COURSE ANNOUNCMENT

Take a break.  I am.  Course will start again on Monday, October 21. Apologies.  How does this make you feel?

List of feelings

As always thank you for all you do including liking, commenting, or sharing.

Katherine

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POST INSPIRATION: not the daily Prompt

An over loaded life got me. overload

Will try to have my feet back on the ground by Monday. Not a promise, but a commitment I will do my best to keep. Meanwhile enjoy your weekend.

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Go to the EFTI store and browse its offerings for inspirational quotes or exercises. Go there and subscribe to be notified of new additions.

 PRACTICE KINDNESS

Please rate this material. Doing so helps me ratings.  This is what your stars will mean to me. No stars – Not helpful. One star – Reinforced my knowledge. Two  Stars –  New  information.   Three stars – New useful information; Four stars- Very good.   Five stars – Excellent.

Thank you and stay strong.

IMAGE BY GOOGLE

SESSION FIVE: PEOPLE AS FEELING CLUES

The more we understand about feeling clues, the more we can spot when a feeling first visits. That is when it is easiest to stay in control.

List of feelings

This session is about people as feeling clues.  Who joins with a mad, bad, or sad feeling to urge  you to do what the feeling wants?

"Mother is only critical to make me more perfect."

IMAGE BY: http://www.cartoonstock.com

Go back to the last session and think again about your self-talk voices.  Which ones belong  to a particular person either alive now or from your past.

Then, review your description of the incident you are using to work through the various exercises.  Do it in your mind if you must, but hopefully, you wrote your description down. Either way, was someone actually there and  only a voice in  your head.  After you figure that out, figure out what each person’s role was.

Here it helps a bit to think the way the Transactional Analysis Pros think.  How is that?  They see each person as being made up of five “ego states,”  Two parents, one adult (the computer voice of reason) and two children.

Tranactional analysis Parent, Adult, Child

As you can image each of these characters speaks with a different voice and urges a different action; each is also a feeling clue.

Hopefully, you took pencil in hand and used last session’s handout to figure out what how you talked to yourself when dealing with the behavior in question. If you didn’t, think about doing so now.  The nice thing about taking a course like this is you can go back and revisit a session time and time again.

Didn’t take pencil to paper, still don’t want that is really okay and it might be enough to give you the power you want over any and all feelings bothering  you.

The task now is to realize which of the voices in your head are a critical parent, a nurturing parent, the voice of reason, your adapted child, the one who goes along to get along, or you  free child that does what s/he wants without thought to the consequences.

Here’s is something more to think about. All five of these voices have merit. We will talk about that later, but for now just learn to think of them as feeling clues you need to know and recognize.

Next up. A few more feeling clues and a handout to help organise them.  Also now is a good time to point out that course sessions will be posted Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday.

As always thank you for all you do including liking, commenting, or sharing.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

POST INSPIRATION: DAILY PROMPT

These prompts can be used to improve your critical thinking which is the heart of emotional intelligence.  You can think about them as they are stated or use them to spark other thoughts which is what I usually do. Most can be related to Emotional Fitness. How? Well here is the prompt that connects to this post. I’ll answer it and tell you how I relate it to Emotional Fitness.

Sweeping Motions  What’s messier right now — your bedroom or you computer’s desktop (or your favorite device’s home screen)? Tell us how and why it got to that state.

My desk. Why? Any number of reasons.  It is where I collect all I want to share;  after 76 and a half years of living the accumulation is huge.  Then I am a bit ADHD and one expert says those with that label are always organizing, but never quite organized. That’s me.  The Jewish High Holidays have meant ten days when I don’t turn on my computer, so more stuff waits.  Finally, I have family and friends and they are a priority as is laughing and playing.

How this relates to emotional fitness and today’s post. If I was not aware of feeeling clues, particularly my self-talk, I could beat up on myself for being messy. I could make perfectionism a goal, but that is a goal that is not only mostly un-necessary but wastes precious time. One of the professional gurus who form a part of my self-talk gave me this motto “Good enough is good enough.”

Think about that.

FREE STUFF FROM EFTI

Go to the EFTI store and browse its offerings for inspirational quotes or exercises. Go there and subscribe to be notified of new additions.

 PRACTICE KINDNESS

Please rate this material. Doing so helps me ratings.  This is what your stars will mean to me. No stars – Not helpful. One star – Reinforced my knowledge. Two  Stars –  New  information.   Three stars – New useful information; Four stars- Very good.   Five stars – Excellent.

Thank you and stay strong.

SESSION FOUR: MORE ABOUT BECOMING A FEELING DETECTIVE

You have been learning mostly about bodily feeling clues. Time to learn about the next most important feelings clue – your self-talk.

C'mom on inner peace, I don't have all day.

Her mouth suggests serenity has not yet arrived.  How? The corners are turned down. Her self-talk is the bigger clue, however.

Take this thought to heart: Guessing is all one can do when it comes to knowing another person’s feelings.  Feeling awareness is complicated enough applied to yourself. Thinking you know what another is feelings is more than complicated, it is dangerous. Even if the person  proclaims a feeling from the top of Mt. Everest,  you still cannot know exactly what s/he is feeling.  S/he may not know’ moreover, if trying to be nice, seeking to sell you something,  or wanting to avoid conflict s/he may not be truthful.

That does not mean, you cannot apply what you are learning about feeling awareness to others, it just means to be a bit of a Doubting Thomasina or Thinking Thomas.  Finally, the more tools you have when it comes to understanding your feelings and those of others, the closer you get to what might be the feeling of the moment.

