Tag Archives: Staying Strong

Laugh, Play, Pray, Make Something

Creativity, making something strengthens #emotionalintelligence. It is part of Laugh and Play, one of my Twelve Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises.

We are all creative

 Emotional Intelligence Fitness Thoughts

When we are lucky or as some say blessed, we know the pleasure of making something.  Perfectionism often gets in the way.  Part of what I talked about in yesterday’s parenting post.

I chose to make creativity part of laugh and play to remove it a bit from the perfectionist’s award table.  If it isn’t fun, it isn’t play. If it doesn’t make you laugh, it isn’t play.

As Bob Hope said  about play, “If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.”


Tip one: Find a do-it-yourself path that leaves you feeling good. Keep it small. Make a date to play this way daily for at least fifteen minutes a day.

Tip two: Some have found it best to work a bit every day on longer term projects. Crocheting was one of mine. Fifteen minutes a day and in time I had a finished project.  Some working on longer term projects might be  poets spend their fifteen minutes adding a line, or polishing one.I try to work a bit each day on my never ending novel.

Tip three: Warning work on good enough, not perfect.  I fall prey to wanting to make my writing error free. that too often means I re-write and re-write and re-write.  Those of you who follow me, now how I still fail to keep the word nazi’s happy. Sigh, but no money for an editor combined with dysgraphia equals defeat if I do not eventually settle for good enough. And that certainly is what keeps me from finishing my novel.  I did however, get one short story about it published under a pen name. Sexy stuff but if you want to read it go here. Begetting Merlin.  Warning it will cost you 99 cents to download and read. Forgive me.

By the way, I consider writing my end of life’s work, so I endure the frustration. The satisfaction comes  with pushing the publish button and greater satisfaction comes when someone shares.  I am still boosting my emotional fitness because a favorite blogger of mine Granny reports blogREBLOGGED MY POST. A firsy;  just remembering that fact fills me with gratitude and pleasure once again. Thank you Granny.

Tip four: Also try to find the pleasure in everyday tasks. As a Zen saying goes;

” Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water; after enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.”

Cooking is the best example of trying to do this for me.  Trying to cook three meals a day every day gets burdensome, more so now that I have to worry abit about hubby’s diabetic eating needs.   But if I look for the pleasure I find in feeding myself and others good food,  and in keeping the man I would occasionally like to murder alive, the pleasure overcomes the burden.


Thank you for all you do, particularly for sharing and caring. It matters and not just to the person you give to; it is a way of giving to yourself.


Today’s Word Press’s  DAILY PROMPT Handmade Tales - Automation has made it possible to produce so many objects — from bread to shoes — without the intervention of human hands (assuming that pressing a button doesn’t count). What things do you still prefer in their traditional, handmade version?

Think I’ve answered that above.



Two Old Men Thank Me

Yesterday’s EFTI post quoted  George Carlin , “…. the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids?”  #EmotionalIntelligence booster.

Picture of elderly couple and their dog.

The main man in my life, David not Punky, and me. The Punk is a teen; the humans have moved from the new old to the old stage. A bit shortened from yesterday.

This is a repost, shortened at one end and then expanded to cover what I learned from David’s unexpected visit to the ER yesterday afternoon. After I had bragged about how well we were doing. Ah well, pride plummets. Sometimes.

What I said yesterday.  I am pushing 80; it has taken years to get here.   And although  I would like the body, I had at 24, 34,  44 or even 64  I want that body only if I can  keep all I have experienced and learned from then to now. Will not happen.

Don’t think I am anti-young.  Never.  I love the young, the younger the better.  Love my grands, love the other kids in my life.  .I love flirting with the young men checking me out on-line at the food stores.  I like when I can make them laugh or blush with pleasure at the compliment I hurl at them.

I am delighted some of the “kids” I knew during my son’s growing up years, have friended me on Facebook.  Even more delighted when one of them likes something I say or actually comments on one of my posts.  The young give me hope, inspire, and often make my day.

That said, I get the  fear attached to aging.  I understand the difficulties of those approaching whatever years means they have passed from youth to middle age or  middle age to the new old or that age to old age and finally to frail old age.

I know when I look around while out and about, that I am  old and moving toward frail old.  Not happy.  However, denying reality is not the hall-mark of emotional intelligence and I do try to keep mine somewhat functional.

Nor is aging what bothers me most.  What I hate most is becoming invisible.  We humans thrive on the recognition of our kind.  Explains why as we age and those who knew us when and knew us best fade from our lives, some of us become cat ladies or dog men.  Sad, but the way life is in our youth oriented culture and we older folks start becoming invisible.

I do see as the boomers continue to age, the veneration of youth is hitting a slightly better balance. Love that Jamie Lee Curtis is displaying all her wrinkles.   Still the balance continues to venerate the young and dismiss the aging.

Have you noticed how many ads on television have  pre-schoolers lecturing parents and grand parents?  Scarier are the one that show the kindergarten set driving their daddy’s car with his approval.

To be balanced  we need the new visions of the young, but experienced wisdom of the old.

My decision to repeat this post was  inspired by this s Word Press DAILY PROMPT

Here it is.  Sudden Downpour “It was sunny when you left home, so you didn’t take an umbrella. An hour later, you’re caught in a torrential downpour. You run into the first store you can find — it happens to be a dark, slightly shabby antique store, full of old artifacts, books, and dust. The shop’s ancient proprietor walks out of the back room to greet you. Tell us what happens next!”

He recognizes me and reads my blog.  Fictional daydream of course.

He rushes to me, hugs me, and says, “Thank you, for blogging about the need to stand on the shoulders of giants and also for a bit of balance.  My name is “Atlas” and I need all the help I can get from the young people trying to hold up the world and keep it moving toward peace.

He smelled delightfully of Old Spice, conjuring up memories of the man who gave me my first sexy kiss, so I hugged him back and thought “Thanks for the memory.”

That was thank you number one.

Thank you number two came from my husband.  It was on our way back from a trip dehydration combined with diabetes had insisted he take to the emergency room.  He had served as a Marshall at Denver’s Rally Supporting Israel. And as I wasn’t there to nag him, had forgotten to wear his hat, forgotten to drink water then realized he was in danger and the good people he was with drove him to the emergency room.

As we were driving home, he said “Thank you.”

He also said, “I almost didn’t call you, and thought about taking a taxi.”

Well, that cranked me up a bit, and I said I would have sent him back to the ER if he hadn’t told me.

“What are we here for and still together if not to be there for one another at times like this.”

Of course, I knew two of his reasons for thinking about a taxi. First one: His earlier failure to listen to my “wifely advice. ( I hadn’t really wanted him to go to the rally, I had tried to get him to take it easy before going, and I reminded him to drink water.) He would have to admit some wrong, which like all men he hates doing.

Second reason; He doesn’t like to be a passenger when I am driving. In my defense let me say, I don’t like driving when he is in the car as he micro manages me almost more than I micro manage him.  But I am the one admitting to that source of friction. I’m such a Good Wife. Ha.

Anyway,  by the time I got to the ER he was ready to be discharged;  I tortured him a bit by asking the doctor sending him home to write on the discharge notes “Listen occasionally to your wife.”

He and the doctor had some funny things to say to each other about that and about wives. Of course.  Because of my poor hearing I didn’t get their jokes,and didn’t care. The point was made.

Learned something new, so here is an emotional fitness health tip for anyone aging and dealing with diabetes.  Filling up on water is not  the best strategy.  Contrary to what must advice columns advise; the latest research is a bit more balanced.

It was my asking how much water David  should drink that prompted the good doctor’s answer.  First, too much water for anyone thins the blood. But more worrisome is that  dehydration in someone with diabetes can trigger an electrolyte imbalance. Then water does not help. What diabetics should drink to stay hydrated are sugarless sports drinks as well as water.

How much water is too much water to drink?  My surfing has revealed this. Divide your weight in half.  That number reflects the amount of fluid you should consume each day.

Moreover, it need not be water. Other fluids substitute: milk is one,  coffee, tea, diet sodas, juices and even juicy food such as watermelon, apples, oranges, cucumbers, celery,  some lettuces, and tomatoes.

To restore electrolytes, sports drinks help, and if sugar is a concern the sugarless ones work. However,  here is what I gleaned from over an hour of internet surfing: a pinch of Kosher or Sea Salt (1/8th teaspoon)  in one eight ounce glass of water a day does as well as a bottled sports drink and is loads cheaper.

Try it in lemonade.  David likes flavored  water and I will add his  pinch to it.

One of my indulgences is salted maple syrup over vanilla ice cream.  Will use a bit of sea salt there for my daily dose.


Remember to practice kindness.  One way I try to practice kindness is by sharing information hoping at least one person will find it helpful.  I think the above might prove useful to one or two. Pass it on if you agree.

Also remember to practice gratitude. So here is a big thank you to  E.R. doctor Randy Jacobs at St Joseph’s Hospital in Denver, for laughing with us, treating us old ones as if we existed and still had some brains, and also for enlightening us about the need for not less water and more electrolyte balance.




Images by Emotional Fitness Training Inc.



Who do you hate?  Where did you learn that hatred. Hatred destroys your heart, so improve your #emotionalintelligence and learn to love even those you hate.

You've got to be taught to hate.

emotional fitness THOUGHTS AND TIPS

Human nature is such that we fear what is different.  If that fear gets linked to  personal internal hurts , hatred brews. Here are five common  examples of what I mean by internal hurts.

  1. You judge yourself as less smart, less strong, less talented than a person of difference.
  2. You have less wealth than a person of a difference.
  3. A person of difference beats you in a race, a game.
  4. A person of difference seems more respected by others than you feel respect you.
  5. Your view of your higher power is challenged by a different one.

Hatred brews more easily when the voices around you promote hatred and join hands with your personal hurt. The more voices preaching hate, the easier it is to justify your hate.

Some cultures raise their children on hatred of difference. Some do it directly.  Go here to see  what one group teaches its children. Others do it less directly. How? Think of any group that says those who believe differently are damned and doomed to spend eternity in hell. Also think of media messages that promote competition or divisiveness.

I think of the Long Island Railroad mass killer Colin Ferguson as someone whose hatred festered because of failed dreams, personal hurts, the slings and arrows of thoughtless other people, and of the preachings of hatred. Born in Jamaica, he came to the USA expecting to find great success, freedom and tolerance. He did not find success, he found racism, and he heard the preachings of hate groups.

It is a testimony to the goodness of most people that meeting with the same conditions, they do not turn murderous.

Hatred involves twisted thinking.  Here is a list of such   fallaciesThe fallacies most at play in hatred of differences are  incorrectly linking cause and effect, generalizing, and ad hominem.

To remind yourself to work at learning love, download today’s free  poster coach about learning love and post it where you  will see it.  when you see it, recite Hammerstein’s lyrics to shut out thoughts of hate.


The more you have been taught to hate differences, the harder it will be to learn love.  However, if the world is going to move past war, loving difference is essential.   Make learning to love  one of your life’s missions.

A brief Torah lesson.  The letter twelve in Hebrew stands for diversity, for example the twelve tribes. The letter for thirteen is a sacred letter and stands for oneness meaning the source of all.  Idol worship as taught by the Jewish Sages refers to the splitting of the sacred into the twelve and worshipping not the oneness of all, but one or another part or piece or tribe.

Thank you for all you do, enjoy and be grateful for all you have been given, practice kindness, like, share or comment.



This post relates to this DAILY PROMPT : Object Lesson – Sherlock Holmes had his pipe. Dorothy had her red shoes. Batman had his Batmobile. If we asked your friends what object they most immediately associate with you, what would they answer?

I would hope mine would be the peace symbol.


 IMAGE BY Emotional Fitness Training, Inc.  Free download.

Strong feelings? How strong?

#EmotionalIntelligence depends on the ability to both recognize what you are feeling and to keep tabs on that feeling’s strength.

Emotional Fitness Training and #Emotional Intelligence explained.

Here’s another feeling thermometer:

#emotionalintelligence blog post #anger management feeling thermometer

This is available free as a digital download Poster Coach at the EFTI Store. Printing it up and posting where you will see it throughout your day will boost your awareness of what you are feeling.


Tip one: Any feeling can be rated and the best rating is on a personal feeling thermometer. How to create one? Easy.  Follow these steps.

  1. Take a blank sheet of paper and draw a thermometer along the left hand side.  Divide it into ten readings.
  2. Decide whether the feeling you want to measure revs you up in all the wrong ways or shuts you down.
  3. Recall the worse behavior that feeling enticed you into doing. That is your extreme rating.
  4. Recall times that feeling could not ruffle your feathers. That is the opposite extreme rating.
  5. Fill in each point between the two extremes.
  6. Add names and feeling clues to each point. A feeling clue is anything that tells you the feeling is visiting at a certain level. Self-talk is one type of feeling clue; bodily sensations another.

Tip Two:  Post this where you will see it regularly and when you see it, ask your self what you are feeling and how strongly.

Tip Three: Use another regularly occurring event to signal you to take a feeling temperature. The ringing cell phone for example.

Tip four: For more detailed advice about improving your feeling awareness buy EFTI’s eBook Know Your Feelings , Become a Feeling Detective   It costs less than a latte or a big Mac.

Remember you don’t need a Kindle or other electronic book reader to read Kindle books. Amazon gives you a free application that lets you read their eBooks on-line. 


I hope you find my posts of value.  If you do,  practice internet kindness by liking, rating, commenting, or sharing.

Thank you for all you do and as always work to stay strong, which while is not  easy, more possible than you might think.

Love all,


The Daily Prompt for July 17th,2014 did not inspire this post.  That prompt: Nosey Delights: From the yeasty warmth of freshly baked bread to the clean, summery haze of lavender flowers, we all have favorite smells we find particularly comforting. What’s yours?

However, let me point out that a smell can be a feeling clue and smells that calm are important emotional fitness tools.


Images are by Emotional FItness Training Inc. and can be downloaded free at the EFTI Store.