as if you were another person. Hard to do. The Rule of Three helps.  Than means wait until you have heard the same criticism at least three times and preferably from three different sources.

Emotional Fitness tip two:  Strengthen your self-soothing skills. Maybe it is time to buy my eBook about Creating Calm in Your Life. Minimally, learn these four Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises. 

PARENTING TIP

 Parenting tip one; Teach you child the rule of three.  That can start once your child starts walking by using Thomas Phelon’s One, Two, Three Magic. It really is magic in terms of disciplining.  In a nut shell, you give your child three chances to obey a rule, and then it is time out.

Parenting tip two: When the child is in third or fourth grade, talk directly about how to handle criticism.  At that point teach your child to respond in one of the following ways.

  1. “Thank you.”
  2. “I need to work on that.”
  3. “I am trying my hardest.”
  4. “I need time to think about what you are saying.”

Role play criticizing.    You be the critic and have your child practice saying the above you and s/he can figure out what to say when.

IMPROVE YOUR THINKING SKILLS NOW

DAILY PROMPT It’s a Text, Text, Text, Text World by Michelle W. How do you communicate differently online than in person, if at all? How do you communicate emotion and intent in a purely written medium?

Writing forces you to think a bit and that is practicing emotional fitness. Of course, some think little as they write so when angry don’t push send. Or do you disagree and think  “letting it all hang out” is more honest and best?

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Keep working to stay strong, I work hard to do the same . As noted above,  I am not perfect, no one is and this week;s post will be all about praising imperfection.

Remember’s sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Thank you.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

FREE POSTER COACHES 

Don’t think you can afford a life coach? Like a life coach, EFTI’s poster coaches inspire, teach, motivate, and reinforce thinking about what matters.  To use, print up in color and post there it will be seen often.  Poster Coaches can also be used at  Family Meetings to start a discussion about what matters or in a class room to encourage critical thinking.