As Alfred Korzybski pointed out,  “The map is not the territory.

From this comes the idea that the more views of the terrain, the more accurate the map “Might be.” “Might be”  remains the key phrase. Which is why the you need to be a Feeling Detective and know as many feeling clues as possible.

DID YOU DO THE HOMEWORK?

Whether you put pen to paper, hopefully at least you picked a feeling to work on and so thought a bit about about that feeling.  Those of you looking for certification of either the course completion or as an Emotional Fitness Trainer, one of the questions will ask you for the paragraph describing the feeling you  intend to work on as the court progresses.

ABOUT SELF-TALK

The things we say to ourselves reveal our feelings. Remember what you told yourself the last time something good happened to you:  “I deserve this.”   “Life is good. ” “I’m great.”   “Fantastic.”  “Thumbs up.”  “Fod loves me.”

Now remember  the last time something bad happened.  What did you tell yourself then? “Why me?”   “Life sucks.”  “There is no God.”    “Failed again. ”  “Not fair.”  ” Stupid.”  “Can’t take this.” Someone’s out to get me.”

All self talk both starts in a bodily arousal and is a feeling clue. Often the feeling clue determines the name that eventually gets attached to the arousal. 

Do another  feeling review and look for your self talk. Use this feeling review chart as an a guide after noting the feeling add what you said to yourself about what was happening.

101 feeling  review ho

Remember to take a few minutes to debrief and think about what the exercise meant to you. If you have been a bit diligent about the course, your feeling awareness should be improving.

Next up. A few more feeling clues and a handout that summarizes the information about feeling clues. 

As always thank you for all you do including liking, commenting, or sharing.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

POST INSPIRATION: DAILY PROMPT

Twenty-Five Seven Good news — another hour has just been added to every 24-hour day (don’t ask us how. We have powers). How do you use those extra sixty minutes?

My answer?  Nothing different. I bit more time to do as I want.  I am content with how I spend my days.  Are you?  If not you definitely need my course.

FREE STUFF FROM EFTI

Go to the EFTI store and browse its offerings for inspirational quotes or exercises. Go there and subscribe to be notified of new additions.

 PRACTICE KINDNESS

Please rate this material. Doing so helps me ratings.  This is what your stars will mean to me. No stars – Not helpful. One star – Reinforced my knowledge. Two  Stars –  New  information.   Three stars – New useful information; Four stars- Very good.   Five stars – Excellent.

Thank you and stay strong.

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SESSION THREE: MORE ABOUT BECOMING A FEELING DETECTIVE

Do you know when tension starts visiting you? How about anger?  Fear? Your body knows, the more you listen to your body, the more you control feelings.

101 body scan

First visit to the 101 course? Go here to start at the beginning.

HOW TO PRACTICE  ANY EMOTIONAL FITNESS EXERCISE

Proper practice requires full awareness. Full awareness is achieved by taking a Calming Breath, breathing normally while focusing on the exercise and when the exercise is over,  taking another Calming Breath and thinking for a few moments about what you have learned.  You take a Calming Breath by:

  1. Breathing in slowly to a count of five
  2. Holding your breath for another count of five
  3. Breathing out slowly to a final count of five
  4. Smiling softy as if you are looking at a sleeping baby or into the eyes of a loved one returning your love
  5. Whispering” Thank you.”

Frequent practice is a must.  All super stars, no matter what their field, practice hours and hours, day after day. You don’t need to spend hours, because once learned most  EFT’s exercises can be practiced in a minute or less.

Exercises such as the one above  take a bit of time to learn.  The first step is to learn it when you are relatively relaxed.  At first you will feel awkward or need to chick the cirections. When you can take a Calming Breath  and Body Scan without checking the exercises, build some confidence and then start speeding things up and doing a Mini Body Scan.  How?

Taking a breath and while holding it,  quickly scanning your body, naming only obvious feeling clues. What might they be: wrinkled forehead and pulled together eyebrows, narrowed eyes, teary eyes, tight jaw, tense shoulders, clenched fists, stomach pain, tight buttocks, shaky legs, even curled toes.

In time you will become more and more aware of the clues your body sends you and how those clues related to feelings.

Homework

Yes, taking a course means you be asked to do a bit of homework. Not often, but this assignment focuses you  a specific feeling. Doing so makes  all your are learning more immediately helpful.

Maybe shyness keep you from speaking up in class or at a meeting. Anger might have you speaking when it might be best to be quiet. Sadness might find you low on energy so you don’t do what you need to do.

Using that feeling throughout the course will intensify your ability to gain control. No you don’t have to do this. But it is recommended.

When you have picked a feeling to work on, think about and jot down, the facts about the last time that feeling bossed you and you did something you regret.

What were you feeling before the troublesome feeling came to visit? How did rhe feeling first announce it’s presence?  What happened that created the feeling? What did you say to yourself as the feeling grew in strength? Who was with you? What did you do that you regret? What made the feeling depart?  What troubled you about what you did?

Try to spend at least twenty minutes on the above.  Doing so will serve you well during the rest of the course.  Every question leads to more feeling awareness and uncovers more fee.ing clues.

WHAT COMES NEXT?

Self talk as a feeling clue.

Remember:  All of the posters and handouts used in this course can be downloaded free from the EFTI store.

As always thank you for all you do including liking, commenting, or sharing.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST