Tag Archives: Staying Strong

POLITICAL JOKES: LAUGH OR CRY

Asked to post a joke, I could not resist a few jabs at politicians. And yes, some are honest and caring; but good  jokes make you think clearly as well as laugh.

POLITICAL LAUGHS

Hope you found something to chuckle and think about. Stay strong, not easy in our politicized world.

 PARENTING TIP

Kids of all ages love jokes.  Laughing together bonds.  When kids start reading, you can begin helping kids think about the meaning behind the jokes.  Also important to keep jokes kind.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Remember’s sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness now is to share this post with someone who will find it inspiring.  Thank you.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

 FREE POSTER COACHES 

Like any coach, EFTI’s poster coaches inspire, teach, motivate, and reinforce thinking about what matters.  To use, print up in color and post there it will be seen often.  Poster Coaches can also be used at  Family Meetings to start a discussion about what matters.

DAILY PROMPT

Ha Ha Ha Tell us a joke! Knock-knock joke, long story with an unexpected punchline, great zinger — all jokes are welcome!

So given my feelings about the current state of political affairs here and abroad, I decided to pick on politicians. I don’t ordinarily like jokes that poke fun at a specific group of people. Over generalizing. However, thought I would be forgiven for this.

SIX TIPS FOR STAYING FOCUSED ON WHAT MATTERS

As you move into the New Year stay focused on what matters. Hypnotize yourself to resist the trivial, the all that glitters, but is not spiritual gold.

#emotionalintelligence building blog post.Remembering what matters

Throughout all religions and  philosophies it is believed the good life cannot be found unless it involves being caring and just.  That is what matters.

However, the world is full of salesmen selling something.  These try to hypnotize us into believing  owning the newest car, the latest fashions, the most up to date gadgets; others say how you look or believing as they believe matter most.

Too often such sales spiels are no more than banal narcissism. Sales and ad people all sell something to add to the cash in their wallets.  Some selll good stuff; some just sell.  Many sell beliefs – self-help gurus as well as preachers and teachers are also making sales pitches.

What to do? Learn a few facts about  hypnotism, how it is used to influence you, and how to moderate its power.  Knowledge is power. The more easily you can spot someone trying to use hypnotism to persuade you of something the more you empower yourself.

Tip one: Know what is meant by hypnosis. Definition of hypnosis: Hypnosis is a state of inner absorption, concentration and focused attention. Such states are called trances.

Tip two: Understand trance state. Trance states are any mind-set that takes you away from this world.

Tip three. Trances can be  voluntary or entered into without our conscious agreement. Reading a book so that we close out the world around us is entering a voluntary trance state.  Driving a car over a familiar route while into the thoughts in our head is voluntary if we are aware it will happen and allow it to happen.  Giving into a sales spiel  so we buy something we regret buying  and wonder why we did, means we have been lead into a trance state with our consent, but also probably without being aware that we are being entranced.

Boredom, fear, uncertainty, self-doubt, and confusion often lead to trance states. When experiencing the above we often  day-dream or wish for a different future. Both are trance states.

Tip four: Know that when anyone says “Imagine this” or “Close your eyes” they are inviting you into a trance state.   

Tip five: Learn lots of other ways salesmen and others use hypnotic tools to sell you by putting these words into your search engine  “Hypnotic sales techniques.”

You will see all the following suggestions and more.  Using vivid images and emotion inducing music; and the repetition of short slogans: “Just Do It” for one.  Product placement in movies or tv shows. Images of sexy people or  yummy food images. Sporting events or political protests that use crowd chants. Emotionally laden music – such as marches or romantic or nostalgic songs. Creating personal dissatisfaction by images of perfection – beautiful female or muscular male models selling almost anything.  Creating dis-satisfaction with who you are or your current life while offering a better future. Asking you about your dreams for the future. When people talk about their dreams, they are going into an imaginary future world. They are leaving the mundane here-and-now and are entering a hypnotic state.

Tip six:  Be alert to potential dangers of all  trance states.  Remind yourself to stay aware of what matters and that is always being kind and caring.

