Tag Archives: Staying Strong

Stubborn or delusional?

“If you can dream it, you can have it.”  “Just do it.” “If I did anyone can.” Mostly delusional, as the song goes, “With a little bit of luck” you might succeed. If not:

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EMOTIONAL FITNESS TIP

Great expectations are often a set up for great disappointment.  I am fond of a saying found in the Microbe Hunters byPaul de Kruif: “Blessed are they who expect nothing for they shall not be disappointed.”

Of course, it was a message to scientists that their expectations biased their research; it spoke to my heart for I read it the shortly after my heart was broken for the first time.  I didn’t expect to love again, but I did, and yes my heart got broken several times, but the desire to love was not quenched by realistic expectations.

Then there was this poem by  Alice Walker:

Found on Facebook.

Emotional fitness thoughts and tip

Part of staying emotionally fit is holding on to the good and that includes hoping your dreams come true.  But it is equally true that you need to face reality.  So work toward your dream, but for the pleasure of the journey, knowing you might not reach the destination of your dreams.

STAYING STRONG

Thinking about what matters is one of my Daily Twelve Emotional Fitness Exercises; the journey toward creating peace in your world and the broader world matters most and not how many gifts you buy or are bought for you or if you reach all your goals.

Practicing kindness is another emotional fitness exercise;  being grateful,  a third. These three lead to pleasant surprises, but also help when pain is the surprise.  Click here to go to the webpage that four such exercises. 

You  might  enjoy my Emotional Fitness Pinterest Boards. They are designed to keep you strong. Some are laughs, lots are posts of other people’s advice I find useful, both my blogs posts can be found there.

Thank you for all you do and please take a moment to like, comment or share this post.

Katherine

P.S.

This post inspired by a Word Press Daily Prompt: Never Surrender  Are you stubborn as a grass stain or as easy going as a light breeze on a warm day? Tell us about the ways in which you’re stubborn — which issues make you dig your heels in and refuse to budge?  As indicated, I hold to my dreams but lightly.  I do the work and hope for the best.

OTHER LINKS OF INTEREST

Can’t hate you without hating me

Daily Prompt  #EmotionalIntelligence thoughts about you and me.  Can you figure out the topic from Doug Savage’s cartoon?

#emotionalintelligence blog post about not getting read.

The prompt asked: What is your least favorite personal quality in others? Extra points for sharing your least favorite personal quality in yourself.  

How does the cartoon answer the prompt.? It speaks to the trait we all share that I  I both love and hate. Me-ism – wanting to be the center of people’s regard, wanting to win the gold, to be the star, and at  least for writers and bloggers wanting mega readers.     

The President gave us a good example of me-ism at work when he engaged in taking a selfie ( A picture taken of yourself  to upload on social networking websites) at Nelson Mandela’s memorial service. 

Obama when he spoke at the service, said, “Let us search for his largeness of spirit somewhere inside of ourselves.”

A bit later,  he joined forces with the Danish and British prime ministers for an  group selfie. A photographer caught the three, and his picture of the group selfie went viral probably before the funeral was over.

Defenders say no big problem as it was not a funeral but a celebration of Mandela’s life; the photographer who took the picture noted: “All around me in the stadium, South Africans were dancing, singing and laughing to honour their departed leader. It was more like a carnival atmosphere …”

Others do not agree, and I tend to think the President might have been wiser to declined.  He gave much fodder to his enemies.

At the same time, no one becomes president without a big dose of - me-ism.

EMOTIONAL FITNESS thoughts

Me-isms quest for recognition is a survival need. A baby not seen is a baby in danger of dying.  Sadly, however, when balance is lost, hurt and danger gain strength; the hurt can turn to hate of the other, a desire for revenge, greedy grasping, and power seeking. Almost all the sins of humanity begin in too much  me-ism.  But also all the creativity and goodness in the world starts in me-ism.

As Hillel, a Jewish sage has noted: “If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, then what am I?”

A baby first learns that crying gets attention.  Did you know that a baby’s cries are nature’s ways of torturing an adult into meeting a babies needs? The crying creates discomfort that can only be stopped when the crying stops. Most of us offer the baby gifts thought to comfort and stop crying.  However, when the crying cannot be stopped, some abandon baby temporarily; a few others caught more strongly in me-ism have been known to pummel an infant until he or she can no longer cry.

By the time they are six weeks old, babies have begun smiling when their needs are met. This meets the care giving adults need for recognition and bonds the two together.

An important #EmotionalIntelligence thought: nature early on teaches that giving others recognition takes care of you.  As those who believe in Karma note, “What goes around comes around.”

Back for a minute to the cartoon.  The world is filled with writer’s and artists whose words will go unread and songs unheard.  A brute fact.  I seem to be one who might well remain a basically unread author. How do I cope?  I keep writing for writing is an important source of my joy. When I know one of you has read a post, my joy grows. That happens just enough to keep me writing.

My advice, balance the pleasure you find in pursuing a dream against the very strong possibility others will not see the value in what you offer.  Not always easy, but more tuned to reality than the those who preach anything is possible.

I sometimes rant against the “Just Do It” slogan.  But if doing it gives you joy and happiness, then the slogan holds true.

STAy Strong

Embrace your me-ism, but maintain balance. The best way to keep balance is to tilt the scale toward  mutual good.  The more we meet the needs of others, the more our needs will be met, the more the world tilts toward peace.

As always practice caring, be grateful for what you have been given, forgive yourself and others for failing to be all that is good as you continue to practice kindness and bring forward a more just world for all. 

Thank you for all you do, particularly for sharing and caring EFTI’s ideas on the internet. 

Katherine

TODAY’S EFTI POSTER

kindnessposter2

Most EFTI  posters posted on my blog can be obtained at the EFTI Store.  Many are free. Thank you for all you do and as always stay strong.

Katherine 

Articles of interest

Death waits all

This Daily Prompt: The Great Escape asks you to describe an escape from a near death experience. #EmotionalIntelligence notes, there is no escape, only postponement.  First, today’s grim reminder cartoon.

Death works from home

As usual a big “Thanks” to Doug Savage, you save me from grimness.

At 76 and a half, escape looks less and less likely. Such is life. I never was one who wanted to die young. Maybe because early on I escaped death when penicillin saved me from the ravages of Rheumatic Fever.

The wonder drug, had only recently been tinkered with enough to be recognized as a life saver a few years before I fell ill.   The  survivors of the November 28, 1942 Cocoanut Grove fire in Boston, were the first large group of people to be successfully treated with penicillin.  The drug proved  crucial in combating Staphylococcus bacteria which typically infect skin grafts.  Thereafter, the US Government decided to support the production and distribution of penicillin to the armed forces and it soon became a tool in every physicians tool box.

When I fell ill with Rheumatic Fever, penicillin entered my life.  For those not in the know regular doses of penicillin prevents the recurrence of staph infections and rheumatic fever was one that it stopped in its tracks.  Lucky me.

Penicillin is still used to treat rheumatic fever and in some parts of the world is in short supply.

EMOTIONAL FITNESS THOUGHTS

Lucky me in another way. Like most of us, I rarely consciously faced the possibility of death;  unlike many, however, I was  reminded a bit more than most, that life was a gift and death awaits all of us.  But I was also surviving the threat, grateful to be alive, and determined to live the best life I could . Perhaps that is what this Daily Prompt wants us to think about. 

We have all faced and face the prospect of death and we are all still alive.  Hopefully, that means we feel stronger, more grateful, more appreciative of life.

STAy Strong

As always be grateful for what you have been given. 

Thank you for all you do, particularly for sharing and caring EFTI’s ideas on the internet. 

Katherine

TODAY’S EFTI POSTER

Live by facing death

Most EFTI  posters posted on my blog can be obtained at the EFTI Store.  Many are free. Thank you for all you do and as always stay strong.

Katherine 

Articles of interest

MISS MISS SPELLER

A Daily Prompt response. Daily Prompt: Sad But True.  Tell us about the harshest, most difficult to hear — but accurate — criticism you’e ever gotten.

Boy being beaten for spelling errors

Happens all the time.  each day when I put finger to keyboard and press to publish something I wrote, I face possible  humiliation particularly by spelling purists and grammarians, but also by my inner critic.

