Tag Archives: Staying Strong


Who do you hate?  Where did you learn that hatred. Hatred destroys your heart, so improve your #emotionalintelligence and learn to love even those you hate.

You've got to be taught to hate.

emotional fitness THOUGHTS AND TIPS

Human nature is such that we fear what is different.  If that fear gets linked to  personal internal hurts , hatred brews. Here are five common  examples of what I mean by internal hurts.

  1. You judge yourself as less smart, less strong, less talented than a person of difference.
  2. You have less wealth than a person of a difference.
  3. A person of difference beats you in a race, a game.
  4. A person of difference seems more respected by others than you feel respect you.
  5. Your view of your higher power is challenged by a different one.

Hatred brews more easily when the voices around you promote hatred and join hands with your personal hurt. The more voices preaching hate, the easier it is to justify your hate.

Some cultures raise their children on hatred of difference. Some do it directly.  Go here to see  what one group teaches its children. Others do it less directly. How? Think of any group that says those who believe differently are damned and doomed to spend eternity in hell. Also think of media messages that promote competition or divisiveness.

I think of the Long Island Railroad mass killer Colin Ferguson as someone whose hatred festered because of failed dreams, personal hurts, the slings and arrows of thoughtless other people, and of the preachings of hatred. Born in Jamaica, he came to the USA expecting to find great success, freedom and tolerance. He did not find success, he found racism, and he heard the preachings of hate groups.

It is a testimony to the goodness of most people that meeting with the same conditions, they do not turn murderous.

Hatred involves twisted thinking.  Here is a list of such   fallaciesThe fallacies most at play in hatred of differences are  incorrectly linking cause and effect, generalizing, and ad hominem.

To remind yourself to work at learning love, download today’s free  poster coach about learning love and post it where you  will see it.  when you see it, recite Hammerstein’s lyrics to shut out thoughts of hate.


The more you have been taught to hate differences, the harder it will be to learn love.  However, if the world is going to move past war, loving difference is essential.   Make learning to love  one of your life’s missions.

A brief Torah lesson.  The letter twelve in Hebrew stands for diversity, for example the twelve tribes. The letter for thirteen is a sacred letter and stands for oneness meaning the source of all.  Idol worship as taught by the Jewish Sages refers to the splitting of the sacred into the twelve and worshipping not the oneness of all, but one or another part or piece or tribe.

Thank you for all you do, enjoy and be grateful for all you have been given, practice kindness, like, share or comment.



This post relates to this DAILY PROMPT : Object Lesson - Sherlock Holmes had his pipe. Dorothy had her red shoes. Batman had his Batmobile. If we asked your friends what object they most immediately associate with you, what would they answer?

I would hope mine would be the peace symbol.


 IMAGE BY Emotional Fitness Training, Inc.  Free download.

Strong feelings? How strong?

#EmotionalIntelligence depends on the ability to both recognize what you are feeling and to keep tabs on that feeling’s strength.

Emotional Fitness Training and #Emotional Intelligence explained.

Here’s another feeling thermometer:

#emotionalintelligence blog post #anger management feeling thermometer

This is available free as a digital download Poster Coach at the EFTI Store. Printing it up and posting where you will see it throughout your day will boost your awareness of what you are feeling.


Tip one: Any feeling can be rated and the best rating is on a personal feeling thermometer. How to create one? Easy.  Follow these steps.

  1. Take a blank sheet of paper and draw a thermometer along the left hand side.  Divide it into ten readings.
  2. Decide whether the feeling you want to measure revs you up in all the wrong ways or shuts you down.
  3. Recall the worse behavior that feeling enticed you into doing. That is your extreme rating.
  4. Recall times that feeling could not ruffle your feathers. That is the opposite extreme rating.
  5. Fill in each point between the two extremes.
  6. Add names and feeling clues to each point. A feeling clue is anything that tells you the feeling is visiting at a certain level. Self-talk is one type of feeling clue; bodily sensations another.

Tip Two:  Post this where you will see it regularly and when you see it, ask your self what you are feeling and how strongly.

Tip Three: Use another regularly occurring event to signal you to take a feeling temperature. The ringing cell phone for example.

Tip four: For more detailed advice about improving your feeling awareness buy EFTI’s eBook Know Your Feelings , Become a Feeling Detective   It costs less than a latte or a big Mac.

Remember you don’t need a Kindle or other electronic book reader to read Kindle books. Amazon gives you a free application that lets you read their eBooks on-line. 


I hope you find my posts of value.  If you do,  practice internet kindness by liking, rating, commenting, or sharing.

Thank you for all you do and as always work to stay strong, which while is not  easy, more possible than you might think.

Love all,


The Daily Prompt for July 17th,2014 did not inspire this post.  That prompt: Nosey Delights: From the yeasty warmth of freshly baked bread to the clean, summery haze of lavender flowers, we all have favorite smells we find particularly comforting. What’s yours?