PARENTING TIPS

Tip one: Because parents are charged with persuading children to behave, parents use hypnotic tools.  Take comfort in the fact that persuading children to do what they do not really want to do is so hard. Proof we cannot be hypnotized so easily. Feel free to use many of the techniques suggested about, just be aware you are using them.

Tip two: The most potent hypnotic tool parents use is what is called a hypnotic bind.  That means you are appearing to offer choice.  Parents have used these for generations: “Would you rather have your bath after dinner or before you put your pajamas on?”  “Do you want carrots or peas as your vegetable?” “Do you want to do your homework by yourself, or do you want me to stay in the room with you?”  “Do you want to walk the dog before or after dinner?” 

Tip three: Teach the facts about trance and hypnosis as your children grow.  When you teach self-soothing skills, label them as trances or going into your mind to feel better.  Use the media to teach the ways salesmen try to persuade us to buy things.

PRACTICE DELIBERATE KINDNESS

One way I  practice kindness  is by sharing free downloads of  most of EFTI’s  poster coaches  at the EFTIstore. A poster coach is like a face-to-face coach; all serve as practice reminders, some are quotes about what matters, some teach you the exercises needed to stay strong.

You  practice Internet kindness every time you like, comment or share someones’ post. I feel good when I support my internet friends. Even small kinesses strengthen you.

STAY STRONG

I work at it every day and still have moments of weakness and regret, but manage most of the time to enjoy what can be enjoyed, act wisely, forgive myself and others, and practice kindness.

Thank you and work at staying strong until next time,. I work hard to do the same as life is often difficult but staying strong lets me find the good.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

HOW TO REMEMBER WHAT MATTERS – DAY TWO OF THE TWELVE DAYS OF EMOTIONAL FITNESS EXERCISES

Thanking and remembering the Creator of all was the reason for what are now mainly secular holidays  urging you to buy. The important stuff gets forgotten.

#emotionalintelligence building blog post.Remembering what matters

Throughout all religions and  philosophies it is believed the good life cannot be found unless it involves being caring and just t0 all.  That is what matters.

It is easy to  get caught up in believing  owning the newest car, the latest fashions, the most up to date gadgets; others say how you look; still others think it is how smart you are or what school you went to, how much money you have matter. And yes, those things have a place, but are not what matter.   What matters is the kind of person you are. What matters most is being kind and caring.

Self care is not enough.  If you don’t act to make the world better, self-care becomes banal narcissism.  No matter what else you want to achieve in your life, remember to be kind, just, generous and caring, not just to those you love, but to all.    That is what matters and what needs to be remembered.

Humanity is programmed to be kind and caring, when we turn from that we turn from our inner good and that twists our being.  As  the poet Edgar Guest noted, “I have to live with myself and so, I want to be fit for myself to know.”

How to practice this exercise:  Before you climb out of bed each morning, take a minute to Be Grateful-why that is the first of the Twelve Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises; then take another moment to think about what matters.

Then throughout the day, when stressed, take a Calming Breath and remind yourself what matters. You won’t bring peace on earth, but you will bring more peace into your heart

Enhancement: Having a brief written mission statement printed up and posted were you can read it as you start you day, strengthens your resolve to remember what matters.  .

Don’t know about mission statements?  Get EFT’s eBook Know Your Mission So You Can Reach Your Goals.  Cost less than a movie and does more good.

parenting tips

Parenting tip one: Just using the words “Remember what matters” starts your child thinking and thinking about what matters is key to emotional fitness.

Parenting tip two: Teaching rating scales helps keep everything in perspective and can start with toddlers.

Parenting tip three: Devote some family meetings to talking about what matters.

PRACTICE KINDNESS

Please rate this material. Doing so helps my social media ratings, but also lets me know what interests you most. Comments do the same.

This is what your stars will mean to me. No stars –Not good enough to rate; One star – Reinforced my knowledge –  Two Stars; New information –  Three stars;  New useful information; Four stars – Very good; Five stars – Excellent.

Thank you and work at staying strong until next time,. I work hard to do the same as life is often difficult but staying strong lets me find the good.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

FREE  STUFF FROM EFTI

All the handouts and poster coaches for this course are being posted at the store so you can download them for free. A poster coach is like a face-to-face coach; all serve as practice reminders, some teach you the exercises needed to stay strong.