I am an author who cannot spell.  Spell checker only helps some of the time with some words. Dictionaries help only when I have some idea about how a word might be spelled.

I am an author who also punctuates erratically.

I am an author who suffers from and with dysgraphia.

I am an author. I write and publish two blogs five days a week.

I am an author, Norton published my first book; Penguin my second book;  most recently, Metaplume has published sixteen of my eBooks.

I am an author and rejection and the pain of rejection visit daily.

I am an author, but first, now and forever, I am a writer. I cannot not write.

Emotional Fitness Thoughts about dysgraphia

What is dysgraphia?  A brain glitch that interferes with many writing related tasks.  For some it means sloppy hand writing.  For others it means difficulty organizing the thoughts in your head so you can get them on to paper clearly and easily.

For me, dysgraphia means not being able to see spelling errors when I write, even when I can tell you the correct spelling.  A simple word like “the” becomes hte, eth, het; “now” becomes not; “not” becomes now: “ever” becomes never.

A related challenge that  has worsened with age, my brain has decided it knows better than I what word I am trying to write.  This means I might be wanting to write “thank you” but my brain decides I mean “thoughtful.” Not helpful.

Punctuation is part of the my writing error mix, but lies more in a memory glitch.  This one most affects my ability to remember simple numbers.  My social security number still baffles me at times; a new telephone number takes months to learn and even then numbers reverse.  

Why? I have what a strong narrative memory, but an almost absent semantic memory – the memory that allows you to recall isolated facts, rows of numbers, formulas, and punctuation rules.  

In case  you wonder, I do not suffer from the better known learning disability Dyslexia.  I am a rapid and voracious reader.   Nor have  I ever suffered from writer’s block. 

I am a writer, I have become a published author only by the grace of those who did not stop reading when hit over the head with one of my errors.  Let me say here, I know that for some people finding spelling and punctuation errors is a visceral blow to your being and to protect yourself, you often read no further.  As one well-known president noted “I feel your pain”  but I keep reading.

I am a writer and one with a brain and an open mind.  I have become a published author because beginning with my teachers in elementary school, some saw the brain behind the errors and honored that part of my being, not just the part that can’t spell or punctuate as most of the English speaking world honors.

EMOTIONAL FITNESS TIPS

Tip one: People are more than their color, their clothes, their jobs, their religion, their nationality, and their ability to speak or write “properly.”  Most of us pride ourselves on our tolerance, automatic dismissal of another person is prejudice, not tolerance.

Tip two: When you are victimized by another person’s automatic dismissal of you, you have to deal with your pain; you own it; you can let it consume you, destroy you, or you can let it go.

Prejudice is an evil, but letting it destroy you when it comes to you in the form of words or emotional dismissal harms you, not the other person.

Albert Ellis  of Rational Emotional Behavioral Therapy said, “The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” 

As Captain Kirk noted when being attacked for the outside, “Shields up.”

My mother always  said when another called me names, “Suck it up, Buttercup.”

Tip three: Do not ask the impossible of another or your self.  Those ask me to spell properly and who expect perfect punctuation, ask the impossible of me. Expecting the same of myself is also expecting the impossible.

Tip four:  Dream your dreams, but check reality.  Be realistic about your strengths and your weakness. Do not try out for American Idol, if the only place your singing is tolerated is in the shower.

Tip five: Self soothing skills help you keep other people’s emotional slings and arrows from entering your heart. Two of my eBooks are designed to strengthen self-soothing skills.  Go to my Three Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises for an introduction. 

STAY Strong

Life is hard and relationships often hurtful; staying strong is far from easy.  I fail often. But persistence and keeping on with what matters makes all easier. Note, I did not say easy, only easier.  You will fail, but you fail less and succeed more if you keep trying. 
Thank you for all you do. And share if you think another will find this useful. That will be practicing kindness if only to me.

Katherine

Links and other articles of interest

Image by: (spellingdearest.com)

COMMERICAL

Watch for the opening of Emotional Fitness Training’s Store November First. This and other EFTI posters will be featured.  Weekly free-bees and those that are not free  will cost less than a latte and sustain you longer. Visit the store now to learn a bit more about Emotional Intelligence.