Bent By The Wind? Stand Tall Again – Six Tips

Quote about becoming self and other aware.

When the winds of childhood blow too strong, you must bend to survive. Staying bent, however, deforms. The trees above cannot stand straight, even when the wind stops blowing. The ill winds blew too long and too hard.

To leave childhood, you must stand against ill winds.  Sadly, however, not all were fortunate to endure only occasional storms. If you are lucky enough to know mostly gentle breezes, be grateful. Otherwise, you might not be able to move upward, until you have made some sense of the storms that did visit.

You might think this post if for teens, but it is not. It is for all. Examining the winds of  childhood strengthens all and is a process that is part of moving forward through each stage of your life.

Emotional Fitness Tips

Tip one: Understand not only the winds that shaped you but the ones who shaped those who raised you.  Best done by understanding the things make us who we are. Current research points to:  (1) our genes; (2) our personal experiences including traumas, blessings, and the voices surrounding us; (3) the beliefs we create from our genes and our experiences; (4) what happens when we act on our beliefs.

You are you because of these four things. The ones who raised you, including parents, siblings, other family, teachers, and preachers are who they are because of the same four things.

Moreover, these four things commingling, twist around each other, and blow you hither and yon; they can up root you, or lift you toward the light.

Understanding the winds that shape all, is an important Emotional Intelligence skill.  It allows us to forgive, to make sense of life, and also to stay safe.

Tip two: Part of everyone’s genetic survival makeup as a child is to believe what is is normal. A beaten child thinks beatings are normal. An overindulged child thinks his or her wishes must always be met.

Another part of our genetic survival makeup is curiosity about the new and different. However, curiosity in some of us is strongly controlled by fear. What is known is safer than the unknown. Only the very bold rush fearlessly into the unknown.  Are you bold or shy or in between? In between is best, for either extreme impedes learning.

Tip three: Question everything, but with a quest for what sustains life, yours and all others. Two beliefs need re-examining. First, the more passionate ones, particularly if they lead to doing things you regret. Second, the beliefs that were shaped by the winds of childhood that do not blow passionately, but are always quietly determining who we are.

Tip four: Search for the good but do not deny the bad. In the quest to be their own person, too many adolescents throw out all the good taught by parents and teachers and other adults.  Doing so means re-inventing the wheel, a waste of time and energy.

Tip five: Exchange truth for opinion. Yes, there are what some call “Brute facts.” These, however, are not necessarily scientific truths. Think of the solid paths we walk across – floors, cement, hard packed dirt, rocky cliffs. What seems solid might be anything and could in an instant cast you down.

Faith is another example. For all the quarreling about an ultimate being, the truth is faith means believing what cannot be proved.

Then there are the political arguments.

Believing the paths we walk are solid need not be challenged, but seeing many of the beliefs quarreled about as opinion opens the door to peace and is better than endlessly trying to get someone to agree with your opinions.

It is more enlightening to listen to five dissenting opinions than five who who agree with you. But doing so takes efforts, for some opinions make us doubt ourselves and our beliefs.

Tip six: As always remember what matters.  Our survival and our children’s survival depends not on denying evil, or knowing it exists and doing what you can to fight it’s deforming power. That means fighting the ideas that lead us astray and down paths of hatred. s

Thank You For All You Do

Thank me by remembering sharing is caring; so is liking, or commenting. Your caring keeps me going.

Also if you did not find it helpful, comment and tell me what might have made it more useful.

Katherine

This post was inspired by this WordPress Daily Prompt  Wind 

Go here to learn more about the Daily Prompts.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

 

How To Be Unstoppable – Three Tips

Small steps get you to your SMART goal

Truth: we can be stopped. This life ends for each of us. Moreover,  before then, life blows can force us down on our knees, hold us down, and make it impossible to move on. What to do? Try these tips.

Emotional Fitness Training Tips

Tip one: If you are still able to move, remember to be grateful. Then move on slowly and surely.

Tip two: Whether moving or not, practice your self-soothing skills.  These three can be done even when your body cannot move: OMM, Be With Beauty, Sloganeering.

Tip three: As always remember what matters. Be generous and forgiving.

Thank You for all you do

Thank me by remembering sharing is caring; so is liking, or commenting. Your caring keeps me going.