To use one, after down loading it from the store, print it up preferably in cardstock and color, then post it where you will see it as you go about your day.

Apologies if you cannot find one.  I am a Jill of all in this business, so some things take longer than others.  If something used here isn’t posted yet, you will find lots of other offerings including inspirational quotes or more EFTI exercises. In time all will be posted.

DAILY PROMPT   Unsung Heroes  We all have our semi-secret, less-known personal favorites — a great B-side, an early work by an artist that later became famous, an obscure (but delicious) family recipe. Share one of your unsung heroes with us — how did you discover it? Why has it stayed off everyone’s radar?

My parents, who never had material success, but knew what mattered.  Next? All my many dogs who also knew what mattered.

How this fits in with today’s EFTI Post:  The true heros of life are those who teach you want matters.

DEFEATING HOLIDAY STRESS – repost

Holidays are not always happy.  What to do?  Take Part Two of EFT’s free 101 course –  Twelve days of easy Emotional Fitness Exercises.
I don't really like Christmas said two partridges in a pear tree.

Confession: When I converted to Judaism one of the things I happily gave up was the stress of Christmas.  Hanukkah is so much easier, you have eight days to get things right; moreover as a minor holiday it is  not supposed to be such a big deal.  But even Hanukkah has become bigger – competition rules, particularly on the Get Happy Trail.

Moreover, the sales people use the holidays to get you to buy, buy, buy and that adds to the stress if you buy into all the sales pitches.  The holiday stress starts with Thanksgiving, For many, finding something to be grateful is not easy and then there is Black Friday. The stress builds and builds and  builds.

What to do?   Grinning and bearing might help, but can lead to grinding your teeth. Not good. Can lead to Clenched Jaw Disorder aka TMD which ranks up with root canal and child birth for pain.

Hopefully, knowing some easy Emotional Fitness Exercises might zap your stress. Toward that end here’s my holiday gift to my readers:

Twelve Days of Emotional Fitness Exercises.   Starts Twelve days before Christmas, Sunday  the 14th includes Hanukkah, Christmas and then leads up to Kwanza which starts this year on December 26th.

WHAT IS EMOTIONAL FITNESS?

Just as physical fitness programs improve physical health; Emotional Fitness Training programs improve emotional health.  Emotional fitness is about managing feelingsWe can own our feelings or our feelings can own us.  Anger is a feeling that tries to own us: “I was angry; I couldn’t help myself.”  Sadness is another feeling that can own us. “I couldn’t do my work; I was so sad, I just sat there and cried.” 

When a feeling determines how we act, the feeling is in control.  When we determine how to act on a feeling, we are in control, we are emotionally strong what some call being emotionally intelligent.

As Daniel Goleman, the expert on emotional intelligence, reported in 1998, at least two-thirds of the difference between those who are competent and those who are not is due to emotional intelligence.  What Goleman calls emotional intelligence we call  emotional fitness.

WHAT IS EMOTIONAL FITNESS TRAINING®. INC.

Established in 1995, Emotional Fitness Training®., Inc. (EFTI) is a for profit corporation.  EFTI seeks to provide quality motivational, psycho-educational products for the specific purpose of improving emotional fitness skills.  Our main products include in print books, eBooks,  poster coaches and courses.

EMOTIONAL FITNESS TRAINING’S CORE BELIEFS   Every EFT product is based on the following core beliefs:

  1.  At one time or another we all deal with strong feelings for life can be cruel, relationships painful, happiness, and self-fulfillment hard to find.
  2. Luck plays a part in everything.
  3. We don’t always get what we want.  We don’t always get what we feel we have earned.
  4. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people.
  5. Despite the difficulties, we can endure most of the bad, be content most of the time, and happy some of the time.
  6. “Happily ever after” is the stuff of fairy tales and a false sales pitch.
  7. The healthiest lives are based on service to others; you don’t know how valuable you are until you give yourself away.  Others include every human being; we are one.
  8.  Struggling with a strong painful feeling is not the same as being emotionally disturbed, but no one is emotionally fit who holds onto envy, hurt, hatred, or despair.
  9.  People worry too much about being thought emotionally disturbed or crazy.  Worrying about being kind and not cruel is healthier.
  10.  When you are cruel to yourself or others, negative feelings are controlling you.
  11.  When strong  feelings control you, you trouble looms for you or others.
  12.  When you control your feelings, your life is better, your relationships are better; when you control your feelings, you move the world toward peace.