However, let me point out that a smell can be a feeling clue and smells that calm are important emotional fitness tools.


Images are by Emotional FItness Training Inc. and can be downloaded free at the EFTI Store. 


Smells take us back in time and hopefully to good memories. Good memories build Emotionalintelligence.  Here is a picture that takes me to a sweet smell  memory.

Do you recognize the picture? Honeysuckle. Is that a smell that serves to take you back to some good memories? Works for me as a bit of aroma therapy.

Some have made a profitable business of what is sold as aroma therapy.  What they sell works.  Our sense of smell is part of genetic survival tool kit.  Pleasant smells associated with pleasant events calm and signal all is well.  Disgusting smells, and most agree as to the most common ones, signal stay away.

When I was a child, my mother often drove down some wooded lanes to get to a little known mountain stream to fill water bottles.  The trip there and back was filled with the smell of honeysuckle.  A smell that still calms and soothes me.


Stay aware of the smells that calm you and add their presence to you life. Easily done today. Even the Dollar Store sells lotions, body creams, candles that bring sweet smells to you.  I like lavender, coconut and, of course, honeysuckle. However, I suggest sticking with one smell most of the time.


When young and beset with night fears, my youngest son asked to have his room sprayed with “Bug Spray.”   We thought he meant the Off, but he quickly showed us corrected us: he meant my perfume.  When he could smell my perfume it was as soothing as if I was in the room.  For a newborn,  create such an association by always using the same aroma on your person and in your child’s room.  For older children teach the power of smells to self-sooth


I hope if you find my posts of value.  If you do,  practice internet kindness by liking, rating, commenting, or sharing.

If you have downloaded a poster coach or an eBook  with an error, let me know and I will correct it and send you a new copy.

Thank you for all you do and as always work to stay strong, while not  easy, more possible than you might think.

Love all,


This post was inspired by this Word Press Daily Prompt: Seasonal Scents - S’mores, salty ocean breezes, veggie burgers on the grill, sweaty people on the bus — what’s the smell you associate the most with summer?




Twenty four hours without your electronic gadgets? Curse or blessing? A blessing when you know these Twelve Emotional Fitness Exercises.

FG staying strong

Emotional Fitness Training’s (EFT) Twelve Easy Exercises  turn everyday happenings into exercises that strengthen your emotional fitness – what the gurus call Emotional Intelligence. Each exercise is based on both research and what wise men and women have taught those seeking the good life to practice down the ages.  Daily practice of all twelve is a certain path to the good life. To be most helpful each exercise must be practiced with full awareness. That is done by meditating before and after the exercise.  Sound too difficult?  Not once you have learned and practiced  EFT’s One Minute Meditation.  Read on to learn how to OMM.

  1. Breathe in slowly through your mouth to a count of four
  2. Hold your breath for a count of seven.
  3. Breathe out slowly out your nose for a count of eight.
  4. Breathe normally and simply observe how it feels to breathe in and out.
  5. If thoughts make their presence known,  observe them and continue breathing; the same with feelings. Both are ever changing.
  6. At the end of a minute, sooner if you want, repeat the first three steps and as you breathe out, say a silent “Ahhhhhh” or “Thank you” while  smiling softly.

Practice the OMM until you can do it comfortably and without having to read the exercise.  That takes as little as five times for some, twenty-five for others.

Here’s an added bonus: the OMM can be used to calm you when stress mounts. When you are aware of being stressed, OMM. To strengthen its effect as a calming tool, after the first breath, add a two or three word calming mantra as you continue breathe in and out.  “Life goes on” works for some,   “Staying strong” for others, still others craft their own mantra.

All of the exercises with the exception of Move Your Body are designed to be practiced in a minute or two.  This means they can be practiced multiple times during the busiest day and the more practiced the more you strengthen your emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence, the ability to manage negative feelings,  is  more important than wealth, brains, or beauty in living the good life.


Some words about The Mission.  The importance of caring is a long recognized value. Across all ages, throughout all religions and all philosophies, it is believed the good life cannot be found unless it involves being caring and just. EFTI calls this The Mission.  We are all charged with moving the world forward by remembering and acting on the mission.

The wisdom of the ages has been upheld by research. Study after study has shown that being kind and caring, forgiving others for their flaws, forgiving yourself for not being perfect, and working with others to make the world a better place matters far more than the things we own, the way we look, or what degrees with have.  Remember The Mission, act on it and enjoy the good life. .

Thank you for all you do to Practice Kindness. Liking, commenting, or sharing any social media you find helpful is one way to be kind to yourself and to others. It may seem like a little, however, doing a little matters a lot.


This post was inspired by a Word Press DAILY PROMPT  Terminal Time:  You’re at the airport, your flight is delayed for six more hours, and none of your electronic devices is working. How do you pass the time?

As with all posters on EFTI’s blog, this one can be downloaded free from our store.