Also if you did not find it helpful, comment and tell me what might have made it more useful.

Katherine

This post was inspired by this WordPress Daily Prompt  Unstoppable 

Go here to learn more about the Daily Prompts.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

 

Crisis? First Step: Stay Safe

Rules for dealing with the police

Much is made of the Chinese definition of crisis as being opportunity. I agree, but also know you need to survive in order to pursue opportunity.

If you do not find being stopped by the police makes your heart beat a bit faster, your muscles tensing, and mind racing ahead to scary possibilities, you are among the fortunate few.

Emotional Fitness Tips

Emotional Fitness Tip One: Be clear about what causes violence. Mostly hurt or fear turned into an automatic trauma reaction called fight or flee. I am not alone in thinking those involved on both sides of today’s crisis of killing suffer from trauma reactions.

Read about trauma particularly as related to crimes here, but do so understanding that both the police officers,  those who live in crime ridden areas or identify with victims of crimes suffer from what is called secondary trauma. 

Trauma reactions dumb down thought and rev up the tendency to over-respond. Why some victims of police shooting are shot multiple times.

Emotional Fitness Tip Two: To survive trauma reactions you need strong self-soothing skills.  Buy my eBook Self-soothing; Create Calm in Your Life for more exercises that help you stay strong and keep you safe in many situations.

Emotional Fitness Tip Three: Stay safe but proactive. Injustice creates hurt and hurt create the need to flee or fight. Flee to stay safe, but not the fight for justice.

As you fight, remember these words of Martin Luther King, Jr.: “Violence as a way of achieving racial justice is both impractical and immoral. I am not unmindful of the fact that violence often brings about momentary results. Nations have frequently won their independence in battle. But in spite of temporary victories, violence never brings permanent peace.

Thank You for all you do

Thank you and work at staying strong until next time.  I work on doing that all the time.

Remember sharing is caring. and an act of kindness. Share this post if you found it useful.

Katherine

This post was inspired by this WordPress Daily Prompt Crisis 

Go here to learn more about the Daily Prompts.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Twelve Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (amazon.com)

The Elusive Art of Not Knowing – Staying Strong Tips

Quote about God's elicenress

Many use their deeply held beliefs about God, including atheists, to wage war. Sad. Faith is a matter of believing what cannot be proved at least by humans.

Emotional Fitness Training Tips

Tip one: Remember what matters, not beliefs but actions. 

Tip two: Understand that beliefs  making you doubt yours arouse passion and can lead to wanting to kill the source of the doubt. The one true source of doubt lies with in.

Tip three: When feeling passionate about anything, think opinion, not truth. 

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering sharing is caring; so is liking, or commenting. Your caring keeps me going.

Katherine

Thank you Word Press for today’s Daily Post Prompt “Elusive” for letting me promote my book. Not sure how to participate in their prompts? Here are the steps to get started.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

Stormy Mind – Find Sanctuary Within

Quote about finding sancutary within.

A proverb notes, “The bird with the ruffled feathers must get out of the wind.” When your feelings are ruffled,  it is wisest to find calm before  acting.

Emotional Fitness Poster Coach promoting calmness to build Emotional Intelligence

Feelings want you to act quickly and as they suggest. However, feelings are natures way of telling you to pay attention. Good, but the bad is that many sound like 911 sires; useful when danger lurks, but even then one needs to think a bit before acting.

A bear appears in front of you on a hiking trail. Fear urges turning tail and running. Not at all the wisest thing to do. Bears can out run humans, running alerts the bear to your presence and if hungry you will soon be that bear’s dinner.

Best strategy when a bear appears in front of you and is not coming toward you is to speak quietly and slowly back away. For more detailed strategies go to Bear Smart Society web page.

The point is not about safety around bears, although if you are a hiker in bear country there are things you need to know. The main point of this post is that feelings are signals and  require thought to be acted on wisely.

Most of the time acting without thought does not get us in mega trouble.  That is why we are encouraged to “Follow our gut” or listen to our intuition.

Intuition or listening to our inner voice works except when it does not work. Regret is the feeling that says acting intuitively did not work.

Regret might visit because we feel guilty about how we acted or did not act; we realize we hurt someone we care about,  someone got angry at us, we got seriously hurt, or we got in trouble with the law.

Whenever a strong feeling begins urging you to act, in order to act wisely, you need to reduce that feeling’s power. Self-soothing exercises are designed to calm you so you can think more clearly about what matters. This post contains four that help with that task

A word of warning: These are exercises that strengthen your ability to create calm. They are not weapons to pull out only in an emergency. Each must be learned and practiced properly in order to help you stay strong when dealing with a strong feeling.  Go here to learn how to properly practice an Emotional Fitness Exercise.  Then read on for some others  exercises that create calm.

Emotional Fitness Tips

Emotional Fitness Tip One: Walking Meditations  are a less well-known  form of meditating, but very useful, particularly when anger visits.

Walking Meditation

Emotional Fitness Tip Two: Of course, there are times you cannot walk, particularly if you need to stomp and chant. Then, what might help is imaging a walk. That is best done in you brain’s sanctuary.  Here’s how to create such a sanctuary.

safe place (2)

If you have trouble visualizing, you are far from alone.  You might be among those who have to use words and not pictures to “visualize.” Here’s a tip, even if you visualize with ease, adding the words strengthens that skill.  Some of you have trouble with both seeing pictures or using words, body movements might help you.

Emotional Fitness Tip Three: Try sloganeering or calming self-talk.

Controlling negative self talk by sloganeering.
The brain has a hard time holding two thoughts, repeating slogans such as the ones above soothes and calms.

Emotional Fitness Tip Four: Buy my eBook Self-soothing; Create Calm in Your Life for more exercises that help you stay strong. 

Parenting Tip

Bruce Perry, the psychiatrist who debriefed the children traumatized by cult leader David Koresh, never sat down to talk with a child about something that mattered without having crayons and coloring books and coloring with the child.

With adult coloring coming into fashion you can use it to self-sooth, and encourage your children to do the same.

Thank You for all you do

Help me by rating this material. . This is what your stars will mean to me. No stars – Not helpful. One star – Reinforced my knowledge. Two Stars – New information. Three stars – New useful information; Four stars- Very useful new material.  Five stars – Excellent. Also if you did not find it helpful, tell me what might have made it more useful.

Finally remember sharing is caring. and an act of kindness. Share this post if you found it useful.

Thank you and work at staying strong until next time.  I work on doing that all the time. .

Katherine

This post was inspired by this WordPress Daily Prompt  Sanctuary 

Go here to learn more about the Daily Prompts.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Twelve Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (amazon.com)

Walk Slowly, Breathe Deeply, Feel Better Now – Tips

Quote  by Thichh Nhah Hhan about Walking Meditations.

The purpose of any mediation is to bring you to a quiet state of full awareness. When you can learn to practice full awareness, you can meditate and enjoy it’s benefits all day long.

Emotional Fitness Training Tip

Learn to do everything with full awareness. How. with a One Minute Meditation; what EFT calls One Minute Meditation.  Here’s it is:

How to do a Pone Mintue Meditatin

To turn this into a walking meditation, stand tall, but relaxed, keep your hands in front of you lightly clasped, and walk on focused on what it feels like to walk.

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering sharing is caring; so is liking, or commenting. Your caring keeps me going.

Katherine

Thank you Word Press for today’s Daily Post Prompt “Slowly” for letting me promote my book. Not sure how to participate in their prompts? Here are the steps to get started.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

Carefree Laughing and Playing Tips

Laughter is known to improve the moment and improve your physical and emotional health. Kids are the super stars of laughter. Let them show you the way.

Gentle jokes to help you laugh

Emotional Fitness Tips

Tip one: Carefree laughter means letting go of nastiness.  Nasty jokes and sarcasm improve no one and do not bring peace to our world.

Tip two: Carefree play means not caring what others think. 

Tip three: Remember what matters.  Children can be carefree more often than adults, because they are yet burdened with the responsibilities of adults. Remembering what matters means remembering it is every adults responsiblity to make the world a safer and kinder world so all can be carefree.

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering sharing is caring; so is liking, or commenting. Your caring keeps me going.

Katherine

Thank you Word Press for today’s Daily Post Prompt “Carefree ” for letting me promote my book. Not sure how to participate in their prompts? Here are the steps to get started.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)