Emotional Fitness Training is not therapy. Therapy deals  healing; EFT deals with strengthening.  Although not therapy, EFT Programs can be used as part of a therapeutic program.  Moreover, because some people need more than an EFT Program, in order to stay strong, EFT Programs are designed to help participants decide if therapy is needed.

PARENTING TIP

Parenting is hard work and does not come naturally. Moreover, most parent advisors preach and teach what worked for them. The founder of Parent Effectiveness Training had one step daughter; he was a therapist and thought if all parents were like therapists children would thrive. Mainly that meant not judging or teaching, but letting “natural consequences” work their way.  Guess what? that worked but only  for two groups of kids; teens, and those not dealing with abuse, two much stress, or a chemical imbalance of one sort or another.

Why was his program so popular?  I suspect because it appealed to our hurt inner child and we all have a hurt inner child.

That child hugs childhood hurts too tightly to their heart and if housed in a parent’s body – vows never to be a hurtful parent. However, except for a lucky few, the hurting parent will emerge at one time or another.  I remember the day I realized I sounded just like my mother when when she was at her worse. Not a good memory. But a lesson.

Always making your children happy, always praising, only letting natural consequences teach right from wrong is an impossible Trying to keep kids happy is an impossible goal and reaching for it creates  guilt in parents.

WHAT TO DO?

Parenting tip one:  Code reality as much as you can for your children.  Early on point out make believe as make believe. No need to make a big deal, but just say “That’s a wish” or “Make believe” or “Just play” or “A fun story, but not real life.”

Parenting tip two:  Always  model the behavior you want your children to follow.  Impossible to do all the time, but good enough is really good enough.

Parenting tip three: Remember age and stage.  What works for a two year old does not work for a ten year old; what works for a ten year old does not work for a teen.

Parenting tip four: Two rules cover what matters: safety and kindness.  If the world followed these rules there would be peace on earth.

Parenting tip five: Punishment is not a dirty word, it is a tool.  All tools can be properly applied or misapplied.  That said, punishment must be balanced with praise and rewards – five goodies for one baddie.

Paernting tip six: Learn to apologise when you blow it. Apologies are part of good manners and good manner teach respect for others.  Amends are appropriate for big parental blunders

PRACTICE KINDNESS

Please rate this material. Doing so helps my social media ratings, but also lets me know what interests you most. Comments also help.

This is what your stars will mean to me. No stars – Not helpful; One star – Reinforced my knowledge –  Two Stars; New information –  Three stars;  New useful information; Four stars – Very good; Five stars – Excellent.

Thank you and work at staying strong until next time,. I work hard to do the same as life is often difficult but staying strong lets me find the good.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

DAILY PROMPT   Ready, Set, Done! As it’s been a while since our last free-write… set a timer for ten minutes. Write without pause (and no edits!) until you’re out of time. Then, publish what you have (it’s your call whether or not to give the post a once-over).s it’s been a while since our last free-write… set a timer for ten minutes. Write without pause (and no edits!) until you’re out of time. Then, publish what you have (it’s your call whether or not to give the post a once-over).

How this fits in with today’s EFTI Post:  I always start with free writing, but rewriting is my name. Repeats are part of my game.  Studies show information has to pass before you at least five times before registering and behaviors have to be repeated 30 times before they even begin to become a habit.

FREE  STUFF FROM EFTI

All the handouts and poster coaches for this course are being posted at the store so you can download them for free.

Apologies if you cannot find one.  I am a Jill of all in this business, so some things take longer than others.  If something used here isn’t posted yet, you will find lots of other offerings including inspirational quotes or more EFTI exercises. In time all will be posted.